Does Your Zodiac Sign Influence You?

Are you ready to give yourself the permission to undo your zodiac personality traits, be more than what your natal chart says? Read on.

Most of us have an inclination to learn more about our personality types. It could be through reading the horoscope in the newspaper, or listening to an energy reading based on your zodiac sign. These seem to be fairly accurate at times. But there are always hits and misses.

So, should we believe what the stars, planets and birth charts claim?

The traits linked to each zodiac sign tell us about our tendency to behave in certain ways in day-to-day situations. These interpretations are generated from an ancient and complex calculation done using our date of birth. The calculation is deepened, once you start analyzing your birth chart with a specific location and time of birth.

However, here are some basic examples of how we’ve begun misusing this ancient wisdom :

  • I’ve seen people rejecting a potential relationship just because their signs don’t “match”.
  • People casually referring to their unhealed behaviors as a “xyz-sign thing”. They associate so deeply with their zodiac that their identity subconsciously depends on living upto their sign.
  • Some might even frequent astrologers and tarot readers, consistently stressed about what the planets have to say about them this week.
  • People losing hope because the week ahead is predicted to bring them “bad luck” or any other misfortune.

As much or less accurate as birth chart based readings can be for us, they are never an EXCUSE to behave those ways, nor to generalize or stereotype people.

And definitely not to limit oneself or hold back on experiencing life. When you focus too much on your zodiac sign or natal chart, you are doing yourself more harm than good. Why?

Because now, you’re too focused on living with certainty. You want to be certain if your health, wealth & love life will be intact. And thus you start losing your capacity to live in uncertainty and experience comfort in the unknowing of life.

You’re no longer curious or in awe of the unpredictable yet delightful nature of the universe. You find it even harder to surrender. In hopes of feeling comforted by knowing the future, you’ve actually begun making yourself more anxious than ever.

Even more importantly, a shift in planetary movement or moon cycle should NOT mean we now have the permission to lose accountability and blame the external.

Our zodiac signs should solely be used a beautiful guideline, to help us see the life lessons we should focus on overcoming. Some lessons, we may have already freed ourselves from. Others, are a work in progress. And there maybe a few you weren’t even aware of.

So essentially, the path of healing and self-awareness raises a question worth speculating upon.

Now that I have become aware of a limitation about myself, how can I make it into my strength?

I thought it’d be interesting to use some of the personality traits of a Virgo women as described in Speaking Tree, to talk about how I am working to un-zodiac myself and be more than a Virgo woman.

Since these traits are not exclusive to just one sign, I share my tips in hopes to inspire you to heal yourself too!

#1 – Unsolicited Advice

“She always believes that she knows what is best for those around her and therefore throws caring advice whether accepted or not.”

The biggest lesson in 2019 was that I CANNOT change anyone else, except myself. I can only hope that when I tell people how I feel, they will be considerate enough to behave differently.

unsolicited advice, personality trait, virgo, human nature, interfere

How did I stop giving unsolicited advice? With three small steps.

  • First, is to pause and ask someone clearly, if they are looking for my advice on their issue, or just need me to listen.
  • Second, when someone is merely venting, I simply bite down my tongue, reminding myself to only share opinions when asked.
  • Third, if it’s something that I need to initiate, such as telling someone I didn’t like their behaviour, I ask myself – why does this impact me? Many times, being able to reflect within makes me more aware of my needs. And if at all a confrontation is required, it is not from an emotionally all-over-the-place way, rather a healthy, boundary-setting one.

#2 – Perfectionism

“Virgo born women are obsessed with a sense of cleanliness in anything and everything.”

Living with a messy (yet very joyful) spouse taught me one thing – organised doesn’t always equal happy. We don’t live in hotels, and our houses don’t have to always look that way. It’s okay to display signs of living and using things.

Wisdom, Traffic Sign, Meditation, Perfectionist, Zodiac Personality

I also no longer take lead in planning events or vacations. AND, I allow people around me to make mistakes, without trying to give them a hard time about it. (still work on the last bit)

Also, as a writer, another way of releasing my need to make-perfect, is to continue to posting my content. It doesn’t always resonate with other people or isn’t always ‘polished’. But I consciously keep writing and sharing, allowing my ego to be challenged.

