The Chemistry of Pleasure : Fuel Your Life With Nitric Oxide, by Lisa

What is the chemical proof that pleasure is good for you? What are some subconscious blocks preventing you from experiencing pleasure? And more!

“Pleasure. It feels kind of selfish, right?”, she asked me.

Yes, it does! To the point that it can make most of us blush or look disappointed at the person talking about it.

Lisa Welsh is a self-love expert and she makes some powerful, bold and revolutionary revelations around sexuality through her work.

Very recently, I had spoken about pleasure as a key component of healing your Sacral Chakra energy. So, it’s perfect that she could go into the chemistry and psyche of pleasure through this amazing post. Here’s what she has to say.

Can Pleasure FUEL Your Life?

We don’t make time for pleasure.

Of course, there’s always something more important that you need to do. Like grocery shopping. Or the dishes. Or making sure that little Meg has her dancing shoes packed for tonight.

Vintage, Victorian, Old Fashioned, Chores, Labour, Hard work, Pleasure, Laundry

So, you hear yourself urging your loved ones to go and have fun, while you catch up with the bills, the cleaning, and the organising. 

But what if I could tell you that pleasure is actually a powerful fuel for life, without which you are missing out on something vital. I’m talking about a tiny molecule created by your body, called nitric oxide.

Is there a scientific backing for pleasure?

This powerful little neurotransmitter, nitric oxide works in many wonderful ways to help you feel good.

  • Stimulates the release of endorphins, dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin (feel-good hormones)
  • Relaxes your blood vessel walls
  • Increases the flow of oxygen to your heart, brain, and other organs
  • Reduces cell inflammation

In simple terms, nitric oxide energises your cells – making them happy, healthy, and vital! 

Really, how pleasing is the pleasure chemical, nitric oxide?

It’s such an impressive molecule that it has even been harnessed by the medical world:

  • To help to strengthen premature babies’ lungs 
  • In Viagra to help boost erections
  • In heart attack medications to open blood vessels
Red Blood Cells, Microbiology, Biology, Chemistry, Nitric Oxide

Pleasure Versus The Madonna-Whore Dichotomy

Let’s take a minute (or two) to talk about the shame or shyness behind pleasure within the female community.

It’s mostly unconscious, but if you’re like most women, you feel more comfortable with self-sacrifice. You don’t give yourself permission to dive headfirst into pleasure because it feels indulgent, a waste of precious time, and far from essential.

The truth is, you’re not to blame. After all, you’ve been taught that women are either:⁣

GOOD⁣

  • Chaste⁣
  • Pure⁣
  • Sweet ⁣
  • Excellent mother and wife material⁣
  • Attractive (but not sexy)⁣
  • A wholesome girl next door⁣

or BAD⁣

  • Sexy⁣
  • Seductive⁣
  • Promiscuous⁣
  • Exciting⁣
  • Desirable (but not marriage material)⁣
  • A dangerous femme fatale

This Madonna-Whore dichotomy is not only false, it’s also incredibly harmful. And it has existed for years and works beautifully to keep us small, keep us slut-shaming our sisters and to keep us from stepping into our full power as women.⁣

Woman, Bullying, Stress, Finger, Suggest, Shame, Guilt, Blame

The Good Girl/Bad Girl mentality is a programme working silently in the background of our minds, insidiously controlling our thoughts, emotions and behaviour. It reinforces gender inequality, objectifies women, and restricts our sexuality.⁣

In action it sounds like this…⁣

  • A sexy woman is not a good mother⁣
  • I should hide my true desires, so my husband doesn’t think I’m dirty⁣
  • She’s a whore if she sleeps with him on the first night⁣, or before getting married
  • “One good girl is worth a thousand bitches.” (Thanks for that one Kanye.)⁣

I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to choose one or the other.⁣

  • You are not one dimensional.⁣
  • You can not be limited to just a good girl or a bad girl.⁣
  • Your worth is not defined by what you choose to do or not do with your body. ⁣
  • And neither is your ability as a mother.⁣

The world desperately needs to see you stand up and own your true, full expression. ⁣

Which is why, today, I want you to understand why you need pleasure, and why your body needs nitric oxide.

