The 10 Stages Of A Spiritual Awakening & How To Navigate Your Spiritual Journey

Everyone’s spiritual journey is unique, but there are some commonalities. Namely, the stages of a spiritual awakening. Here’s what you need to know!

You’re not going crazy, you’re just waking up! That’s been my favorite quote around the overwhelming feeling of a Spiritual Awakening. And as I work with more and more people, trying to bring them comfort and awareness towards the journey, I’m noticing a pattern. There are actual stages to all of this. Stages of a spiritual awakening!

There seems to be a sophisticated spiritual awakening process that the universe follows, to navigate us from the state of autopilot living to conscious living. But wait, let’s take a step back.

What even is a spiritual awakening? And is it the same as being ‘enlightened’?

A spiritual awakening is like an AHA moment, where you finally begin to see the limiting ways of the human mind and human life. All the while realizing how much more expansive and powerful we are. And that there’s much more happening behind the scenes, in the ‘spiritual realms’ than you had realized! You literally “wake up” to seeing and experiencing life through a much bigger and wider lens.

Enlightenment? Well not there yet so can’t really talk about the experience of it from a personal reference. But what I understand it to be, is finally realizing that not only are we really more powerful and more expansive, we are infinite. Now that would be something!

While our journeys to this sense of infinitude are unique, and the catalysts for our growth differ per our soul contracts, here are my observations of what the various stages of spiritual growth encompass.

I hope that this resource will help you understand how to start, or even how to continue your spiritual journey. I get how confusing it can be when you’re first having spiritual experiences and through this guide, it’s my intention to give you some grounded examples of what to expect.

Stage 1 – The Dark Night of the Soul

This is the precursor. Every single person I’ve spoken to so far, has told me similar stories :

  • “I felt like going to a psychologist”,
  • “People asked me if I’m in depression”,
  • “I was having an existential crisis”,
  • “Life feels shallow or meaningless now”,
  • And so on…

The Dark Night of the Soul is a period when your vision of how life should be begins to shatter. It might occur after the death of a loved one, a huge tragedy or trauma that hits you at a deeper, subconscious level.

I also love what one of my beautiful subscribers, Chelsey recently shared with me, about how her dark night felt different from depression, because unlike depression, this time, she was able to still get things done. And yet, she felt dark clouds and lots of heaviness leading up to the awakening.

depression, sad, anxiety, dark night of the soul, stages of a spiritual awakening

Or in some cases, it could arise for no specific reason at all. As was my case. For me, everything felt perfect. Until it was not. Here’s my story, written from back in the day.

The dark night of the soul can last for months, or for some people, spread across years. There’s good news of course, and all this perseverance adds up to something, which you discover eventually! Which brings us to the next stage.

Stage 2 – A Ray Of Hope

Somehow, you keep going. You don’t want to give up, maybe just not yet. And finally, one day, there’s a breakthrough.

This marks the before and after of your life. The movement from autopilot to conscious living.
Hands, Open, Candle, Candlelight, Prayer, Hope, Faith, Sunshine

For me, it started with a deep sense of fulfillment that came from chanting OM during my meditation practice. And then finally, when I looked into the meaning of seeing 11:11 on the clock, it all added up!

You might search “am I going crazy?” one day and find spiritual awakening as your search result. Or you could stumble upon a book like A New Earth that sets things into motion for you.

Whatever is your soul’s choice of weapon, as soon as it happens, it is certain to instantly relieve you of that initial heaviness and discomfort. And even though you don’t have all the questions answered yet, you’re beginning to believe in the possibility of finding the answers.

Stage 3 – Inquisitiveness

This is where you start binging on information about anything and everything that has to do with spirituality.

Suddenly, you’re eager to know more about what a soul is, the purpose of life is, reincarnation, soul contracts and then some. You may notice yourself reading beyond your own inherited religious texts, diving deeper into the other eastern, western or ancient scriptures.

reading lots of spiritual books is a natural part of the stages of a spiritual awakening,

Personally, despite being from the country of all things spiritual (India), I was gravitating more towards western tools and practical spirituality.

I was more interested in reading books by skeptical psychologists instead of the mystical gurus. It wasn’t until much later that I enjoyed the works of enlightened masters like Osho and Paramhans Yogananda.

There’s nothing wrong with that of course, that was just the path I wanted to take. In contrast, I’ve had many clients talk to me in Vedantic terminology, and that’s just as beautiful.

At this stage of your spiritual awakening, it’s important to just find what works for you to really help build your spiritual muscles. And until you don’t find it, keep looking!

In ancient Hindu scriptures, the path to enlightenment through knowledge, is called jnana yog, and is one of the four paths explained Patanjali.

When my journey began and I reached this stage, I was feverishly reading book after book. After book. This is exactly why I have dozens of recommendations. Because I became OBSESSED!

How did the obsession with reading taper down? By balancing the Root and Crown Chakras. That’s a topic for another time of course, but if you’re interested to learn how that works, you read this resource.