#3 – Masculine-dominant energies

“When she feels the arrival of genuine love in her life, she will experience a sweeping feeling and move towards projecting her attractive feminine qualities.”

I have always been too shy to wear dresses, and considered make-up somewhat superficial and unnecessary. My wedding brought that change within me, which allowed me to embrace my femininity in ways I neglected before.

Marriage, Bridal, Wedding, Shoes, Dance

Not just physical appearance, but I have embraced the quality of being ‘courted’, recieving love and help, and not necessarily always courting. Thus, tapping and balancing my feminine energies.

#4 – Seeking validation

She craves to be recognised and praised. However, a Virgo woman can never take blame or criticism sportively or constructively.

Self-love came a little more naturally to me than enduring criticism.

Here’s what works for me – practicing the PAUSE when being criticised.

Criticism, Write A Review, Review, Star, Zodiac Personality, Flaw, Pointing Fingers

If we can keep our mental turbulence in check at the actual time of provocation, we can reduce any further drama or volcano-like emotional eruption.

Read More : Seeking Validation in 3 Ways

Later being able to reflect on, and revert on the thing that troubled you is a skill you cannot inherit. Teach yourself that there’s always a next time, and every conversation doesn’t have to be a battle where you have the last say or wittiest comeback.

#5 – Emotionally aloof

“When she escapes into her private world to suffer the blow in silence, she will never like her friends to extend their caring hands to pacify her.”

Having grown up with the mentality that “I got this”, I rarely ever spoke up about my problems within my family. I was more of the advice giver, than taker.

But now, I am learning to share and embrace my imperfections and mood swings. And simply being able to be myself makes a lot of difference.

Self love, self care, acceptance, embrace yourself, hug yourself

Permit yourself to exist, just the way you are. Accept yourself, and then the world will too.

CONCLUSION

It is always inspiring to reflect on how far we’ve come.

So I want to leave you with the thought, if there were 5 ‘negative’ traits that could describe your zodiac sign, how many of them would you say you have overcome over these years of conscious evolution?

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How to Master Your Zodiac Sign and Not Let it Influence You

10 Inspiring Spiritual Quotes to Lift Your Spirits

From my personal collection, my favourite inspirational spiritual quotes about Life, Relationships and more!

Jumping right into my list of all-time favorite spiritual quotes. No further introduction needed!

#1 – When you know better, do better.

By Maya Angelou.

We often hold a tendency to accuse ourselves and others, “why would you do that, ofcourse you know better than that!”. But the truth is, if we really, truly knew better, we’d do it.

For example, we all know we should go to the gym, eat healthy, be honest, etc. But not all of us can live upto even these simple understandings. Why? Because they haven’t truly integrated into our being!

funny, man with gym ball, inspiring spiritual quotes

Once we have understood them at our core, it just becomes second nature. So the next time you or someone makes a mistake, let this be a reminder – if they knew better, they’d do better.

#2 – You wanna come with your cup full. What comes out of the cup is for y’all, what’s in the cup is mine.

By Iyanla Vanzant, this is one of the most unconventional spiritual quotes. We’ve all been taught to keep loving and caring for others unconditionally. We’ve been taught to put other first.

But it makes complete sense – how we can we be of service to others if we keep serving ourselves last (and thus, exhausting ourselves)? Self-love explained in the finest way!

Read More : 7 Daily Rituals for Self-Love

#3 – Let there be spaces in your togetherness.

Kahlil Gibran was ahead of his time in teaching us about healthy boundaries and interdependence in relationships. His book, The Prophet is a gold mine of spiritual quotes! But I’ll share the ones that really hit home.

Heart, Book, Love, Read, Paper, Romance, Spiritual Quotes

Whenever I find myself clinging to my husband and taking away from his personal time, this simple poem rings in my head like a reality check.

Let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.


Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous,
but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.


Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.

While this quote pertains to romantic love in his book, The Prophet, it really extends to every relation.

#4 – You start where you left off.

This was an insight on suicide, provided by a spiritual teacher that communicates with Angels, and the deceased ones, Rebecca Rosen. It might seem out of place to some of the readers, but her work is extensive and has brought tremendous help to countless people.

With the growing number of suicide cases, I approach this heartbreaking subject with a gentle reminder that many books also provide evidence of.

We don’t really escape, we just come back here again and again, redoing all the ABC’s, toddler walks, teenage dating and more before we, once again, get the opportunity to deal with our life’s challenges.

Thus, the only way out of this, is through this, as the saying also goes.

#5 – Nobody should be anyone’s teacher for more than a few months.

By Dr. Brian Weiss, though this is lesser known amongst his other spiritual quotes, was what empowered me.

Every guru I meet may only walk a certain distance with me. The real guru lies within all of us, and within me too. It has thus helped me to never ‘settle’ for one kind of experience, and instead to go within to find the answers, as I experience life’s many flavors.

Fantasy, Girl, Meditation, Yoga, Motivational
#6 – Every blade of grass has its angel that bends over it and whispers, grow, grow.

By Talmund.

In your darkest times, even when you cannot see the Light and it feels impossible to believe, know that everything is divinely guided, even a blade of grass. The universe talks to all of us, we just have to listen. 🙂

#7 – Since the universe is self-organising and self-correcting, if anybody did anything to harm me, the universe is already on it [karma]. The universe has a way to make sure I get, whatever in the material world that person took away from me. We call that the ‘Principle of Divine Compensation’.

From Marrianne Williamson, in her video about Forgiveness.

The message is loud and clear – the Universe is our provider and that’s where our expectations should lie, not in people!

Colored Pencils, Colour Pencils, Paint, Love, Spiritual Quotes, Inspiration
#8 – 42.

On the face of it, a number doesn’t qualify as a spiritual quote. But here’s the essence.

In the book Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, the number 42 is the “answer to the meaning of life, the universe, and everything” – calculated by a Deep Computer over a very, very long time. Though the meaning of this cryptic calculation is widely debated, the answer I read moved me deeply. Here’s what I found.

Software developers like to use 42 as a magic number, i.e. a number without any real significance, which you could replace by any other number. In other words, the meaning of life, is ANYTHING YOU WANT IT TO BE.

This has always humbled me, whenever I’ve been in doubt if I’m “doing the right thing”.

#9 – So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honoured by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full.

Humbling eh? Don’t toot your own horn! This is actually from the Bible, Matthew 6:2.

Humble, ego, pride, hypocrit
#10 – The Eagle does not fight the snake on the ground. It picks it up into the sky and changes the battle ground, and then it releases the snake into the sky.  The snake has no stamina, no power and no balance in the air. It is useless, weak and vulnerable unlike on the ground where it is powerful wise and deadly. 
Take your fight into the spiritual realm by praying and when you are in the spiritual realm God takes over your battles.  Don’t fight the enemy in his comfort zone, change the battle grounds like the Eagle and let God take charge through your earnest prayer. You’ll be assured of clean victory.
Pray without ceasing.

What are some of your favorite spiritual quotes? And how have they helped your journey? Let me know!

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Therapy : Why I Decided To Get Help by Alexandra Craig

What does therapy feel like? How does therapy impact relationships and jobs? Read this beautiful personal story by Alex.

It took me until I hit rock bottom, to finally admit to myself that I needed therapy.

Ofcourse, my rock bottom most likely looks different than yours if you’ve been there before or might be experiencing it now.

I suppose the turning period in my life was when I realised I had lost all of my previous passion for cooking and baking.

I had been to freaking Culinary Arts School!

person slicing food on the wooden board

But after being in the field for a while a part of my love for it vanished. Having worked at the same restaurant for almost 2 years, I was miserable. I didn’t want to cook or bake at home and I couldn’t wait to leave work. I left that restaurant back in October 2018 for the FIRST time.

