Will Marriage Impact Your Spiritual Growth? Read this.

Should you get married if you are on the spiritual path? What is the role of marriage in our spiritual journey? Is it necessary to have a partner?

It is a widespread (thankfully, now corrected) notion that spirituality equals renouncing everything and becoming a monk. Should someone who’s trying to transcend the world still buy Nike shoes and go on expensive dinners? Is it okay for spiritual people to devote time to their marriage?

Truth is, spirituality isn’t about resisting your life, it’s about transcending it.

How? Let’s look at a simple example – eating chips or popcorn. Most of us grab a handful and stuff our faces with the crispy goodness, not even chewing properly. Now, if you were to look at a video of yourself eating popcorn at the movies, you might be taken aback and cringe.

Popcorn, Binge, Movie, Eat, Overeat

Conscious living is pretty much that – watching yourself like a movie, as often as you can. The behaviors you don’t like, when you see with your own eyes, will reduce and eventually stop or transform into something better.

The desires you have, the materialism you seek must also be transcended – at your own pace.

What about marriage – can we transcend our life with a partner by our side?

With the Mirror Technique, we can.

Self-awareness would not have been possible, and we would not be able to see our true nature, had it not been for others around us. We are able to reflect on our behavior, our mistakes, our grudges and resentments only because people give us that opportunity.

Yes, loving relations are the sign of a healthy and happy life, but they are not available to all of us, for the simple fact that we are yet to apply the mirror technique.

The mirror technique simply means, stop seeing the other person’s actions and instead start seeing your reactions. What arises within you whenever they act?

Anger?
Jealousy?
Insecurity?

In this way, you can use every interaction with another person as an opportunity to meet yourself with greater depth.
Hands, Love, Couple, Together, Fingers, Argue, Marriage, Relationship

And that’s when real healing begins.

How can you know your ability to forgive if someone doesn’t hurt you?

How can you overcome your jealousy if you didn’t even experience it, if you didn’t share that kind of intimacy in the first place?

Resistance is delaying, preventing yourself from experiencing the darkest side of your being. And just like music – the deeper you can sing on the scale, the higher you’ll be able to hit on the octave too – so is life. You cannot know your light, until you face your darkness.

And what better a way, than with a partner who you’ve committed to live with, till death do you part?

If you don’t believe me, Justin Timberlake has written an entire song about it to explain this! Check it out.

Twin Flames, Justin Timberlake, Mirror, Song
Image Source : iMDB

This person will push your buttons at every step of the way – right from conflicts over room temperatures and changing baby diapers at midnight, to who-said-what’s and then some…

As a matter of fact, they will really help you apply all kinds of spiritual techniques.

Thanks to all the ups and downs, you’ll remember God a lot more. I mean how often do you remember God when life’s smooth?

You’ll learn to surrender when your partner is stubborn.

You’ll learn the art of forgiveness and to let go of your resentment when your partner messes up.

You’ll learn to co-create and co-habitat, gracefully mastering detachment whilst remaining compassionate, thus overriding your ego.

And you’ll learn the truest form of unconditional love and devotion when you fall in love with your partner and children, each time in a greater capacity.

Sunset, Family, Game, Silhouette, Set, Marriage, Happy, Love

Another Spiritual Angle for Marriage

To understand this better, let me quote Sadhguru as he explains in his mystical book, Adiyogi.

There was a difference between her [Parvati] and the sages; she was in love with him [Shiva] and the sages were in love with what he had [mastery over Self]. Because of her level of perception and receptivity, Shiva took her directly to the peak of attainment [Enlightenment through love].

Whether we go hunting for Enlightenment in a cave, or in the solitude of a room at home, the end-goal is attainable. Because it isn’t the outside dynamics that matter; it all comes down to one thing – the inner thirst for this quest.

Of course, to each their own. But the kind of lives we’ve signed up for don’t exactly permit the kind of extremism anymore, which sages and monks once practiced.

We’ve got to find our peace here, and now.

Couple, Like, Cute, Happy, Follow, Bride, Marriage
Balancing marriage whilst on a spiritual pursuit is like a double ‘challenge accepted’.

It’s about balancing the hermit and the materialistic sides in you. And at the same time, it’s the best of both worlds. 🙂

Image Courtesy : pixabay.com, shutterstock.com

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Should you get married if you're on the spiritual path?

Why Is Detachment Extremely Difficult in Relationships?

What is detachment? If it is so important for spiritual growth, why is it so difficult? And are you detached or just indifferent? Read this!