How is nitric oxide linked to everyday life?

Whether you are a woman or man, it is hopefully beginning to make sense to you, why pleasure isn’t a sin. But all this while, you’ve been depriving yourself of this life-fueling feeling, through unconscious actions.

Would you like to know how to get your hands on this magical molecule?

Well, nitric oxide production is produced by your body as a reaction to PLEASURE! And unsurprisingly, nitric oxide levels are depleted by shame, stress, anger, fear, and grief. 

selective focus photography of woman surrounded by people in the street, anxiety, stress, pleasure

So, let’s paint a picture of you, going about your normal life, rushing, overwhelmed, perhaps a little anxious. Would you dream of taking a step away from your busy-work to inject some pleasure into your day?

Not usually. But, maybe now you know the power of nitric oxide to boost your creativity, health, happiness, and mood, which, in turn, allows you to show up in the world, your family and relationships as a more radiant, energetic version of you…that won’t sound so far-fetched.

How can you boost nitric oxide production?

To begin with, releasing the energetic trauma from your body, through the Sacral Chakra region is important to fuel the pleasure zone. This can be done in two ways.

Breathing & shaking.⁣

First, watch this quick and incredible video clip of deep breathing in live-action, below.

The entire abdominal & pelvic cavity is moving with each inhale & exhale. The diaphragm is massaging the internal organs & can improve those things we have been chatting about; uterine, ovarian, pelvic floor, bowel & bladder function.

Impressive, huh? ⁣

Now let’s get on to the shaking, but don’t take my word for it.⁣

Neurobiologist Robert Sapolsky’s book, Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers and Trauma Therapist Peter Levine’s book, Waking the Tiger share a key theme. Let me break it down.⁣

Animals, such as zebras, live in fear of death…all day long. Popping to the water hole, munching some grass & just hanging out with the other zebras is incredibly risky.⁣

It’s likely that they’ll be chased by a hungry lion at any moment. ⁣

Hartmann'S, Zebra, Hartmann'S Zebra

So, why are zebras not walking around with PTSD despite all of these brushes with danger? Because they know how to dissipate stress!⁣

How? As soon as they are safe, they discharge the energy by shivering, shaking, twitching & leaping. And then, they carry on being a zebra. ⁣

Your nervous system works the same way, except you have a big clever brain that gets in the way. ⁣

So, just take some deep breaths & shake it off. Do it every day for a few minutes.⁣

There are no rules. You can shake out your hands, arms, butt, whole body. You can even get on your hands and knees & wiggle around. Just go with it!⁣

No judgement about what you look like & no need to understand what you’re releasing. ⁣

NOTE : This tool is not designed to replace therapy or pain relief. Sometimes deep breathing can trigger a traumatic response, so go slowly.

You can also boost nitric oxide production and enjoy all of its delicious side effects in other simple ways. 

  • Laughter (especially belly laughs)
  • Orgasm
  • Meditation
  • Enjoyable exercise
  • Big hugs
  • Warm baths
  • Ocean swims
  • Playing with your dog
  • Things that light YOU up!

You already know how great it feels to spend time in nature, with the sun on your face and the wind in your hair. And you’re familiar with the tingly vitality that follows enjoyable experiences. But you didn’t know the chemistry that was making it happen. 

Girl, Portrait, Woman, Young, Face, Skin, Pleasure, Happiness, Self-care

Of course, it sounds so simple that you might be tempted to overlook the power of using pleasure as a fuel for life. But I urge you to actively seek ways to bring 1% more pleasure to your day today, and again tomorrow.

Concluding Thoughts on Pleasure

Try to be mindful of all of the times that you refuse to please yourself. It probably happens more often than you think. Be aware of any subconscious internal limit to pleasure. Decide that you have permission to fully enjoy self-pleasure when it comes along and notice how you feel. 

Please don’t take my word for it! Would you commit to bringing more pleasure into your life for 30 days? Journal the experience so you can see how it works for you.

Lisa

Lisa Welsh
Lisa Welsh

Lisa Welsh is here to help you feel good and have fun, in your body and in the bedroom. Her mission is to help women heal and awaken their sexuality, so that they can live full, creative and juicy lives. 

