Let me begin by talking about this – what is an identity crisis?
A term coined by Erik Ericson, it’s what people used to call a mid-life crisis a couple of years ago. But now, it has increasingly been happening with younger adults, between their 20’s and early 30’s.
So many people are going to great lengths to ‘be different’. Hoping that by being different so audaciously, they may find their true Self.
Many times, it stems from the realisation that maybe, life isn’t about this job, or revolving around certain people. It perhaps isn’t about working hard and partying hard. It isn’t what I am doing – but then, what SHOULD I be doing?
The need to understand who we are, and what we’re here to do, can spiral us downwards and lead us into the Dark Night of the Soul, a phenomenon I talked about when I first started this blog.
And if you ask this question to any revered saint or spiritual teacher, he’ll tell you one thing – DETACH yourself.
How can you let go of your job, your family, money etc?
How can you let go of the very things that define you?
It seems insane at first. I know because it’s been years working on this. I even talked about why we find it difficult to detach ourselves, from a modern lens.
However, today I want to talk about how to detach ourselves, using this technique I’ve been trying on myself too.
I’m not a monk or anything of course, but an analogy came to me when I began to reflect on detachment in meditation. So now, whenever I am flustered by these identity crisis related thoughts, I visualize the Anchor. And it helps!
Let’s look at it with my cute stick men.
Is Your Awareness Leading You AWAY From Peace?
We all have an anchor within us. It is our awareness, which we bring to different areas of life, as those areas interest us. As our awareness begins to go back to those things over and over again, we begin to identify with them intensely.
And simply put, every time our awareness is forced away, challenged by an external cause, that identity crisis resurfaces.
But why are we this way in the first place?
Because of society, we’re led to believe that our awareness should be on external things in order to be happy. And yet, some of the richest people in the world can confirm that happiness doesn’t come from riches or relationships.
Happiness is an inside job. Through the following set of questions, let’s reflect on where our anchor is, where our awareness is going towards. And in what way are we pursuing happiness (or subconsciously running away from it).
#1 – IS YOUR ANCHOR IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS?
If it is on another person, you will eventually be disappointed when the nature of the relationship will change. So many relationships end with the feeling of being the one that has loved too much. Are you one of those people?
#2 – IS IT ON A FUTURE MILESTONE?
If it is on a goal, you will feel an identity crisis as soon as you have achieved that goal. “Now what?”, you’ll wonder until you hop onto the next one to comfort this growing inner turmoil.
#3 – IS IT ON SOME ‘THING’?
If it is a materialistic pleasure, it will soon cease to please you.
Identity Crisis NO MORE
If your anchor, your awareness is within yourself, it will never fail you. Because as long as YOU are here and you are anchored within your being, no matter what the changes around you, you will be unshakeable.
After all, as the saying goes, that which can be taken away from me, isn’t mine.
When we strip down from all these shackles and personalities, what is left, is actually a paradox.
As one of my spiritual teachers says, we cannot find peace, as long as we are pursuing position, possession or pleasure.
So when we are no longer ‘limited’ by these things, we are everything! One step closer to finding the Universe within ourselves, eh?
Concluding Thoughts
I know my little stick men aren’t the most beautiful to visualize, but hey! Perhaps when you close your eyes and envision your anchor, they will come to you in their imperfect, silly way and bring you both clarity and smiles.
Once you’ve visualized and brought the anchor, your awareness, back to yourself, everything will be at ease once again. Your identity crisis will quieten and you will be able to see the bigger picture.
Hence, DETACHMENT!
Yes – it all always adds up. And until it doesn’t just keep going deeper and deeper within.
Happy healing, dear one!
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