Stage 4 – Denial & Inner Conflict

I believe that you swing between Stage 3 and Stage 4 for a while. You want to believe in the existence of something beyond this reality. But the ego mind isn’t able to put 2+2 together yet.

Things that aren’t logical can’t be trusted, right?

And what if it’s all just a bunch of confirmation bias?

Also, am I really spiritual? I mean, I’m always so angry and irritable. I’m losing control of myself. Isn’t that the opposite of being spiritual?

And on go your questions. Don’t let these strange experiences disappoint you or prevent you from progressing on the spiritual awakening journey headfirst! It’s absolutely okay to challenge your faith and this new-found wisdom.

Sometimes you let it in and guide you, sometimes you don’t. In this phase of your spiritual awakening, it can feel like you’re walking through a maze, always being met by surprises and never really sure where you’re going.

different stages of a spiritual awakening, spirituality can feel like walking in a maze

It’s mostly the logical aspects, like metaphysics that begin helping you move past the conflict and denial. Here are some solid books that scientifically-back spirituality, if you are seeking more proof to strengthen your faith.

This is also one of the stages of a spiritual awakening where you feel the most overloaded and overwhelmed. The ego-mind fights against all the unfamiliarity as your charter unseen territory with your spiritual knowledge, and you can feel extremely tired. It’s not pleasant, but it is a part of the package.

Related : 5 Tips to Work With the Ego-Mind

Stage 5 – Spiritual Makeover

At some point, you will receive enough signs and divine guidance to know that this isn’t a coincidence anymore. And then, your Spiritual Journey will really kick in.

It’ll be like experiencing a crash course on evolution. Everything happening all at once, being rapidly pushed through a tight tunnel towards a bigger Light.

  • You’ll experience a deep sense of self-awareness arising,
  • The guilt or shock will make you rapidly start re-evaluating and changing behaviors to be in alignment with who you really are,
  • A lot of old preferences and hobbies will shed off, and you’ll gain new interests,
  • You’ll also grow conscious of those around you that are still living on autopilot, and consequently, repel them sometimes,
  • You’ll feel angry and/or sad to see the world as it is,
  • Also, you’ll want to help everyone jump on the spiritual boat but quickly realize that you can’t make other people heal, thus feeling periods of sadness and dejection,
  • You may experience a deeper sense of emotional sensitivity, and find yourself avoiding crowded places to protect your energy.

So on, and so forth. This is perhaps the most visibly revolutionizing stages of a spiritual awakening.

The spiritual community is commonly heard terming the process as a metamorphosis.
a spiritual awakening is like metamorphosis of a butterfly

The journey can truly be seen as though one transforms into a beautiful butterfly, breaking free from the stigmas and old patterns that were holding us back in our cocoon.

Of course, at this point, you’re probably feeling lonelier and distant from people around you, than ever. I know this feeling through-and-through. And so do the dozens of people that help me write this guide.

Trust me, your loved ones might not “get it”, but they do NOT want you to suffer. It took me years to figure that out, and I hope you realize that sooner.

Stage 6 – Spiritual Ego

Well, now that you’ve established you’re spiritual, there’s a subtle sense of pride rising within.

  • You’re rare because you woke up, but not everyone does,
  • You’re better than those that don’t live life consciously,
  • People don’t deserve your attention, ugh!
  • Some people are just so toxic for your divinity,
  • You don’t belong here, you’re actually an old soul that’s just here to help other people,
  • And so on….

You may also experience spiritual bypassing, believing that fear is an illusion and that love and light is all that is, therefore escaping negative emotions or being unwilling to deal with your shadow self.

Shadow, Healing, Inner Transformation, Ego

It happens to all of us. And several times. This isn’t a one-time thing, and there’s nothing to be ashamed of. Like one of my friends in the spiritual writing community says, “it’s difficult not to get cocky sometimes when you’re doing so well”. 🙂

I also remember an incident when a guy on LinkedIn that had the title of a Spiritual Coach was belittling me for not being enlightened. It was amusing to see how neither one of us were, but only one of us could see that!

At such a stage, it helps to practice egoless thinking, and ground yourself with lots of intense shadow work.

Stage 7 – Grounding & Getting Serious

Sooner or later, your first reality check hits you. At that point, you understand that you’ve been goofing around and getting this spiritual stuff all wrong.

So far, the journey was on and off, you weren’t committed. But in this and the upcoming stages of a spiritual awakening, you experience yourself getting into a serious relationship with the Universe and its magic. Some people consider this the mysticism phase.

Here are things that you begin to realize:

  • You are fully accountable for clearing out your karmic debts and taking the plunge towards an enlightened existence;
  • The universe is always helping you attain enlightenment, but it is your choice how fast you want to learn the lessons being taught;
  • No one’s journey is better or worse than the other’s;
  • We are all one, merely here to experience our duality and expand the consciousness of existence;
  • Our key objectives are to heal ourselves and help others heal in their journeys;
  • And so on….
As an attempt to ascend faster, you will thus notice a growing inclination towards certain spiritual healing techniques. In all the stages of a spiritual awakening, this one is perhaps the most exciting!