Pin for Pinterest:

The Chemistry of Pleasure : Fuel Your Life with Nitric Oxide

3 Spiritual Mindsets that Will Give You Hope For The Future

Coronavirus, depression, forest fires, terrorism and then some. Is there hope for the future? These 3 spiritual insights will help you navigate tough times.

Every year brings us humans (and this planet) a new set of challenges. And they make you wonder, is there any hope left for the future?

In 2019, a physical fire began engulfing one country, Australia. And on the other side, a mental fire was breaking down another, India. I was heartbroken by the statistics that 1 in 6 people from India are fighting depression.

This year, the story has been no different. We’ve had a rough start. As of writing this post, just 3 months into 2020, we are overwhelmed as a planet. An unseizing Coronavirus, growingly violent political protests and unrest, startling repercussions of global warming, and then some. Yikes!

I keep quiet on issues of such nature, for the simple fact that my own energy becomes erratic and chaotic the moment I watch the news. And I’ve heard this from many people – media provokes our anxiety and a LOT of people avoid it after one point.

To some capacity or the other, we are all an emotional sponge, absorbing emotions around us. We are not immune to opinions. And therefore, it makes sense that we become scared and seek protection from all that’s happening around.

But now, I chose to break my silence as an exception.

This post is a dedication to one of my newsletter subscribers. The lovely soul, Abu wanted to know how to keep safe in today’s day and age. So here’s my spiritual outlook on 3 ways in which we can heal ourselves in a bleeding, burning & broken planet.

NOTE : I am no expert, and these are thoughts framed based on my personal experiences and outlook. Feel free to take what resonates and leave out the rest 🙂

#1 – Understand & Reinvent the Karma

It is natural to be scared when death is so close to you.

Child, Suffering, Look, Help, Pity, Compassion, Hope for the future

We are scared of other people because they want to kill us, or because they carry a virus that may kill us.
We are scared of nature, because it might drown us or engulf us in its flames.
And we are scared, because we have forgotten that there’s more to us. More to this reality.

Everytime things go wrong, as a collective, we are shaken and quickly begin losing ourselves to the external events. Because we’ve been living in our own bubbles, when reality screams for our attention and hits us hard, we lose our minds.

The world in general, is living in one of the lowest mental frequencies possible lately. The frequency of FEAR. What kind of actions do you think we would be able to take in such a mindset? Not very inspired ones, for sure.

Because of this fear, sooner of later, we might (and we will) be adding more fuel to the flames. It’ll make you experience duality at the maximum, behaving in ways that cater to the mindset of “me first”.

There is no “they”, and there is no “me”. We are all a part of one whole. What we do unto others, is done upon us too.

This is called Collective Consciousness.

That can seem overwhelming because now you’ll wonder if I’m asking you to do nothing, or to hold a positive outlook no matter what. But that’s far from the truth.

Everything happening to us is actually very old and repetitive. It’s a human conditioning that sees the surface-level tragedy, but we need to dig deeper and identify the kind of pattern everything carries.

We can break many lifetimes of cycles, simply by becoming conscious of their occurrences and disengaging from old patterns. Start small, start with you. Start with those around you.

Hands, Cohesion, Together, Human

When the time comes to serve humanity, to display your lessons, to make or break a situation, let your display be from the highest end of the spectrum. Let go of that fear. But, how?

Let your display be that of a Karam Yogi.

Remember, we are all a part of one whole. That means healing one soul is healing every soul. So every effort counts. And every is needed now if we want to have any hope for the future.

  • Stop seeking what you can “get”, all the time. Start giving.
    If you want to be spiritual, really spiritual, stop living in the lack mindset.
    Stop hoarding on food, medicines & masks.
    Stop rushing others and creating panic.
    Start spreading hope, NOT fear.
    These are all primal instincts, fear-based instincts.
greed, fear, hope fo the future, selfish
  • If you see a stranger or animal that is injured, and have even the slightest urge to help them, don’t watch them bleed or pray for them to get help. BE their help. You might have been the help the Universe sent for them.
  • Don’t take mishaps personally. The universe isn’t against you. When plans fail, it’s the universe protecting you, NOT punishing you. Only when you stop taking things personally, is when you remain detached. Otherwise, you’re busy fulfilling personal agenda and fending for yourself. And in such cases, we cannot be of service.
  • Pay your dues, and don’t cut corners (no matter what space in life). Live out your karma properly and as consciously as you can so you don’t have it coming back for another round.

