It is a widespread (thankfully, now becoming corrected) notion that spirituality equals renouncing everything and becoming a monk.
Should someone that’s trying to transcend the world still buy Nike shoes and go on expensive dinners?
Truth is, spirituality isn’t about resisting your life, it’s about transcending it.
How? Let’s look at a simple example – eating chips or popcorn. Most of us grab a handful and stuff our faces with the crispy goodness, not even chewing properly. Now, if you were to look at a video of yourself eating popcorn at the movies, you might be taken aback and cringe.
Conscious living is pretty much that – watching yourself like a movie, as often as you can. The behaviours you don’t like, when you see with your own eyes, will reduce and eventually stop, or transform into something better.
The desires you have, the materialism you seek must also be transcended – at your own pace.
What about marriage – can we transcend our life with a partner by our side?
With the Mirror Technique, we can.
Self-awareness would not have been possible, we would not be able to see our true nature, had it not been for others around us. We are able to reflect on our behaviour, our mistakes, our grudges and resentments, only because people give us that opportunity.
Yes, loving relations are the sign of a healthy and happy life, but they are not available to all of us, for the simple fact that we are yet to apply the mirror technique.
The mirror technique simply means, stop seeing the other person’s actions and instead start seeing your reactions. What arises within you whenever they act; WHY are you angry? WHY are you jealous? WHY are you insecure?
Use every interaction with another person as an opportunity to meet yourself with greater depth.
And that’s when real healing begins.
How can you know your ability to forgive if someone doesn’t hurt you?
How can you overcome your jealousy if you didn’t even experience it, if you didn’t share that kind of intimacy in the first place?
Resistance is delaying, preventing yourself from experiencing the darkest side of your being. And just like music – the deeper you can sing on the scale, the higher you’ll be able to hit on the octave too. And so is life – you cannot know your light, until you face your darkness.
And what better a way, than with a partner who you’ve committed to live with, till death do you part? If you don’t believe me, Justin Timberlake has written an entire song about it to explain this! Check it out.
This person will push your buttons at every step of the way – right from conflicts over room temperatures and changing baby diapers at midnight, to who-said-what’s and then some…
Come to think of it – they will really help you apply all kinds of spiritual techniques.
Thanks to all the ups and downs, you’ll remember God a lot more. I mean how often do you remember God when life’s smooth?
You’ll learn to surrender when your partner is stubborn.
You’ll trust the process when your partner is making a mess-up.
You’ll learn to co-create and co-habitat, just as humans are designed to do, thus overriding your ego.
And you’ll learn the truest form of unconditional love and devotion, when you fall in love with your partner and children, each time in a greater capacity.
To understand this better, let me quote Sadhguru, as he explains in his work, Adiyogi,
There was a difference between her [Parvati] and the sages; she was in love with him [Shiva] and the sages were in love with what he had [mastery over Self]. Because of her level of perception and receptivity, Shiva took her directly to the peak of attainment [Enlightenment through love].
Whether we go hunting for Enlightenment in a cave, or in the solitude of a room at home, the end-goal is attainable. Because it isn’t the outside dynamics that matter; it all comes down to one thing – the inner thirst for this quest.
Ofcourse, to each their own, but the kind of lives we’ve signed up for don’t exactly permit the kind of extremism anymore, which sages and monks once practised.
We’ve got to find our peace here, and now.
Getting married whilst on a spiritual pursuit is like a double ‘challenge accepted’.
It’s about balancing the hermit and the materialistic sides in you.
And at the same time, it is the best of both worlds. 🙂
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