January 2020 - My Spiritual Shenanigans

7 Spiritual Facts About Your Annoying Relationship

Why are some people impossible to tolerate? Looking into the role of annoying people, both spiritually and psychologically.

Why are some people impossible to tolerate? Looking into the role of an annoying relationship in our life, both spiritually and psychologically.

Side Note : I have been meaning to write this one, since about two years, now. Time I finally got to it.

If it’s someone at work, sure you can always deal with their less-than-healthy behaviour and manage this situation to an extent, as I’ve talked about in the recent post, How to Deal with Toxic People.

But sometimes those people can be our partner, or our parents. Then what do you do? And you can’t just go around avoiding everyone, you would have nobody left.

It’s easy to become defensive and say “I don’t need anybody”, but that’s just ego talk. So, to bring true inner change, here are a couple of perspectives I want to share.

#1 – The more someone pushes your buttons, the more tightly-knit your spiritual bond is.

Every single person in your life is there for a very specific reason, and even the irritating ones are NOT by chance.

Man And Woman Wearing Brown Leather Jackets, Fight, Argue, Relationships, Annoying People

The people you resist the most can also teach you the most about your own shortcomings. They bring many deeply-effecting lessons.

They have soul contracts to treat you in a certain way (because they are the best candidate to stir you in this said way, based on their own spiritual evolution) to help you heal parts of you that are getting triggered right now when they so-called ‘push your buttons’.

#2 – You can escape the relation, not the lesson.

You can abruptly end one relationship, but if you don’t deal with the lessons it brought, that behaviour will keep resurfacing for you.

There’s a reason why people now have even 2 or 3 divorces, as a bad example. There’s something within their story that they are unwilling to heal,because of which it keeps coming back with a new face.

However, if you still want to consider ending the relationship with someone, check this video out first, called Should I Break Up?

#3 – Many times, relations of different types will form similar patterns.

That means, you will have the same issues over and over again – the reason may be different on the surface but the core lesson will be the same.

Some patterns may include the side effects of being a people-pleaser, or not being able to accept people without judging them. Or learning how to not give unsolicited advice.

Leuchtkasten, Shield, Output, Note, Exit, Escape, Breakup

#4 – In the annoying relationship, YOU may have a karmic debt to this person.

Though I don’t like to classify souls as old or new, it can be seen that some souls have a tougher time living the human experience than others. They may be physically unwell all the time, or have a lot of emotional and mental disturbance. And so, they need help to get by.

Sometimes, we sign up for caretaker roles in others lives.

Woman on Black Folding Wheelchair, Healthy Relationships, Helpful, Happiness

Our contribution is larger than what we are getting in return, it seems. But what does this teach us? It helps us understand the importance of giving back, without always being able to receive anything in return. This is a great and tough way to experience the law of Divine Compensation.

#5 – At a soul-level, nobody is really a bad person.

As difficult as that is to believe when a relationship is so annoying, it gets on your nerves. But, just think of it. We are the sum of everything that has ever happened to us. Nobody is the way they are without a reason.

We learn from our parents, society, personal traumas etc. When hitting your head against the wall about why someone treated you in a certain way, think from THEIR perspective. If we can stop taking things personally, we will be able to react a lot less.

Woman Holding Her Head, Angry, Emotions, Sentiments, Trauma, Annoying People

We have to stop feeling threatened and cultivate the space that lets us treat others with compassion even in ugly situations. Which brings me to my next point.

#6 – Someone’s behaviour isn’t about you, it’s about them.

What you are feeling as a consequence of their behaviour, is about you. This is the mirror exercise. I learned this when I was working on my Twin Flame Healing, but it applies to life in general.

So start using the emotions that arise in you to heal your deeper-rooted wounds. Instead of focusing on the question why are they doing this to you, determine why its effecting you.

Woman Standing In Front Of Mirror, Reflection, Self Discovery, Self Awareness, Annoying People

#7 – People’s inability to love you back doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you.

