Should Spiritual People Get Married?

To hermit, or to co-habitat?

It is a widespread (thankfully, now becoming corrected) notion that spirituality equals renouncing everything and becoming a monk.

Should someone that’s trying to transcend the world still buy Nike shoes and go on expensive dinners?

Truth is, spirituality isn’t about resisting your life, it’s about transcending it.

How? Let’s look at a simple example – eating chips or popcorn. Most of us grab a handful and stuff our faces with the crispy goodness, not even chewing properly. Now, if you were to look at a video of yourself eating popcorn at the movies, you might be taken aback and cringe.

Conscious living is pretty much that – watching yourself like a movie, as often as you can. The behaviours you don’t like, when you see with your own eyes, will reduce and eventually stop, or transform into something better.

The desires you have, the materialism you seek must also be transcended – at your own pace.

What about marriage – can we transcend our life with a partner by our side?

With the Mirror Technique, we can.

Self-awareness would not have been possible, we would not be able to see our true nature, had it not been for others around us. We are able to reflect on our behaviour, our mistakes, our grudges and resentments, only because people give us that opportunity.

Board, Flower, Excuse Me, Sorry, I Beg Your Pardon

Yes, loving relations are the sign of a healthy and happy life, but they are not available to all of us, for the simple fact that we are yet to apply the mirror technique.

The mirror technique simply means, stop seeing the other person’s actions and instead start seeing your reactions. What arises within you whenever they act; WHY are you angry? WHY are you jealous? WHY are you insecure?

Use every interaction with another person as an opportunity to meet yourself with greater depth.

And that’s when real healing begins.

How can you know your ability to forgive if someone doesn’t hurt you?

How can you overcome your jealousy if you didn’t even experience it, if you didn’t share that kind of intimacy in the first place?

Resistance is delaying, preventing yourself from experiencing the darkest side of your being. And just like music – the deeper you can sing on the scale, the higher you’ll be able to hit on the octave too. And so is life – you cannot know your light, until you face your darkness.

And what better a way, than with a partner who you’ve committed to live with, till death do you part? If you don’t believe me, Justin Timberlake has written an entire song about it to explain this! Check it out.

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Image Source : iMDB

This person will push your buttons at every step of the way – right from conflicts over room temperatures and changing baby diapers at midnight, to who-said-what’s and then some…

Come to think of it – they will really help you apply all kinds of spiritual techniques.

Thanks to all the ups and downs, you’ll remember God a lot more. I mean how often do you remember God when life’s smooth?

You’ll learn to surrender when your partner is stubborn.

You’ll trust the process when your partner is making a mess-up.

You’ll learn to co-create and co-habitat, just as humans are designed to do, thus overriding your ego.

And you’ll learn the truest form of unconditional love and devotion, when you fall in love with your partner and children, each time in a greater capacity.

Sunset, Family, Game, Silhouette, Set

To understand this better, let me quote Sadhguru, as he explains in his work, Adiyogi,

There was a difference between her [Parvati] and the sages; she was in love with him [Shiva] and the sages were in love with what he had [mastery over Self]. Because of her level of perception and receptivity, Shiva took her directly to the peak of attainment [Enlightenment through love].

Whether we go hunting for Enlightenment in a cave, or in the solitude of a room at home, the end-goal is attainable. Because it isn’t the outside dynamics that matter; it all comes down to one thing – the inner thirst for this quest.

Ofcourse, to each their own, but the kind of lives we’ve signed up for don’t exactly permit the kind of extremism anymore, which sages and monks once practised.

We’ve got to find our peace here, and now.

Quotes, Carpe Diem, Word, Diem, Inspiration, Saying

Getting married whilst on a spiritual pursuit is like a double ‘challenge accepted’.

It’s about balancing the hermit and the materialistic sides in you.

And at the same time, it is the best of both worlds. 🙂

Image Courtesy : pixabay.com, shutterstock.com

3 Things All Lazy Travelers Should do at Mcleodganj

Lazy or not, this became a trip worth sharing. Do read and share your experiences too!