    That means that even in the most dire of times, don’t lose your integrity.

Read More : 7 Things We Need to Get Straight About Karma

  • Stop ignoring or mocking messages about global warming.
    Start taking plastic-bans seriously.
    Start taking water crisis seriously.
    And, start taking mother nature seriously.

    If you want to have hope for the future, you have to admit that it’s rocky. Not live in denial.
Global Warming, Ecology, Nature, Tsunami, Hope for the future

#2 – Attract More Power to You

Here’s some more hard-hitting truth. Are you ready?

If you really were working to make the world and yourself a better place, you wouldn’t be engulfed in fear. You would be in your power.

And in a time like this, the Universe is giving such lightworkers and torchbearers even MORE strength and power to work on behalf of those that choose to be bystanders.

How else do you think Australian firefighters can serve a country tirelessly day and night? While we struggle to get up an hour earlier from bed to help our own parents at home, because we were up late at night texting and mindlessly scrolling? (I’m guilty too)

How else do you think doctors and nurses are able to be in a place of constant threat to their own lives, whether it was ebola or the new COVID-19?

Don’t you think that other people out there are scared too?

I believe that there is a firefighter, a doctor, an angel in all of us. But we haven’t called them forth to duty, and hence they’re in slumber.

Angel, Guardian Angel, Angel Figure, Sleeping, Universe, Power, Destiny, Hope for the future

So what should you do to experience your true power? I’m glad you asked.

Do things that are beyond personal gratification.
Things that are bigger than you.
Things that take courage.
That are bold and unlikely of you to do.

You may have had a flash of inspiration as you read these sentences. And then an immediate counter-thought, “no that’s too big”.

But that’s the very thing that will bring you true power to fight this. Then watch as the Universe unfolds with opportunities for you to serve mankind, in a way that will truly redeem you.

#3 – Do The Inner Work

Sure, you might not have the courage in the immediate moment to serve somebody outside on the streets.

But can you atleast show up for yourself?

You might think this sounds counterintuitive. Selfish even. But, until you aren’t grounded, authentic and self-aware, you will not be of much use to those around you.

Only when you start showing up for yourself, and stop waiting for someone else to come save you, is when you can go save the world.

Most of us are lazy. We procrastinate, complain and then get tired really easily. Aren’t you tired of not being dependable? Of not feeling ‘worth’ much? These aren’t my words, these are the inner dialogues in most of our minds.

If we are that unhappy to be alive, then why are we resisting death? We might as well say thanks because we asked for it, and now it’s here!

Man, Skull, Background, Texture, Death
The truth is, we want to live. And we want to live well.

And that’s why, these catastrophes are happening. because the planet, the Universe and the future generations need us to wake up. We’ve been asleep way too long. We’ve been powerless way too long.

It’s time to step into our spiritual selves and truly integrate everything human with everything spiritual.

Concluding Thoughts

Ofcourse there are unpleasant facts about the grim situation around us. And perhaps a gross simplification of the way ‘out’, but the solution starts with some fundamentals that we still haven’t grasped.

We need to take responsibility and claim our part in all of this, because that’s the only way we can make it through the increasing mess. We need to be near the truth, not run away from it. Once you see reality for what it is, it becomes REAL. And thus act-uponable.

And, every single one of us counts.

But if you don’t think you do, you need to ask yourself why you’re still alive. Because as the saying goes, as long as you’re alive, you have a purpose.

So my question to you is, now that you’re here and alive, when are you going to start using this life?

Love, Light & Awareness,
Vasundhra

*-*-*

Add some Love & Light to your inbox. Come join the monthly newsletter to get self-healing tools, insights and exclusive spiritual highlights. 🙂

Processing…
I just sent you the welcome kit – go check it out!

Pin for Pinterest :

Hope for the Future : How Can We Protect & Heal Ourselves?