It doesn’t mean you deserve this perpetually.
It also doesn’t mean you love ‘too much’.

Concluding Thoughts

All this being said, the conclusion is quite evident. An annoying relationship can have a huge karmic role to play in our life.

Everything happens for you to evolve. You can either be fussy and bitter about it, or you can become accountable and rapidly change everything for the better.

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7 Spiritual Lessons You Can Learn From Annoying People

5 Ways to Increase Self-Love, by Iman

A guest post by a repeat writer for the blog, Iman Walker on five simple strategies to increase self-love. Read this for some new year motivation!

A guest post by a repeat writer for the blog, Iman Walker on five simple strategies to increase self-love.

“Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.” – Louise L Hay

Contrary to what some people think, self-love is not a bad term. It doesn’t mean you’re a narcissistic, selfish or self-absorbed person. Quite the opposite. As a matter of fact, it means you make the effort of recognizing your worth and value.

Self-love is accepting that as human beings, we’re imperfect. And that’s perfectly okay.

In a world where we’re always reminded to compare ourselves to others, to change our lifestyles or looks to fit silly societal standards, self-love is what we do to accept who we are as individuals.

Now, this may sound like sweet, cliche talk, but it’s true. Putting yourself first in your life is a practice that can transform your relationship with yourself.

If you’re ready to start appreciating yourself and your efforts, valuing who you are as a human being and knowing your self-worth, I have five tips that’ll help you out on your journey towards loving yourself.

#1 – Silence the mean, mental chatter in your mind.

Our inner critic.

We all have one. Her opinions are hurtful and useless, and although we realise this, we always listen to her.

silence, stop, mental chatter, inner talk, inner critic,

Let’s admit it. If we spoke to others the way we speak about ourselves, we wouldn’t have any friends. Sometimes, WE are our worst enemies.

One of the first steps to loving yourself is to silence the mental chatter. Don’t give this voice in your mind any attention. Dismiss the criticism. This might be difficult at first because we’re so used to giving in to this mean voice. But with practice, it’ll become easier.

We criticize our bodies, our looks, our ability to do things. And so the best way to combat this voice is to vocally tell ourselves the complete opposite of what she’s saying.

So next time you criticise yourself for whatever reason, flip the script and say something positive instead. You’re always with yourself, you deserve that self-love and appreciation.

#2 – Self-love means you stop comparing yourself.

Before we had billboards, magazines and movies that made us compare ourselves. Now it’s all those things and social media.

Many of us are guilty of using social media in a way that doesn’t benefit us. Every day, we scroll through our feeds, staring at pictures of people we think have perfect lives, bodies, partners, and so on.

If you think about it, what does this do besides ruin your mood?

Embrace your differences, unique, self-love, harmony, meeting, group

I love this quote by Iyanla Vanzant, “Comparison is an act of violence against the self”. Her choice of words shows how damaging it is to compare ourselves to others. It brings about no benefit.

If you want to start loving yourself more, you must recognize that you were created unique, and your journey is different from everyone else’s. Anway, if we were all the same, life would be boring!

#3 – Recite positive affirmations about yourself.

Research has shown that reading or reciting affirmations can influence how we feel about ourselves in a good way. This also subconsciously encourage us to make good choices in life.

self-love, self-care, postive, affirmations, journal, notebook, flowers, be unstoppable, motivational quotes

You can come up with your own self-love affirmations. But just to give you an idea of what you can say, here are some examples:

I believe in myself and my abilities to do amazing things
I am worthy
I’m deserving of love and respect
My self-esteem is always increasing
I’m always trying to become a better version of myself
I have special gifts unique to me
I value myself and my self-worth
I’m in control of making my own decisions
I can make a positive difference in the world

#4 – Embrace your differences as an act of self-love.

This tip ties in with the one about comparisons.

cheer, toast, self-love, healthy relations, success, party, champagne, friends, happy

Society has set an unrealistic standard for how our lives should be. But, in our pursuit of meeting this impossible standard, we put ourselves down for being different.