These could include:

  • Energy work such as reiki or pranic healing,
  • Subconscious healing (hypnotherapy, CBT etc),
  • Body healing (yoga, breathe work, ayurveda, etc)
  • Energy body healing by working on your prana or chi,
  • Healing crystals, stones, sage & essential oils,
  • Past of future based work using tarot cards, astrology, etc.

I want to add a caveat here that the stage requires special attention and balancing oneself. Initially, when you get serious, you may notice yourself getting obsessed with spirituality. If left unchecked though, you may develop spiritual vices.

grounding, strength, tarot, healing, stages of a spiritual awakening

Stage 8 – Coming out of the spiritual closet

It surprisingly takes quite long for most of us to begin openly talking about what’s going on internally, with our loved ones. For most people on the spiritual journey, they feel isolated and build their ‘tribe’ outside their original circle. It becomes easier to share the journey with strangers across the world than the person sitting next door.

I’ve met countless friends through Instagram myself! It is reassuring to know that you’re not alone and that there are many others going through the same wave of change.

forest, friends, relationships, stages of a spiritual awakening, heart chakra, nature, grounding

But eventually, as you experience deeper healing and undergo the transformative phases, you learn how to balance your physical and spiritual realities.

You will find yourself more and more comfortable talking about your interests, whether it is meditation or burning sage. This is also the stage where many spiritual aspirants start stepping away from their daily jobs and having serious thoughts about starting their own holistic health professions.

Understanding this need for a community, I’ve been putting together Our Spiritual Shenanigans for all my clients. I want to make sure genuine seekers around the world have access to powerful tools, consistent support, and friendship. That none of us have to do this thing called spirituality, alone anymore!

Stage 9 – Walking your purpose

When the spiritual journey begins, the initial turmoil and helplessness goes away. But for most people, there’s still a feeling like something is missing. I’ve noticed that as soon as you begin realizing how you will be giving back to the world with your own unique skills, the remainder of the missing dots connect for you.

Like Joseph Campbell shares through the Hero’s Journey, you finally come home to your true purpose to protect, heal and help those that are counting on you. I love this video, and find it fitting for our discussion on the different stages of a spiritual awakening. What do you think?

For me, despite the fact that I’ve been passionate about writing all my life, it took me really long to realize that being a spiritual writer is my purpose.

I used to do this more casually, first writing in school magazines and as a ghostwriter. But once my corporate life really began to feel unfulfilling and like I was wasting my time, it forced me to reevaluate the direction I wanted to take my career.

There was a time when I got electrocuted, and had a reality check. The universe really wanted me to write my own book, and fast!

It took a long time to finally make it happen, but when it did, it was the most natural thing to do. That’s when I finally overcame perfectionism, and published my first work about the power of our Spirit Animals here. You can also download a PDF version below.

From being an anonymous writer on Instagram, to starting this blog, and then to publishing a book, I worked through a lot of self-limiting beliefs.

I worked through a series of self-reflecting questions to arrive at the conclusion, over and over again. I’ve now converted that into a step-by-step guide on how you can gain more clarity about your life purpose too.

Amongst the many stages of a spiritual awakening, this one can bring a momentous shift in your reality. It can also bring a lot of confusion.

Some people might find themselves conflicted and uncertain of what to do in order to step away from the cliche 9 to 5 job, and into their purpose. In contrast, some people find it hard to quit their job despite wanting to.

Again, all this confusion is a part of the process. The only thing that can help you out of this confusion is allowing yourself to be the Universe’s conduit, and show up every day to be of service to the community.

Stage 10 – Mastering Spiritual Lessons

This is where old patterns begin to resurface. It can almost feel like once again, you’re becoming “un-spiritual”, and you might feel like you’ve disconnected from the Universe.

And it’s an unpleasant feeling to have at this stage because as you walk into your purpose, you almost want to feel like a Buddha. Serene, calm, with everything effortlessly under control. But if you look deeper, something magical is happening.

the spiritual journey is like a lotus that surfaces and blossoms in the mud

I loved this beautiful post on Instagram by Joy, which perfectly explains this situation. Quoting her, she says, “if you’re revisiting a challenge [Spiritual lesson] at this time, step back and notice if it feels different. Is the lesson more isolated, focused on a single aspect?”.

Life brings forth the lessons we seemingly overcame a long time ago, but it isn’t to remind us of our failure. It’s to help us clean our act in a deeper, more refined way.

Currently, anger and compassion are two lessons I’m struggling to work on this year. But I’ve got this! And so do you. So just keep going! 🙂

Wait…what about enlightenment?

Maybe this is an unpopular opinion, but I believe that enlightenment isn’t a destination, nor the ‘end goal’ of these stages. It’s a way of being, a state of existence and it comes and goes in between these stages. How?

This journey isn’t about being perfectly happy around the clock of course. But it’s about being able to rise above the nuances and stay in the flow of life. To surrender and have lesser and lesser personal preferences. And as a consequence, you become naturally more joyous.