From there, I went to a manufacturing plant that made medical supplies. It was supposed to be a 4 10’s type of job, Monday through Thursday. I was also on the off shift, which was 4pm to 2:30am.

This job was interesting. I met a lot of wonderful people through this job. However, my hope to FINALLY have weekends off was crushed within two weeks of being at this job.

Working overtime turned out to be mandatory and it ended up being every Friday and Saturday. We all made the best of it at work, but it definitely had an effect on our lives outside of work. Which were basically nonexistent at that point.

Even though the hours sucked, I had regained some of my happy while being at this job. It was the best couple months in my network marketing business. I just missed spending time with the people I loved. My family lives an hour away and when you have your own house and dogs and responsibilities, an hour feels farther away than it is.

Time, Plan B, Alternative, Office, Idea, Mental Health, Therapy

I worked at the manufacturing plant for 5 months. Then, I received a text message one morning from my favourite manager at the restaurant I had originally been working at. She informed me they were looking for a new kitchen manager.

I’ll be the first to say I missed the hell out of most of the people in that establishment. I felt excited and nervous and anxious. I set up an interview with the new owners that week. They offered me the position and I accepted.

The Excited High before Rock Bottom

I knew I was walking into a shit-show.

A broken restaurant that had just recently undergone new owners and changes in management. But if I’m being honest the issues with this restaurant stemmed from way before the new changes, it was a shit-show when I was a cook and I knew it was most likely worse.

But I didn’t realize JUST. HOW. BAD. It was going to be.

I didn’t realize how severely understaffed they were.
There were people that were happy to have me back in a position that would be able to help make positive changes.
Then there were people who thought there was no hope.
I was told by an employee, and old coworker, that I had jumped back onto a sinking ship.

I remember telling that person that I appreciated the challenge. What I didn’t realize was going to be the most challenging part was coming back and having someone I had looked up to in the past, be and act completely different. I needed to learn and when I asked her questions, I was blatantly ignored. I tried putting rules in place and was constantly told that the other three managers never enforced them, which ended up making my life harder.

Holzfigur, Stones, Life Struggle, Depression, Anxiety, Stress, Mental Health, Therapy

Certain employees were just allowed to run wild throughout the kitchen when I wasn’t there, and when I was they made sure to either suck up or make my day/night hell. I was good at my job, the best that I was able to be with very little guidance. I used my knowledge from school to the best of my abilities and I had most of all the technical kitchen manager duties down.

For example, I didn’t know was how the casino stuff worked. I struggled with that and constantly asked for help. But I was able to support my employees on the line if they needed it. I wanted to succeed so badly, I wanted to help improve that restaurant.

I think I wanted this so badly because I wanted to regain my love for the field.

But I was one person and with the other three managers not really backing me up in the changes that I wanted to make, that they swore up and down that we needed to make, well it became a pointless task.

People can talk all they want, but if their actions don’t align with what they say there is NOTHING you can do to force changes on them. You can’t be the only person that wants change if it effects a whole bunch of people.

Sinking, Sinking….Sunk

I started this manager’s position in March of 2019. This job led me to a mental breaking point.

Drown, Swim, Sinking, Underwater, Depression, Mental Health, Break the Stigma

Maybe I just wasn’t cut out for it. But in my heart I truly believe that wasn’t the case. I gave it my all. Literally I gave it EVERYTHING I had. I used all of my previous knowledge from work and school to succeed.

My days “off” were spent worrying about who was going to text me with an issue or if everything was okay there. Almost all my time was spent answering angry phone calls from employees while out to dinner with my family.

Time was spent getting nasty text messages from employees because I was just following MY bosses’ orders. It was going in on my days off to do an order or to help out with something in some way. I was exhausting with all the hiring networks. Then, about two months in, I finally saw myself spiralling downwards.

I was angry that I wasn’t being backed up by the other managers, especially the one who brought me back, that I was being blatantly ignored to my face by someone I trusted would help.

I was constantly feeling guilty because of the possibility of missing important milestones in my little sister’s life. Feeling guilty about missing out on family events. Feeling guilty for constantly feeling guilty.

