The 4 Stages of Our Life Purpose & How to Navigate Them

What is the purpose of life? What am I here to do? Is there more meaning to life than just doing a job on weekdays and doing laundry on the weekends? These were some of the questions that pushed me into deep thinking. I ached for answers and went through a long quest to find my life purpose. Much of this quest has already been shared here on the blog. So today’s focus is to bring this journey full-circle and share the different challenges and stages of our life purpose. Plus, we’ll explore various tools and ideas to help you navigate each challenge.

The 4 Stages of Our Life Purpose

Before we get started, I want to thank my friend, Skee (who, by the way, is an amazing artist, tarot reader & just such a soulful human) for inspiring me to write this. Our conversation focused on the feeling of helplessness towards bigger problems such as war, genocide, etc. I’ll be talking about this in depth too, in the latter stages of this article.

Stage #1 – The Wobbly Start

When I first started writing about my spiritual experiences, it wasn’t because I knew this is “it”. In fact, I was sharing because I was in so much pain and confusion that writing became my own healing outlet.

And as I continued sharing and writing about my experiences, I began to receive lots of emails, messages and phone calls from people around the world who could relate. As someone that had felt alone so far in this journey, these strangers became friends.

I was also going through an identity crisis about my career in the corporate world. So eventually, I wanted this to become a career: writing and mentoring people about all things spiritual. Especially twin flames.

I still remember “officially” calling myself a twin flame coach on Instagram…. and hearing crickets. Imagine the despair! It felt like I’d spent a year stacking dominoes that tumbled all the way down again.

It took another 1.5 years from that time, of doing my own mental, emotional and spiritual healing to actually become the mentor and coach I’d once announced myself to be.

How the story goes, is that my first client called me and said she knew I was meant to help her. She decided I was her guide even before I formally spoke with her, and that was that.

This is what it feels like when we’re in the initial stages of finding our life purpose. First there’s confusion and despair. And then suddenly, the fog begins to lift.

If you’re feeling confused about what to do to create an impact in the world, or if you’ve found that calling but aren’t being taken seriously by others around you, here are my tips:

• Try the life purpose matrix (tool): This is a fun exercise I’d put together back in the day when I was still trying to figure out what I’d do if not for being a cyber security analyst. It’s a step-by-step guide to creatively explore what other options are for a career. Here’s the link. I’d love to hear back from you on what you discover!
  
• Don’t bring urgency into this. Remember the Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs? Spirituality comes after we’ve developed our physical, mental and emotional stability. So if you’re financially unsettled, or have health issues that are holding you back from service, focus on healing those first. Don’t bring that pressure on yourself or on your higher calling. In fact, in Sanskrit, there’s a beautiful term for it – svadharma – our duties towards ourselves. And that always comes before any other role or responsibility we want to take on. Your mind, body or finances don’t have to be perfect, but at some point the wheels will turn in your favour if you keep working on them.
  
• Chances are, your approach or topic might not be accurate. If you have an idea of what you’d like to do, plus you’re getting the hang of living a healthy life, and still see no results, don’t take it personally. For instance, back then, I wanted to support other twin flames, but that wasn’t meant to be main focus. Neither was I meant to just be a past life regression healer, which was a whole melodramatic story of its own! Now, I do both of those things, but they are not my main offerings. So for you, my next invitation is to continue exploring more modalities in your area of interest. Eventually, you’ll come across something that you’re more natural at and “meant to do”.

I also share more stories and insights about this stage during a guest interview for the All About Soul podcast.

#2 – Bringing it home

Once my journey as a writer and life coach officially started, I wanted to be able to do more. My hunger for helping others grew, and along with that, a different kind of restlessness. Having just one or two clients a week was no longer enough. I wanted to spend all my waking hours just coaching and helping others experience transformation!

But I was far from that. In fact, there came a point when the client work was (almost) zero for several months.

Was it just beginner’s luck? Was the Universe putting out the short-lived flames of my passion? I was so frustrated from all the waiting around.

And I kept wondering why the universe wasn’t giving me bigger or better opportunities when I was clearly so aligned with it.