If you’ve been on the journey for at least a few stages of spiritual awakening, you’ll agree with me on this. Sometimes you experience bliss, feelings of ego-death, and absolute calm. And most of the other times, you’re fighting between the two – ego versus soul.

But the journey is about taking one conscious decision at a time to pick the soul’s subtleness over the ego’s drama.

Concluding Thoughts

The initial stages of a spiritual awakening are somewhat in-order but the latter come and go several times. Especially the spiritual ego, always followed by a reality check, which spiral around each other like yin and yang.

The journey is exciting, strange and mystical. But more importantly, it is unique to your soul’s evolution. So make the most of it. Let yourself shine through and through. And let me know if you need my help, I’m just an email away. 🙂


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10 Stages of a Spiritual Awakening

Ego Versus Intuition : How to Identify the Difference

How can you tell the difference between ego versus intuition? How do you recognize your intuition in tough situations? Here are 3 spiritual insights.

Lately, I’ve noticed a recurring pattern in my spiritual journey of identifying when it’s the ego judging the situation from a limited, 3D lens versus when the intuition is bringing us insight from a higher consciousness. Like myself, for many people that have been left-brained for a majority of their life, even accepting that we have intuition can be tricky for in their spiritual growth.

So, I want to start by putting together some research to help the inner skeptic feel more open to the idea of being intuitive. And then, share the different ways to develop an understanding of when it’s your ego versus when it’s your inner wisdom.

What is INTUITION? And is it even real?

I can best describe intuition as that feeling you follow, like a hunch which guides you to do something, even though you don’t have an understanding of why it’ll work yet. And then, when you do take action, you realize that it worked in your favour. But how could you have known to do that, without your analytical mind having the answers?

I love the image below, as the answer. Your soul knows.

ego versus intuition, your soul knows, inner wisdom

But to be less woo-woo and give this conversation a real spin, is intuition even real, or was this a off-chance coincidence? I mean, can we really know something before it happens? And why can’t we replicate this intuitive experience to be real in all circumstances?

There’s some cutting-edge research beginning to help us appreciate that intuition might not just be a spiritual philosophy, but a scientifically-proven phenomenon happening within our body.

3 Studies Centred in Science That Explore the Evidence of Intuition

You can dig deeper into these experiments if you feel like it. Or if they’re beyond your interest, you’re also welcome to skip to the next section where I share tips to develop your intuition and resolve the conflicts with your ego-mind.

#1 – The HeartMath Institute’s Experiments

There’s an institute dedicated to the workings and miracles of the heart. Of the many experiments they run, they speak highly of the heart’s intelligence, ability to learn and memorize events. They call it the “heart brain“.

And their backing of intuition comes with their interpretation that intuition is “the ability to understand or know something without conscious reasoning”. In that, they call our heart the instrument that conducts these intuitive feats for us!

#2 – Pearson’s Measurement of Intuition

In the experiment, the participants were shown stimuli composed of a cloud of many moving dots, which looked like the noisy “snow” you might see on an old TV. Participants had to report which direction the cloud of dots was moving in, left or right.

“While our subjects were making these decisions, we presented one of their eyes with emotional photographs, then we utilize another technique called continuous flash suppression to render these emotional photographs invisible or unconscious,” Pearson shared.

science experiment for intuition, pearson case study

“So while the subjects were making these sensory decisions, they never knew they were being presented with these emotional photographs.”

The result? Even when people were unaware of the images, they were still able to use information from the images to make more confident and accurate decisions. In other words, there’s an unconscious part of us picking up on things that we consciously may not know of.

#3 – Rollin McCraty’s Electrophysiological evidence

In his research, Rollin used a mix of calm and emotionally triggering images to test the heart and mind’s response in the participants. The studies were surprising, because one, it appeared that the heart is involved in the processing and decoding of intuitive information.

And two, they monitored a significantly greater heart rate deceleration occurred prior to future emotional images compared to calm images. It’s as if to say that the heart has a mind of its own! Here is a two-part study publicly available for anyone that wants to go down that rabbit hole of research.

Is intuition for everyone?

Intuition is NOT something you accidentally have or are a superhero for having. We all have some degree sense of ‘bad vibes’ or ‘gut feeling’. But many of us just need help developing that intuitive muscle because we haven’t learned to flex it yet. But a small caveat before we proceed.

I have heard many people advise that intuition will come from the gut, and you’ll feel neutral, even if it’s a negative intuition. But, to understand if a feeling is coming from the gut or not also requires some level of intuitiveness towards our body.

And honestly, I don’t have that. At least not yet. Especially in a situation where I’m feeling triggered or unsafe, I can hardly remember anything else! And focusing on what my body has to say is more confusing than comforting for me. It’s easier to operate in my headspace than to tune into what my body says.

So what do I do? And what can YOU do to find out if it’s your intuition speaking to you, or your ego? A couple of things.

#1 – Have an Internal Dialogue with the Universe

I’ve learned this the hard way, that I don’t know what’s best for me. And while that leaves my ego feeling attacked, it opens up the possibility that something else can happen to me, now that I’m not trying to plan or control the outcome too much.