This needs to stop. We’re not all the same and we were never meant to live identical lives. Don’t look down upon yourself for being different. This is what makes you unique and special.

And embracing your differences is a key ingredient in your journey to self.

To love ourselves is to accept ourselves as we are. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t strive to become better. Naturally, you should always try to improve. It’s important to have goals, but love every step you take towards reaching your objectives.

#5 – Be patient with yourself.

“Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself” – Max Ehrmann

patience, time, gentle, watch, slow, flowers, self-love, love yourself, validate yourself

This is one of my favourite quotes. It can be interpreted in different ways, but I understand it like this: While changing, growing and transforming yourself, be gentle. Be patient. Be loving.

Whatever phase you are at in life, whatever choices you’ve made, there’s always a way to make things better. On some days, you won’t feel good about yourself. But that’s okay. As with anything in life, the goal is to carry on and not give up.

Final thoughts

There you have it. Five pieces of advice to help you increase self-love. I hope you found them useful, but there are many other ways you boost self-love. Check out this post on 7 daily ritual s that are essential for self-love.

Iman Walker is a copywriter and blogger for the personal development industry. She enjoys writing on a variety of subjects, particularly those related to self-growth and productivity.

You can check out more of her work at https://imanwalker.com/ and on her Instagram page.

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3 Reasons for Spiritual Loneliness, A Feeling You Don’t Belong Here

Some hard-hitting truths about “belonging here”, spiritual junkies, and more. Here are 3 reasons we experience spiritual loneliness.

It’s common for people spiritually inclined to start feeling disconnected from the world. I believe that 3 factors cause this spiritual loneliness. Working on these areas can help make our experience on Earth more wholesome once again, as it should be. So lets dive right in!

#1 – The ‘Illusion’ Mindset

One way I see this, and have personally been a victim of myself, is the ‘illusion’ mindset. This is messing with our heads in multiple ways. Here’s how.

Illusion #1 – We Are Not This Body

It’s true that we are not this body, and the body is only a vessel. But when you burn your finger, or hit your head, how do you go about believing this is an illusion?!

Plush Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear, Injury, Spiritual Loneliness, Disconnected from reality, physical health

It is most often in moments of pain, that the physical reality dawns upon us. Before that, we’re in our own worlds, in our own bubbles.

Then, my first question is, why should we reject this vessel? Or worse, misuse it, thinking that it is impermanent in nature?

Isn’t spirituality about respecting the entirety of existence – every cell, every molecule, every energy form?

Look after your physical body. Have more time for activities such as Yoga, gymming or a simple jog around the blog.

Illusion #2 – Everything material is ‘maya’

Not just the physical body. But when you’re focused on the spiritual aspect of your life, you automatically start feeling a disconnection from materialism.

For example, the car I drive is not an illusion, because it definitely does get me from one point to another. And every time I’ve had an accident, I’ve surely felt the impact of it in my very bones! But there was a time when I was the girl who freaked out and screamed at an auto-driver because he rammed his auto into my brand new car.

Auto, Vehicle, Automotive, Vw, Old, dent, scratch, broken, car, accident

Because of what I will propose in the solution soon, I am no longer attached to my car. I enjoy driving, and yes, it upsets me that all my hard-earned money is spent repairing the many scrapes that occur from driving on jam-packed Indian roads. But I am no longer that girl.

Illusion #3 – All Your Relationships are Temporary

Furthermore, the illusion mindset makes you disconnect from relations around you. When you start seeing everything as temporary, you force yourself to detach.

However, detachment, unless coming from a natural place is bound to give you the feeling of spiritual loneliness.

Illusion #4 – This Planet is Fake

And the most serious example of the implications of the illusion mindset, is people that aren’t worried this planet is under man-induced catastrophe that can wipe out our entire race. Why?