Mcleodganj became an immersive and life-changing experience for us, simply because my friend and I were too lazy. Ironically, I feel like I should proactively talk about this, because it’s turned out to be such a good thing!

  1. Stay at a Monastery Guesthouse

After a steady 30-minute uphill climb from the bus stand, we found our way to the backside of our hotel. The entrance was blocked by huge hoardings all over the floor, that said ‘welcome’. Not very welcoming, to be honest.

With not a single person in sight to ask for directions, and not knowing what else to do, our first idea was to move some of the hoardings out of the way, and try getting in. But quickly, it became quite obvious, when we saw a few uprooted plant pots and unmanned doors, that the hotel had actually been ghosted. Had OYO conned us?

We then did something more sensible and called the hotel’s reception. So apparently, the actual hotel was another 20 minutes away and Google Maps had played a prank on us. This was a relief, as you can imagine. And so, we began to walk some more.

On the way upwards, we noticed an elderly Buddhist nun trekking down from a monastery. She looked at us with a huge, angelic smile and blew a flying kiss as well. As a stronger believer of ‘signs’, we figured that we’re meant to visit the monastery.

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Nyingma Monastery, en-route Mcleodganj to Bhagsunag

As soon as we reached the road that led up to our hotel, we knew it was going to be impossible. A car had just barely managed to climb that dirt road, its engine desperately vroom-vrooming its way up. We turned around and rushed back to the monastery. And they gladly took us in!

Our stay at the monastery guesthouse was actually quite humbling. The room compromised simply of two twin beds, and a wooden chair. The bathroom was to be shared between all the other rooms on that floor.

We were also blessed with a perfect view of sunrise, sunset and stargazing from a giant window in our room, that looked into the world. The monastery itself was minimalistic and gorgeous. Not to forget, it was unbelievably inexpensive. Just 200 INR!

TAKEAWAY : Book a hotel that allows free-cancellation, because it may not be located where the map says so, and you might find something more soulful, like staying with the monks.

  1. Ignore the ‘Lists’

We went with a list of 5 ‘Must-Try’ Cafes, and we happened to visit all ZERO of them. I have no clue if Shiva Café is overrated or not, simply because we never made it that far up!

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Other Lazy Travelers on the way to Shiva Cafe

Also, again thanks to Google Maps, we never reached Namgyal Café because the cafe has been relocated, but hasn’t been ‘mapped’ yet. Also, none of the locales seemed to know its exact whereabouts, and we ofcourse were too lazy to try finding it out on our own.

TAKEAWAY : Mcleodganj cafes serve better food than Zomato reviewers claim. All 6 of our meals ended up at underrated and sometimes non-digitally-existant places. Because these places are so good, I decided to talk more about them in another blog. Stay tuned!

  1. Visit When His Holiness, Dalai Lama is in Town

We happened to visit the Dalai Lama Monastery when his Holiness was visiting. The streets outside the complex were packed with anticipating travelers and monks, beautiful decorations and chatter. You might have guessed by now how lazy we are, and after about 90 seconds of sincerity and patience, we decided to enter the premise anyway.

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Tibetan Monks waiting with flower bouquets awaiting the arrival of his Holiness, Dalai Lama

What we found then, was a completely quiet and empty monastery! Almost everyone was outdoors, waiting for his Holiness to arrive; save a few security personnel and monks on duty inside.

We were thus able to stroll around at our leisure pace, taking our time to soak in the monastery’s vibe and chuckle at the Choco-Pies and Real Juice bottles offered to the Buddha deities within the temple. How times have changed!

Did we finally get a glimpse of his Holiness? Nope. People were still waiting for him when we came back outside. Not as a sign of disrespect, but sheer laziness, we slowly walked ourselves away from the golden opportunity.

TAKEAWAY : I admit that we probably missed a lot of things that Mcleodganj is most known for. But we discovered a lot of underrated things that you won’t, unless you’re lazy too!

One thing we did do quite enthusiastically, was reach out to the locales and understand their lives. What we found out through these discussions was life-changing, and might be worth your time too. Watch this space for that post!