When you’re in a fix about how to proceed, ask for Divine Intervention. In the exact moment that you need to make a decision, allow the universe to guide you through a simple and straightforward question in your head.

If you see a sign, great! If you don’t see a sign, remember that’s also a sign.

I’ll explain this further with a few stories from my personal life.

Story #1 – Cafe : To Eat Or Not To Eat?

The huge foodie that I am, it should come as no surprise to anyone that one fine day, I set out to try another new cafe. My sister-in-law picked the spot for us, on a whim. We were very hungry and willing to eat just about anywhere that came at the next turn, as long as the food met our expectations.

cafe, neon boards, spiritual meeting, intuition, ego

As soon as we entered, the cafe triggered a “red-flag” siren within me. I couldn’t understand why, exactly. The lights were dim, but there were a lot of tables occupied. So I asked for a sign.

“Dear universe, if we’re not safe here, please give us a sign to leave”.

Remember how I told you a while back that no sign is also a sign? Well that’s what happened. There was absolutely no sign. I waited for a few minutes even as we got seated. And I let the anxiety settle down in me by reminding myself that the Universe always has my back.

This place turned out to have the best sizzling brownie I have ever had. No jokes! Had I listened to my siren, which proved false in this situation, I would have missed out on some great dessert.

Story #2 – The Time The Universe Asked Me To Shut-up 🙂

This is another story from my time at a cafe. Cafes seem to be important in my life, no guessing why though!

I sat across an excited girl, as she shared her spiritual awakening story with me. It had been quite some time, as I sat quietly and listened to her story. I was trying to be a good listener, but my ego was beginning to grow restless.

white conversations printed mug near smartphone, ego, dialogue, commnication

I didn’t know if I should pitch in, or just keep nodding. But the moment I decided to say something, I noticed the projector flash behind her. The song had changed, and it was called “quiet”.

I was grinning ear to ear, now, and I bit my tongue, doing as told to by the Universe. She saw that my mood had changed. I told her what had happened, and we both were amused at this beautiful synchronicity!

Story #3 – The Time I ALMOST Went To Vancouver

If anyone knows me well enough, they’ll know that my shifting to Canada has been the longest and slowest process. It’s uncanny, how fast our wedding happened and ironically how slow our actual married life took to begin.

So this is the story of when my visa came and I had 4 days left before my flight. We were all in a flux.

“Should I go, will it be safe?” The virus scare had been rising in India.

flight, ego versus intuition

But I realized something – my intuition wasn’t saying anything to me. Nor was my ego. While there was ambiguity all around, there was silence within. So I did what I do best. I surrendered, with a practical prayer.

“Dear Universe, I have no idea if I’m supposed to go or not. So you do something that makes it clear. Very clear.”

The next morning, I woke up to the news that airways amongst all other transport had been put under lockdown. And bam! There was clarity. While this was a tough call for me to take, I consider it a blessing that the Universe showed up for me with such a grand gesture.

#2 – Separate Ego From Self-Esteem

Have you had the rush of energy to do something negative in your life, like

  • reveal a deep dark secret that could shake someone’s life,
  • say something nasty during a fight that is ‘crossing the line’
  • give empty breakup threats when you’re mad at your partner
  • and so on?

Well, as much as we want to believe it’s our intuition or self-esteem guiding us, it’s really our ego.

I always say this, that the ego loves drama and the soul loves simplicity.
ego versus intuition, breakup, heartbreak

So right before you do something controversial, here are two things worth thinking about:

One, will this satisfy my ego and give me a ‘high’, or is this actually necessary for my growth?

Two, is this an attempt to put somebody else’s ego down or create drama?

You’d think that it’s okay to make someone feel worse because they hurt you, but you may want to think a hundred times before you try to even the score.

It can be tricky because your ego will say “no, that’s not what’s happening”. So let me step back and say that if you even feel like asking these questions then there’s a large possibility you’re operating from a place of ego.

In such cases, let that moment pass. And remember, you can always have this conversation again, in a more detached yet compassionate way. Don’t let yourself get caught in the ego trap, thinking it’s about self-esteem or that you have the right to hurl nasty comments on someone’s character because you’re triggered.

You’ll also find it helpful to reflect on these questions to work towards building a healthier ego structure and raising your self-awareness.

#3 – Seperate Trauma from Intuition

When you surrender and let Divine Intervention lead your way, you can then realize that many of the false alarms are your wounds and traumas.

Of course, it can take some getting used to because we might not be aware of how the Universe is talking to us. If this idea of surrender is new to you, and you’re curious about how the Universe guides us, you can explore these list of signs of divine guidance.

For me, through surrender, here were the pain points I discovered.

In the first story I mentioned above, I was scared and uncomfortable because most of the tables were occupied by groups of men drinking alcohol and laughing out loud. My subconscious was wired to think the worst of such situations, but I never realized it until that day.

woman kneeling with arms folded over chest inside dim-lit room, pain, trauma, healing

In the third story, when I was trying to interrupt the girl with my own insights, I was really just trying to validate my experience and become preachy. This is an old subconscious behaviour which resurfaced in that moment, but wasn’t able to make space in reality, thanks to divine intervention.