Because they believe that it’s temporary and that we’ll go live on another planet anyway. In other words, undermining the entire course of nature that got us to where we are. Hmm…

And so I come back to the question once again. Isn’t spirituality about respecting the very essence of everything, material and non-material?

It neither makes sense to ignore or call our experiences an illusion, and neither does it help to become overly obsessed with the things that deliver these experiences.

How do we find a balance though? We’ll get to that shortly. Let’s quickly talk about the second type of disconnect.

#2 – The Intergalactic Mindset

The second way in which I’ve seen the disconnection rise, is the growing talk in the community about people being starseeds, or coming from different planets to help the people on Earth.

Some believe that they’re from the future, or from a parallel reality and have been trapped into this version of life. Others even believe that there’s a matrix in place that prevents us from remembering our true state, and that aliens are helping us exit this matrix.

Ufo, Alien, Guy, Pozaziemianin, Ufoludek, spiritual loneliness

And while I respect all ideas and remain neutral about how true they are or not, ultimately we all come from the same source.

When we reminisce the potent planets we may have lived on in the past or that we’re better because we are NOT really human descendants, we are neither fully appreciating life on Earth.

Nor are we giving a fair chance to the opportunities we can take in the here and now, because we have layers of disapproval, resentment or even sadness about how the environment here is not what we want it to be.

And we are feeding our spiritual loneliness by trying to create spiritual qualifications, groups or hierarchies.

My philosophy is simple. No matter where you’ve come from and what paradise you’ve seen, now that you’re here, let’s try to make the most of it, eh?

#3 – Being on a Spiritual ‘High’

What could be so wrong with being on a Spiritual high, you might ask.

Desktop, Pill, Abstract, Addiction, Spiritual high, pretty capsules, colorful pills, sparkles, glitters, shiny

We feel better about ourselves, because hey, atleast we’re not sex-freaks or addicts, but are we really any better, if we ourselves are spiritual junkies? And you might even wonder, is there even such a thing as being too spiritual?

I’ll let you read more about this hard-hitting answer first, and come back to this post.

Even after reading the aforementioned post, you might not think you’re on a spiritual high, but there are always signs and symptoms that become prevalent.

The biggest sign is your lower chakras being out of balance.

Your lower chakras connect you to the physical realm, the higher chakras to the Spiritual realm, and your heart centers and anchors you to both!

The practice of balancing our chakras is essential, because it’s easy to get carried away and start renouncing so many of the human needs before we’re meant to. The worst effect is how disconnected we feel from EVERYONE and keep going on and on about how we’re ‘different’.

I mean think about it. Don’t you think something has to be off in our inner energies too? The whole of existence can’t be wrong, can it?

So, let’s talk about the solution now for all this talk about spiritual loneliness.

EXPERIENCING TRUE CONNECTION

I will go into much more detail about Chakras in a future post, but major thing you need to understand today, is the need to align of your chakra system. This is quintessintial to make the most of every aspect of your being – Spiritual and Physical.

Chakra, Energy Centres, Body, Center, Balance, Yin Yang, Inner Peace, Spiritual Loneliness no more,

Some practical and easy techniques that I highly recommend from personal practice are :

10 minute chakra-balancing every morning with this no-fuss, guided video

Natural grounding practices like being in nature, around animals, playing with kids etc. to rebalance your lower chakras and help you feel more connected through your Root Chakra,

Meditating or wearing grounding crystals. Black tourmaline is one recommendation. Clear quartz and amethyst have worked well for me too.

Meditate on your heart Chakra (my suggestion is the Heartfulness Meditation by Daaji)

As spiritually awakened beings, it is our responsibility to look after and optimize our use of the energy centers given to us. Not ignore them and fool around (neither spiritually nor materially).

Beer, Blotto, Comic, Court, Drinking, Fool around, joker, irresponsible

Don’t believe me? Sincerely try these techniques out for just 2 to 3 weeks, and you’ll experience the inner transformation yourself. Spiritual loneliness? No more. 🙂