You and I get to hear the idea of detachment a lot more now, as it becomes mainstream in the spiritual community. But let’s address why it’s so difficult to detach ourselves.

The opposite of detachment is attached – most of us are very attached to our loved ones. But is there something wrong with that? There isn’t, until there is.

Attachment makes us go to strange lengths.
If the other person is mad at us, we become flustered and try to fix this.
If the other person is no longer in our life, we pine and make our life miserable.

We mistake our attachment for love. But the truth is, love and respect are not attachment. Attachment is attachment, in a relationship.

But is it even possible to be detached and still love somebody? Yes.

I realized this in the strangest way, through a stranger.

I used to be the person who loved too much. But over the years, I noticed myself distancing and no longer seeking love outwards. This was a good thing, but a recent incident made me see another angle to it.

One Sunday morning, at around 5 AM, I heard a girl yelling and crying down the street, “don’t leave me Mike, please! Don’t leave me”.

sad woman, crying, angry, hurt, detachment, indifference

I was startled awake, and my first response was a grumpy “really?”

As the yelling continued, other thoughts flowed in.

Should I call the cops on her for creating a menace at 5 AM? What if she’s suicidal? And then…I hope the angels are protecting her.

As soon as I wished that for her, an image of the spiritual realm watching over her came in front of me. And for some reason, after crying for another minute or so, the girl left.

Prayer was not my first response, but it did teach me something new.

My “really?” moment might have boosted my ego, to think I’m so detached because I’m unaffected by this situation. But really, it was me closing my heart from a bigger fear that I shared with this stranger.

I didn’t want to be left either. And I couldn’t bear the thought, so I began to judge her for how she was handling this.

While she was down in the streets crying, I was in my ego, telling myself things like “I don’t need that person, why is she crying over someone who left her“.

She was vulnerable, perhaps too attached. But I wasn’t detached, I was simply acting indifferent.

Thus, detachment isn’t about not feeling pain. It is about being compassionate in the moment of pain, but not identifying with it.

I finally opened my heart, and allowed myself to experience the fear of being left. It was terrifying. But without resisting, I let the pain pass through.

But you may be at the opposite end of the spectrum. You might have a heart so open, you soak up the emotions that arise from attachment and become an emotional sponge! Let’s address that now.


Understanding Detachment Through The Attachment Lens

One day, in conversation with a friend, it felt as if a rush of answers came in the newest way, bringing clarity to the topic like never before for the both of us. I’m sharing the conversation as is, because the dialogue may make this more relatable.

The exchange about detachment went as follows.

But now going back [to favorite place] kind of changed things too.

Which made me question my decision to go back in the first place.
Like, should we just leave good memories pristine and untouched?

Because trying to live them again by going back only sort of tarnished it for me, as I saw everything having changed and worsened.

I think we go back because we want to relive the good times and we associate that place with good times.

So going is essential if you’re SO attached, so that you can release that attachment and keep it only as a memory.
All the while knowing happiness is an inside job. Not place-bound. 

For me, [my favorite place] brought that same realization. It was special while I was there, not after I left.

So I guess I relinquished that attachment once I returned from this trip. Which I felt is a bad thing as it’s not as special to me anymore.

Well, essentially, nothing IS special, nor should be. It’s just a means for us to experience ourselves.
Whether through a place or a relationship.

What remains special to you, is attachment.

And thus we need to experience it fully, without clouded vision to be able to detach.
Usually going back to a person, or place, helps see clearly.
Free from that Illusion.

I think I’m so unwilling to detach because having those intense feelings for something makes me feel more human? As if I’ve experienced something worthy?

Isn’t that why we all are not willing to detach? We want something to cling to while we’re here.

Detachment doesn’t invalidate your experience though.
We cling if we want to be here.
We let go if we understand we’re not meant to be here forever.

I read yesterday.. someone said..
“There’s a difference between being grateful and glad.”

So I guess the idea is to always remain grateful, even if you can’t always be glad about an experience.

It’s shifting your anchor from down here on Earth, to up there, into the universe.

I understand that.

But even people who don’t, why do you think they don’t give up attachments easily? As in, not even intentionally.

For the very reason that their anchor is on Earth.
They are too identified with their human nature to realize there’s nothing to cling on to.

The more you understand, the quicker you start to remember the truth. And start to practice it. 

Every time you see a situation that makes you cling, you are able to think from the bigger picture.

So the reason I didn’t want to let go [of favorite place], is that I made it part of my identity?

Yes.