So as you begin healing these false hits, your intuition naturally becomes stronger and you’re able to create more space between intuition and ego.

Concluding Thoughts

I know the word ‘intuition’ can sound woowoo to most of us, because we’re so habitual of being logical and practical in day-to-day decisions.

But the moment we start acknowledging how little we really know about anything, and that there’s much more happening behind the scenes than we can even fathom, we open our crown chakra. And an abundance of wisdom and guidance showers on us!

This journey is a fine thing, learning how to work with the universe and speed up our healing. So when we say unlearn old ways, it’s really just saying stop living in the ego, and start moving into your intuition. 🙂


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Masculine and Feminine Energy Balance : How to Find True Inner Union

Why is it important to balance the feminine and masculine energy for true inner union? What are signs of imbalance? How can we balance the ida and pingala?

It’s interesting to explore the many dimensions and modalities that can help you become self-aware. Learning about your masculine and feminine energy can be a significant step towards inner union. This post is dedicated to helping you understand how.

And a side note to all my Arabic-readers: you can now read the Arabic translation of this article on the Mirdad website. Grateful to my sweet subscriber, Nada for initiating this!

Now, you must be wondering, if you’re a guy, you must be masculine energy? Or if you’re a girl, you would be feminine? WRONG!

An Introduction To The Masculine & Feminine Energy

Let’s get the first misconception out of the way.

We ALL have feminine AND masculine energy within us. It is not limited to one’s appearance or gender.

There can, ofcourse, be degrees of masculinity and femininity, which determine our behavior on a day-to-day basis. For example:

  • Enjoying giving gifts versus receiving gifts,
  • Being able to multitask versus being focused and single-pointed,
  • Being emotional versus being logical,
  • Leading projects and pursuing people, versus being lead or pursued,
  • Doing versus being,
  • And so on.

Were you able to notice some of these qualities in both the men and women of your life? And within yourself as well, you may notice a unique mix!

Ofcourse, you’re not necessarily always the same way. Different situations bring out different aspects of your individuality. Therefore, throughout life, you experience the yin-yang nature of energies.

Yin And Yang, Fire, Water, Hand, masculine and feminine energy

It’s also important to understand that if you identify as a masculine woman or feminine man, it’s not a sign of weakness. Nor something to be ashamed of. It is infact, very natural and has much deeper roots!

This is your soul’s preference that has evolved over many lifetimes. And, speaking of lifetimes, let’s now address the metaphysical nature of these energies.

The Metaphysics of the Dual Energy Types

It recently dawned upon me, that our relationship with the universe is also in perfect yin-yang harmony. How?

When we surrender, we act as the feminine energy and allow the universe to take control as the masculine. This is what we call allowing Divine Intervention into our lives.

But for most of us, most of the time, we live as masculine energy. We actively try to make life work our way. At such times, the Universe is receptive and flowing through the course of our actions. Thus, allowing us to be co-creators and thus itself being the feminine in this dynamic. And at that time, we are also enjoying our free will.

Thus, perfect harmony. Mystical, isn’t it?!

What Ancient Science Say About Duality

The Hindu mythology talks about Ardhnarishwar, half man and half woman. This Divine Being embodied both energies, and then was split in half to begin life on Earth. The split happened forming the first man, Shiva and first woman, Shakti, as we worship them today.

MahaShivratri 2019 : Ardhnarishwar Temples in India - PenPaperHeart, masculine and feminine energy
Image courtesy : PenPaperHeart

Which is why the world says opposites attract. We’re attracting the polarity in every person, trying to feel whole through their presence in our life. And we spend most of this life collecting the missing aspects from our energy.

It is also said that the masculine and feminine energies reside in two of our 72,000 energy channels. These two channels are called Ida and Pingala.

They originate from your second chakra, the Sacral Energy Center. And they are the source of your experience of the duality of life. Then, they diverge and spiral up your Chakra System, finally meeting again at the Third Eye Chakra.

When we work on harmonizing these polarities, we experience our Kundalini energy rising through the Sushumna. This is the straight path enmeshed between Ida and Pingala, connecting straight up through the chakras.

The Sushumna also meets the two energies at the Third Eye Chakra.

Thus, Kundalini Energy can simply be explained as Shakti, the energy at the root of existence rising to meet Shiva, at the crown of oneness. Ultimately becoming everything and then, nothing.

And, when we talk about inner union, we embody Ardhnarishwar. Here, our left half is the feminine and right is the masculine energy.

What Modern Science Says About Duality

Through books like Journey of Souls, we get another glimpse of the complexity of the human-soul design. Dr Michael uncovered countless metaphysical insights through thousands of afterlife regression sessions.

