This year, I’ve seen a recurring pattern to talk about identifying ego versus intuition. Of the many questions I get asked, I laugh everytime I hear this one because I don’t consider myself intuitive, as such. But I have found a workaround, and it works well for me.
But a small caveat before we proceed. I have heard many people advise that intuition will come from the gut, and you’ll feel neutral, even if it’s a negative intuition.
But, to understand if a feeling is coming from the gut or not also requires some level of intuitiveness towards our body.
And honestly, I don’t have that. Atleast not yet. Especially in a situation where I’m feeling triggered or unsafe, I can hardly remember anything else, and focusing on what my body has to say is more confusing than comforting for me.
So what do I do? And what can YOU do to find out if it’s your intuition speaking to you, or your ego? A couple of things.
#1 – Have an Internal Dialogue with the Universe
I’ve learned this the hard way, that I don’t know what’s best for me. And while that leaves my ego feeling attacked, it opens up the possibility that something else can happen to me, now that I’m not trying to plan or control the outcome too much.
When you’re in a fix about how to proceed, ask for Divine Intervention. In the exact moment that you need to make a decision, allow the universe to guide you through a simple and straight forward question in your head.
If you see a sign, great! If you don’t see a sign, remember that’s also a sign.
I’ll explain this further with a few stories from my personal life.
Story #1 – Cafe : To Eat Or Not To Eat?
The huge foodie that I am, it should come as no surprise to anyone that once fine day, I set out to try another new cafe. My sister-in-law picked the spot for us, on a whim. We were very hungry and willing to eat just about anywhere that came at the next turn, as long as the food met our expectations.
As soon as we entered, the cafe triggered a “red-flag” siren within me. I couldn’t understand why, exactly. The lights were dim, but there were a lot of tables occupied. So I asked for a sign.
“Dear universe, if we’re not safe here, please give us a sign to leave”.
Remember how I told you a while back that no sign is also a sign? Well that’s what happened. There was absolutely no sign. I waited for a few minutes even as we got seated. And I let the anxiety settle down in me by reminding myself that the Universe always has my back.
This place turned out to have the best sizzling brownie I have ever had. No jokes! Had I listened to my siren, which proved false in this situation, I would have missed out on some great dessert.
Story #2 – The Time The Universe Asked Me To Shut-up 🙂
This another story from my time at a cafe. Cafes seem to be important in my life, no guessing why though!
I sat across an excited girl, as she shared her spiritual awakening story with me. It had been quite some time, as I sat quietly and listened to her story. I was trying to be a good listener, but my ego was beginning to grow restless.
I didn’t know if I should pitch in, or just keep nodding. But the moment I decided to say something, I noticed the projector flash behind her. The song had changed, and it was called “quiet”.
I was grinning ear to ear, now, and I bit my tongue, doing as told to by the Universe. She saw that my mood had changed. I told her what had happened, and we both amused at this beautiful synchronicity!
Story #3 – The Time I ALMOST Went To Vancouver
If anyone knows me well enough, they’ll know that my shifting to Canada has been the longest and slowest process. It’s uncanny, how fast our wedding happened and ironically how slow our actual married life took to begin.
So this is the story of when my visa came and I had 4 days left before my flight. We were all in a flux.
“Should I go, will it be safe?” The virus scare had been rising in India.
But I realized something – my intuition wasn’t saying anything to me. Nor was my ego. While there was ambiguity all around, there was silence within. So I did what I do best. I surrendered, with a practical prayer.
“Dear Universe, I have no idea if I’m supposed to go or not. So you do something that makes if clear. Very clear.”
The next morning, I wake up to the news that airways amongst all other transport has been put under lockdown. And bam! There was clarity. While this was a tough call for me to take, I consider it a blessing that the Universe showed up for me with such a grand gesture.
#2 – Separate Ego From Self-Esteem
Have you had the rush of energy to do something negative in your life, like
- reveal a deep dark secret that could shake someone’s life,
- say something nasty during a fight that is ‘crossing the line’
- give empty breakup threats when you’re mad at your partner
- and so on?
Well, as much as we want to believe it’s our intuition or self-esteem guiding us, it’s really our ego.
I always say this, that the ego loves drama and the soul loves simplicity.
So right before you do something controversial, here are two things worth thinking about:
One, will this satisfy my ego and give me a ‘high’, or is this actually necessary for my growth?
Two, is this an attempt to put somebody else’s ego down or create drama?
You’d think that it’s okay to make someone feel worse because they hurt you, but you may want to think a hundred times before you try to even the score.
It can be tricky because your ego will say “no, that’s not what’s happening”. So let me step back and say that if you even feel like asking these questions then there’s a large possibility you’re operating from a place of ego.
In such cases, let that moment pass. And remember, you can always have this conversation again, in a more detached yet compassionate way. Don’t let yourself get caught in the ego trap, thinking it’s about self-esteem or that you have the right to hurl nasty comments on someone’s character because you’re triggered.
You’ll also find it helpful to reflect on these questions to work towards egoless thinking and raising your self-awareness.
#3 – Seperate Trauma from Intuition
When you surrender and let Divine Intervention lead your way, you can then realize that many of the false alarms are your wounds and traumas. For me, here were the pain points I discovered.
In the first story, I was scared and uncomfortable because most of the tables were occupied by groups of men drinking alcohol and laughing out loud. My subconscious was wired to think the worst of such situations, but I never realized it until that day.
In the third story, when I was trying to interrupt the girl with my own insights, I was really just trying to validate my experience and become preachy. This is an old subconscious behavior which resurfaced in that moment, but wasn’t able to make space in the reality thanks to divine intervention.
So as you begin healing these false hits, your intuition naturally becomes stronger and you’re able to create more space between intuition and ego.
I know the word ‘intuition’ can sound woowoo to most of us, because we’re so habitual of being logical and practical in day-to-day decisions.
But the moment we start acknowledging how little we really know about anything, and that there’s much more happening behind the scenes than we can even fathom, we open our crown chakra. And an abundance of wisdom and guidance showers on us!
This journey is a fine thing, learning how to work with the universe and speed up our healing. So when we say unlearn old ways, it’s really just saying stop living in the ego, and start moving into your intuition. 🙂
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