You are limiting yourself, by saying it was the source of your happiness. Your source is inside you, that place only helped you realize it.

But instead, you started seeing that place as the Source itself, and ached to go back, instead of finding it in yourself again.

End.

Though the conversation was with regard to emotional attachment towards a place, this is true for people too.

Our inability to part ways or mellow-down in relationships, stems from the fact that we start seeing them as the Source of our happiness.

But speaking spiritually, our happiness comes from the Universe. And the more we cling, attach, lean on this Universe, our true Source, the easier detachment becomes.

Hope this gave you the AHA-moment it gave us. 🙂


Concluding Thoughts

Many traits are associated with detachment, and tips are given to achieve this way of being.

But the core essence of detachment can be understood as not depending on the other person for our source of joy; and in moments of suffering, seeing another’s pain with an open heart, without letting it get to us.

The more we understand the difference between detachment and indifference, the more we can retain our humanitarian aspect whilst walking towards our true self.

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Spiritual Awakening: My Strange Story Of How I Was Shaken ‘Awake’

11:11 on the clock. That’s where my spiritual awakening came into full swing! Here’s the story of what happened next.

11:11 on the clock. That’s how my spiritual awakening came into full swing!

I’d always heard my American friends call it a lucky number, saying “make a wish!”. It was that very day, 27th April 2017, when I’d seen the number and wondered if the Universe’s Wishing Foundation was really a thing. Or if we were just talking Santa for adults?

Giving it no longer than a moment’s thought, I shrugged it off.

11:11 Once Again

A while later, I had time to spare. So, aimlessly browsing through a website about human psychology and relations, for no specific reason, I found a blog that talked about God’s plan.

And again for no exact reason, I scrolled down and came across a comment from someone talking about ‘Twin Flames’. The anonymous person described it in a way that made me curious, but I got back to work and forgot about this too, just as quickly.

By night, the phrase Twin Flames was spinning in my head, I couldn’t get it out. So finally, I looked it up and the very first article I saw was from a website which had 1111 in its URL. I had goosebumps!

This would be my first encounter with ‘Divine Guidance’.

What I was reading was so unusual and weird at the time, I was skeptical. As my conflicted thoughts began to grow, I decided to end my browsing for the night. And there, on the clock, once again, was 11:11! Staring back at a dumbstruck me. It was a full circle.

Lying down with my eyes closed and heart palpating wildly with the possibility of this not being a coincidence, I remember feeling my forehead tickle and tingle.

And then seeing a beautiful pinkish-purple flower with countless petals just spinning majestically in my mind’s eye before I blacked-out into a deep sleep. I also share more from that night, in the video below. I hope you enjoy my narrative!

This is the story of the day I was pulled into the unbelievable world of Signs, Synchronicities, Angel Numbers, Healing, Meditation, and more. You’re either a believer here or a skeptic. Within the span of a year, I’ve moved from the latter (extremist) to the former (extremist, once again).

Let’s start with the phrase Spiritual Awakening. What does it mean?

To me, this was waking up to a few realizations:

  • One, out of nowhere, a higher intelligence had gathered keen interest in my life and was guiding me. I couldn’t see or hear anyone, but the power was inspiring my thoughts in some way, for sure! Whenever I listened to the guidance, I would see an undeniable ‘affirmation’. Or what we casually call a sign, an omen.
  • Two, 11:11 is a real thing after all. If you’re seeing it too – welcome home! To day at the very least, the Universe is letting you know through these repeating numbers, called Angel Numbers, that your life’s going to transform magnificently very soon.
  • Three, it’s not easy to talk about it. We are Spiritual Beings living a Human Experience, but the kind of amnesia we’ve been put under has made us extreme skeptics. Nevertheless, by sharing my own experiences, I hope to put forward a strong case over time on why this stuff is more real than you’d like to believe.
  • And four, you can’t undo this. It becomes a part of you. You will be happier, the sooner you learn to integrate your two contradictory worlds into one. By writing this blog, that’s exactly what I’m trying to do for myself too.

Why did I have a Spiritual Awakening? Can it happen to you, too?

I asked for it, and yes, you can experience this too.

How it comes to you will be unique to you, but holding the desire for a Spiritual journey is in itself an invitation to begin this journey. Wait and watch – it shall unfold beautifully in due time!

Learning about twin flames and experiencing these synchronicities led me onto the spiritual path through balancing my masculine and feminine energy. Eventually, it led to much deeper healing and my exploration through other modalities.