Candle, Guy, Young, Man, Male, Adult

Some of my key findings around our duality and polar energies are:

  • Souls do not have a gender, but merely pick a body type and play out the role. The more frequently they embody a certain role, the better they get at it.
  • So, over time, each soul develops a preference to be born with a certain biological gender. They can even plan out their lives according to such preferences. Dr Michael claims that we roughly pick the same gender 70% of the time.
  • When souls incarnate in the opposite gender, they can find it challenging to act as such. This is often seen as a difficult lifetime, but one that brings deeper evolution.

Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus is another fantastic introspection into our differing needs, and how we can better understand our partners of the opposite polarity. There were many spiritual key takeaways from this book, something which I’m saving for another post. So stay tuned! *wink*

Why Is It Important to Balance the Masculine and Feminine Energy?

Our ultimate goal for self-awareness, is in realizing that we already ARE everything we need. But the number one obstacle we face, which prevents us from knowing this truth, is being driven by our human desire to have a partner to fulfill us.

No, I’m not saying you shouldn’t get married. You absolutely should if that’s your heart’s desire. But we need to understand the essence of partnership beyond self-gratification, having sex or making babies.

Wedding Rings, Engagement Rings, Marriage, Union, Divine Relationships

Subconsciously, we expect that attracting the person of an opposite energy type will give us the feeling of fulfillment.

But by balancing your ida and pingala, you begin internalizing and embodying EVERY human trait. You no longer limit yourself to a gender or societal role.

If you’re not seeking fulfilment outwards, you are able to show up in relationships as a happy, healthy and detached yet loving person.

When you are self-sufficient, you stop craving relationships to complete you. You are no longer a ‘half’.
And nothing is ‘missing’ in you.
This is a significant aspect of inner union.

Can you imagine the divinity that unfolds from such relationships where there’s no insecurity, neediness nor attachment? Such relationships can shift the reality for everyone around them, and be of true service to the world.

In order to be such a couple, you must begin with yourself. Begin by going within. Evaluate your duality, and bridge your gaps, to level out the imbalance. How? Read on!

Masculine Energy

Masculine Energy, Man On Round Blue Floral Mat

Key Characteristics

The Divine Masculine energy embodies the following key traits:

  • Active, alert and contributing to the moment,
  • Takes initiative, likes to lead, pursue and bring changes,
  • Feeling confident and secure in oneself, willing to take risks,
  • Well-groomed, disciplined and able to manage things well,
  • Bold and courageous, able to take charge in situations.

Signs of Imbalance

Your masculine energy is wounded, if you experience any of these signs:

  • Pushy, cold-hearted or dominating,
  • Relationships are transactional and logic based,
  • Low self-esteem and lack of confidence,
  • Scared, feeling unsafe in the world, aloof,
  • Confused, all over the place, lacking clarity,
  • Procrastinating, afraid to take action.

5 Ways to Consciously Balance the Masculine Energy

#1 – Become comfortable in your own skin.

For me, knowing that there’s no such thing as “right” or “wrong” helped me grow confident in my decisions. And once I started valuing my uniqueness and equally unique thought-process, it helped build my self-esteem.

Self-esteem, confidence, self-love, joy, happiness, jump, excited, photography, bridge

#2 – Balance your chakras.

I love how interrelated the two modalities have been in my journey. I enjoy flowing between the two, in my explanation of self-healing tools. For the masculine energy, based on the signs we discussed above, there are two chakras that stand out.

One is the Solar Plexus, which fuels our sense of self, and helps us take inspired actions. If your solar plexus isn’t in balance, you’re going to procrastinate.

And second, is the Heart Chakra. It allows your relationships to stop being too transactional, and brings back that human touch people crave from you. This chakra helps heal both aspects of our energy, and is therefore a quick fix! Well, atleast relatively speaking. 🙂

#3 – Be more accountable and take ownership for life.

When you’re wounded, you want to feel sorry for yourself and throw a pity-party. And it becomes convenient by shift the blame to an external factor. It could be someone or something’s fault that you’re hurt. But if you want to be empowered, lead your life (and guide others), it’s important to become accountable.

Man Wearing Gray Top Fixing Red Necktie

Accountable for your reaction, for your actions and choices, and for the way you are experiencing life as a consequence.

A few examples could be:

  • If a plan to meet friends didn’t work out, be proactive and create a new plan,
  • When you’ve had an argument, be the first one to clean the air and disperse the tension,
  • If you’re often considered irresponsible, or laid-back, start taking up more responsibility,
  • When you’re having a bad day, don’t use other people as a punching bag. Instead sit down with yourself, process the feelings and switch up the mood.

#4 – Develop your discipline.

Maybe you have a tough time continuing a new habit after the motivation fizzles out. You need to realize that motivation is for starting something, but it takes discipline to keep going.

Personally, I recommend reading the book Atomic Habits by James Clear. This book single-handedly taught me how to become more structured in my day-to-day habits.

#5 – Tune into your emotions.

The masculine energy doesn’t know how to process emotions because it’s about agility and “what-next”. So if you have a tough time being empathetic towards others, or expressing your emotions, try:

  • Journaling how different events from the day or past made you feel,
  • Have conversations where you are NOT giving advice, but simply listening,
  • Be open and vulnerable, sharing a little more than you allow yourself to,
  • Write letters and express your love and gratitude to people.