My Therapy Stories (#3) – Abandonment

What is the impact of abandonment issues on our mental health? Here is my therapy story, and the kind of inner child healing I experienced with self-care.

Growing up, I faced a lot of abandonment issues.

The earliest memory is when I was 5 years old, and a Brazilian girl in my apartments announced that today was her last day. She was moving away. And it turned out, she was mad at me about something.

I had no clue why, but she went ahead and made fun of me infront of our friends. It was embarrassing but I wanted to rectify this. She was very dear to me. So I tried apologizing to her. But she pushed me away and left.

I never knew what became of her. I’ve forgotten her name and her face. But that was my first taste of rejection and stayed hidden in my subconscious for decades to follow.

As I grew older, there was a recurring incident of being kicked out of my group of friends. It was always a group of 4 or more girls, and somewhere down the line, I would be asked to go sit with someone else, or that I wasn’t wanted in their conversation.

In short, I always ended up alone. And this abandonment affected my self-worth over a period of time.

As a consequence, my introvert nature revealed itself in a deeper capacity. I started hanging out with one friend at a time. Groups made me uncomfortable and unwanted. When I didn’t have that ‘one’ friend, I would resort to being alone and doing my own thing.

It wasn’t until I came to college, that I made a lasting group of friends. Infact, when everyone showed up at my wedding, it was truly a healing touch for my wounded inner child.

Wedding, Friends, Happy, Abandonment, Celebrate, Therapy
My gang of friends!

How I Coped With My Abandonment Issues

Because of several childhood incidents, which I also talked about in the first two parts of My Therapy Stories, I became a people-pleaser. I had low self-esteem.

So, I constantly seeked people that validated me, for the things I did for them.

I tried to retain friendships by being extra nice as a person. It was as though I was always over-compensating for the friendship I lost at the age of 5.

I would make it a point to always go talk to the new kid, or the quiet kid. Because I knew how it felt to be left out.

I would spend hours making handmade gifts on birthdays, going out of my way to help my friends in whatever way I could. Emotionally, morally, financially. But I rarely ever experienced the same affection back for me.

My love for DIY was often extended in making handmade b’day cards.

I felt confused and unloved.

There were moments when all the heartbreak and abandonment had me second-guess my self-worth. But once I evolved from this behaviour, I was able to resolve a vital question on my journey towards Self-Love – do I love ‘too much’?

Inner Child Becomes Outer Rebel

People-pleasing combined with an introvert personality also led me to always be the good kid. Even when I didn’t like something, I never spoke up. Later, I became aware of this, and started rebelling and being defensive.

I would refuse to do as I was told. This lasted for a while, only until I started making sense of the importance of creating healthy relationship boundaries.

Through therapy, I learned that two people in a dialogue can both be right, and yet disagree. Someone’s opinion doesn’t invalidate mine. And I can be the mature one to hold space for both of us.

Ofcourse, I still sometimes struggle to do what someone else wants me to, because I feel scared that I am conforming again. The sense of righteousness within sometimes shows itself and gets in the way of having a happy conversation.

This is also why I am often called assertive and inquisitive. I have extensive discussions, and I want my mind to be able to do something without feeling invalid for how I feel.

But the lesson is clear to me. You have to believe in yourself first, you have to be your biggest supporter, not just the biggest critic. Everyone else’s approval comes after that, never before.

Concluding Thoughts

Abandonment is a common fear that can lead to insecurity, lack of self-worth and a big impact on the kind of relationships we enter. So many times, we hold on to less-than-healthy people because we are scared that we will be alone once again, if they leave us.

Dealing with my fears helped me close the loop on such relations, and step into healthier, fulfilling dynamics.

So, I encourage you to reflect on your own childhood memories, and identify the patterns that created who you are today. Is the fear of being abandoned a part of your story too?

Read More : My Therapy Stories – Inner Child Wounds

*-*-*-*

Add some Love & Light to your inbox. Come join the monthly newsletter to get self-healing tools, insights and exclusive spiritual highlights. 🙂

Processing…
I just sent you the welcome kit – go check it out!

Pin for Pinterest:

My Therapy Stories (Part 3) : How I Overcame Abandonment Issues