But even if I didn’t know what to ask for, I was energetically asking for help in the way I knew how to. At that point, I had lost direction in my life and I was miserable within. I craved for answers.

Unsatisfied at work, unsatisfied with relations, no matter how hard I tried, no matter how much I engaged myself in fitness, learning new things or meeting new people, I felt like something was eating up my mind. I just wasn’t at peace. I tried gratitude writing and I tried walking in nature – all temporary fixes.

sad, lonely, dark night of the soul

Something was very off, and I didn’t know what. What psychology might classify as depression, is spiritually called the ‘Dark Night of the Soul’. It was time for a change.

So I asked for it – I asked the Universe what the point of my life was. And surely, it humbled me with answers, directed to me overtime with utmost subtlety and conviction.

Note that depression isn’t to be taken lightly, or that spiritual practices are the only solution to dealing with it. When our body and mind are out of alignment, it can take twice the energy to walk this path. So, whatever modern intervention helps, take it.

But just know that there is something higher in it too. And if you can reach out to it, it will transform your life.

Did this ‘Spiritual Awakening’ make things any better?

While there were some drastic, odd, and strange changes that caught me off-guard and overwhelmed me at times, there was also a lot that became better in my life.

meditation, spiritual awakening, conscious living

A major difference I saw was not just an improvement in mental health and a rising hope for a direction in life, but my physical health and overall reality began to change, too. Here’s how :

I shed a LOT of weight. I went down 2 whole points on the BMI scale.

My diet preferences changed. For the first few months, my body repelled oily or heavy foods. Most of my diet became fruit-and-salad-based. Overtime this normalized, of course, but that shift gave a huge boost to my health.

Over the years I’ve experienced many dietary changes, from repelling eggs to rejecting caffeine. As they say, your body slowly begins to prepare you for deeper levels of healing.

I became conscious.

Most of my life, I had been living on autopilot from one day to the other. I wouldn’t say that I am fully conscious! I have this short, silly and sweet story for you to remind you how deeply on autopilot we are at times.

But now, after the spiritual awakening, I have a deeper sense of awareness. For instance, I am not just annoyed or just happy.

I am also growing aware of what that emotion looks like in my body, what responses it triggers, and how to extract wisdom from it. I’ve curated a digital workbook for anyone that’s learning to strengthen their emotional awareness.

This means everything around me has become more real than ever. Which means that what no longer serves me in thought or action, is rapidly going out of the window and way into my past.

My energy levels started fluctuating tremendously when I was around people.

For a couple of years to follow, there were days when I would feel like I was living worth 5 days at a time! And on others, I would be so tired I’d simply stay in and sleep.

Energy is a crazy thing and just like most of the spiritual workers out there, I’m still figuring out how to deal with it. It did finally make sense why I’m an emotional sponge, and how to stop soaking up other people’s energy.

My psychic senses began to clear up.

(Wait, what? Well, this escalated quickly!)

By psychic senses, let me help you understand at a very high-level the ones I’ve developed personally:

#1 – Clairsentience

A heightened awareness of other people’s sentiments, even if they’re not aware themselves. This is basically what we call being (really) good at empathy.

#2 – Clairvoyance

In other words, having visions about an event in the future that later manifests. This happens to me during meditations and some of my dreams, and no – I can’t tell you what your future is.

Clairvoyance for me means seeing bits and pieces of important events that are coming up for me in my journey, thus guiding me to prepare better for them.

#3 – Intuitiveness

When you begin trusting this Higher State’s guidance, you notice that you are more in tune with it.

You can trust your ‘gut-feeling’ a lot more now, and you don’t need to worry about why you feel something so strongly. You just obey. If you’re trying to develop that and fight off the ego, I’d recommend reading this post.

#4 – Telepathy

Of course not at every moment, and not very extensively, because that would drive me (or anyone) crazy. But it is rapidly becoming easier to catch hold of a person’s thought just a second before they say it out loud.

The funny thing is, I am not necessarily close to that person. As long as I’m in a clear state of mind, these telepathic moments keep coming to me.

Read More : Is Telepathy Real?

These were the initial changes, of course. Overtime, there has been a lot more that’s shifted in my life!

Concluding Thoughts

Essentially, my Spiritual Awakening has opened the gates of communication with the Universe. And that’s why I like to say “the Universe talks to me, and I’d be a fool not to listen”.

I’ve touched very briefly about a lot of things above, and there’s yet a lot more to come. It’s been four years and I’m still peeling layers, and finding newer insights in this journey.


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