Feminine Energy

two women bending while holding hands, feminine energy

Key Characteristics

The Divine Feminine energy embodies the following characteristics:

  • Soft, nurturing and gentle,
  • In tune with physical body and emotions,
  • Willingness to receive love, to be led, and to be pursued,
  • Expressive and non-judgmental to listen to others problems to,
  • Graceful, easy-going and able to surrender,
  • Secure in oneself and able to love generously (open Heart Chakra).

Signs of Imbalance

Your feminine energy is wounded, if you experience any of these signs:

  • Over-giving and overcompensating in relationships (people-pleasing),
  • Dogmatic, self-opinionated, unable to accept change,
  • Overly active and unable to just ‘be’,
  • Heavily identified with own emotions and as a consequence getting carried away by them,
  • Neediness and self-doubt, demanding love because you feel unworthy,
  • Jealous of what another gets, not believing you’re worthy of receiving,

5 Ways to Consciously Balance the Feminine Energy

#1 – Enjoy the act of surrendering and receiving.

For some people, it’s just too hard to let anyone else plan for the vacation.
Or to be on the receiving end of a gift.
Or to be ‘unproductive’.

If any of that sound like you, you now know why! You’re all about the doing, and need to learn to BE. Otherwise, you might experience physical symptoms of fatigue, and mental exhaustion.

Caveat: A wounded masculine does NOT mean you’re being feminine in your energy. Or vice versa. Procrastination isn’t the same as surrendering, for instance.

trust, surrender, let go, free yourself

The universe has its ways. If you haven’t experienced a miracle yet, it’s because you haven’t surrendered. The energy of surrendering means we are willing to receive what’s in store for us. And we aren’t going to micromanage as it happens!

How can you begin to surrender? In your day-to-day activities. Here’s a full list of practical tips to help you learn to let the control go.

#2 – Stop conforming.

Feminine energy is at its highest when it’s easy flowing. And therefore it shouldn’t be boxed or caged, but rather constantly in motion, constantly expanding. Constantly exploring oneself. What are some ways to unbox your feminine energy?

  • Wear looser, flowing clothes, like dresses. Or clothes that represent nature, with florals and bright colors.
  • Move more, be less rigid.
  • Don’t be shy to try new things, to do the unthinkable.

#3 – Give birth.

It doesn’t have to be a human child, it can be your brain’s child. A project, an idea, a recipe, a piece of art…. Anything that harnesses your creative energy and helps you express yourself is helping you tap into the divine feminine.

Workshop, Instrument, Wood, Craftsman, Creative Energy, Talented

#4 – Be in more tune with your body.

Are you often living in your head, daydreaming? Not only is that a sign of a blocked root chakra, it’s indicative of a lacking feminine energy. So what can you do? You ground yourself!

  • Every morning, ask yourself how you’re feeling, and run a mental scan over your body to see how it feels.
  • Physical activities like yoga, running and dancing are great too.
  • Be more aware of your physical senses. Practice grounding techniques to help you.
  • Pay more attention to your physical appearance. In today’s day and age, the best example is a blog like this. Sure, it can have great content but would you still read it if it weren’t presentable? How you look is an extension of who you are, so don’t undermine how you show up in the world.

#5 – Claim your space.

Being intune with feelings, with emotions and the body is what will help you figure out your own needs. And then, you need to claim your space in the universe.

Woman Kneeling on Shoreline, self-love

Here’s how:

  • Be yourself, your absolute authentic and unapologetic self,
  • Be more vulnerable and allow your good AND bad to be expressed without trying to ‘look good’,
  • Stop people-pleasing and being a doormat,
  • Set up healthier relationships boundaries where you can continue practicing being yourself.

General Tip

And another simple way to create inner balance is by identifying opposite energies around you, that you look upto.

It could be the values in your partner, a friend, or your parents. As you observe them, begin embodying their traits consciously.

Go Deeper Into Balancing Your Energies

Though I’m a female, my default energy type is that of the masculine. In the early stages of my awakening, I noticed that in uncomfortable situations, I would pick masculinity as a response. What’s your default?

Like that, there are a number of other self-reflecting questions in this healing space that you can delve into, such as –

  • Why am I more comfortable being one energy type over the other?
  • Do I have shame or fear held in my body towards the opposite energy?
  • What stereotypes can I let go of that will help me embrace my masculine and feminine energy wholeheartedly?

Having worked on this space intensely myself, I share my tools and experiences in one-on-one coaching. You’re welcome to get in touch!

I’ve also done an interview recently, answering more questions about the feminine and masculine energies, here. Do explore that as well 🙂

Concluding Thoughts

Isn’t it beautiful that the two aspects of gender are actually a complex blend within each of us! Then why the stereotypes?

Here, we discuss a very brief, foundation-setting introduction to the masculine and feminine energy. However, as you work inwards, deeper and deeper, you will realize many other wounds open up. And you can continue healing them through your conscious efforts.

All leading to the inner union we so dearly seek. 🙂


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