A woman in the bathtub tired depressed sad, unhappy, therapy

I was ready for bed by like 4 PM, constantly irritable.

I was letting my other life responsibilities slide. My Network Marketing business was also suffering.

I was crying every day, multiple times a day.

I wasn’t eating, losing 30lbs.

Also, I was always dizzy. I even threw up a couple of times before going into work due to the severe stress I was feeling.

Unhappy, Man, Mask, Sad, Face, Sitting, Lonely, Depression

I was thinking that the world might be better off without me. I thought about death a lot more than I would like to admit. But here I am, admitting it.

This. This was my breaking point. This is when I went on the search for help.

I literally google searched therapists in my area.

This led me to a website with a bunch of therapists to choose from. This website had a little bit about the therapist and their style of therapy. This was very nerve-racking for me because somewhere in the back of my mind I was struggling with the idea that “I wasn’t broken enough for therapy.” I ended up emailing the one closest to home. I didn’t really want to travel too far for something I wasn’t sure would work. We set up an appointment at the end of June.

How Therapy Effected My Career & Relationships

I ended up giving my boss a month’s notice that I was leaving and I ended up staying a week past that month to “help out” because my boss was on vacation.

When I gave the notice I had nothing else lined up and that in itself terrified me. I had quit a job unexpectedly before and had trouble finding anything for 2 months. I refused to do the same thing. A friend of mine referred me to a temp agency that she used to get her current job. I had a job a week after I left the restaurant. 

white and black now hiring signage

My next step was to open up and tell my wonderful boyfriend what was going on with me. I know he had noticed the signs but he is also one that doesn’t believe in getting help so it made me nervous.

I wrote him a note as a sort of ice breaker into the conversation. He was so understanding and has supported my decision to go through and through. I’ve learnt that he doesn’t believe therapy would be for HIM, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t help the people who do choose to go.

alexandra-craig-w-boyfriend-and-dogs
Alex with her amazing boyfriend and adorable dogs

Learning this has brought the two of us closer and has led to a deeper connection because I was able to be super vulnerable with him.

What Does Therapy Feel Like?

The first couple of couple of sessions were definitely awkward.

It was about opening up about why I was there and the recent events that led me to seek help. As time went on I felt more and more comfortable. About 4 sessions in, I started opening up about different things in life and not just what led me to seek help. I opened up about certain relationships that I was struggling with and so on.

don't give up. You are not alone, you matter signage on metal fence

There are still times when my therapist asks me something and I have no idea how to answer her. I truly believe that it’s because I’m still struggling to find the answer. And that is OKAY.

A part of me feels like my therapist sees things in me that I struggle to see in myself. When I started my blog and put together a self-love photoshoot, she was one of the biggest cheerleaders I have ever had.

After talking to her about it, she told me that I was a leader at heart, which is something I still struggle with because of my managers’ position. I felt like a part of me had failed as a leader there so to hear someone tell me that that is something that’s in my heart & personality was difficult, but it’s also true. I know I have the strong abilities to lead and I also believe I have the ability to help others, which is the whole reason I started my blog.

My point is, if you feel like you need help, do not hesitate to go find it.

Read More : My Therapy Stories

You might be surprised by the changes you start to see in yourself throughout the process. Trust yourself to make the right decision for YOU. If you are struggling and you aren’t sure where to turn, I will always be here to listen and guide you to resources if that’s something you want.

If it hadn’t been for my best friend mentioning therapy to me I’m not sure I would have ever went. She offered a little nudge and encouragement that it was okay to seek help.

alexandra-craig-w-best-friend-1
Alex with her best friend and biggest influence for therapy

So this is my nudge and encouragement to you, as a way of paying it forward. I hope this helps someone in some way.

With Lots of Love,

Alex

Alexandra Craig is a self-love and self-care blogger who shines her light and shares more of her stories through many inspiring platforms. To read more of her work, check her out on :

Instagram,
Facebook, and of course her website,
The Positively You Project

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