Turns out, I wasn’t fully aligned. And these are the revelations I had during this phase:

• Our life purpose isn’t just one thing. When we do something we’re really passionate about, everything else in life takes a backseat. We become heavily identified with this passion (workaholism). So if you’re seeing a dip in your progress, celebrate that! Life is showing you that you’re not dependent on this one thing – you’re being invited to step back and experience more of life. For me, it became such a gift, in the form of: developing multiple new hobbies (chess, gardening & working at a local bookstore), reigniting my love for my Creator and becoming more radical and bold as a coach!
  
• Find purpose in the mundane. If you’ve been softening your grip on your purpose and you still don’t see results, here’s my next invitation. Reclaim your purpose and become one with it so that it can never be taken away from you again. For instance, I decided that whether I ever get to formally coach again or not, I would continue showing up as one wherever I went. So I showed up with my coaching hat on, and leaned in to support more family and friends whenever they consented to be probed. I even dedicated extra time coaching on Quora. Is there a way for you to integrate your passion into the mundane stuff? Like a musician making music while washing the dishes, or an artist using that dish soap to create art on plates and cups?
  
• Understand the seasonal nature of your passion: Sometimes, you have a lot of energy, but your business isn’t absorbing it. For example, think of this integration / maintenance phase like winter. You slow down and cuddle in warm blankets in front of the fire place, enjoying the rewards of all the hard work. Or sometimes, you go away on vacation! In my case, when work slows down, I double-down working at the bookstore. It helps me move all the energy that my business isn’t ready for.
  
• Deeper prompt to reflect on: What if the life you’re being given right now is your current purpose? So maybe, it is taking care of sick parents versus focusing on your career, or looking after yourself during an unexpected pregnancy because you’re meant to raise a child first. If something seems to be “in the way”, embrace it.

#3 – Integration

This is the stage that we’ve waited for, potentially for years! The foundation is set, business has become consistent, and you’re finally beginning to call your purpose a career.

However, with the hustle settling down, the excitement might feel like it’s gone too.

In other words, you’re experiencing stability. And if you’re like me, stability can equate to boredom. Which the nervous system interprets as: something is wrong. It’s important to learn how to overcome the boredom because otherwise, you might start to lose focus on your “why” and look for excitement in other areas of life. This happened to me in 2022 but at the time, I didn’t understand that it was largely about stability = boredom = unsafe (amongst many other things).

I share how I experienced the unhappiness return when I was at the peak of my coaching practice, in this short video:

As you can see, this causes grief, because you might wonder what happened?! How can something that once brought so much joy, and that I worked so hard for, no longer feel exciting?

Here are my tips to navigate one of the most ironic stages of our life purpose:

• Recognize & detach from the need for constant excitement: it’s common for something to lose emotional charge once we’ve been exposed to it for long enough. This is called desensitization and its likely to happen once you fully accept that so-and-so is your purpose. But don’t go chasing for a new purpose just because this one doesn’t feel as exciting! Learn to sit with the feeling of boredom – 5 minutes at a time, can you do nothing and just watch yourself experience boredom? Here’s a step-by-step walkthrough on creating a silence retreat effect at home, to reverse the dopamine rush.
  
• Create excitement: Please do this after you’ve been practicing the above prompt! Focus on setting new, short-term goals for your business or purpose – something that feels challenging and can reignite the flame! Key word here is short-term goals. For instance, commit to doing something outside your comfort zone just for the next 30 days. Or even just 7 days can help spice things up.
  
• It’s okay to feel disconnect: If you saw the video above, you can imagine my lacklustre as I went through another identity crisis with my coaching practice. However, it didn’t mean I wanted to shut the doors altogether. Here’s how you can take a step back without judging yourself for it – allow yourself to set “bare minimum” goals that you can do even if you feel disconnected from your passion, and go focus on your other goals or hobbies for this season.
  
• Understand the seasonal nature of your soul’s journey: As humans, we are made to believe that productivity and output should always be at its peak. However, I now invite you to appreciate the seasons of your soul’s journey by looking at the five elements: are you feeling more fired-up lately? Or maybe you’re cooling down and feel like water. Notice what element represents your energy and tune into that fully. Remember, you’re not a machine!
  

#4 – The bigger picture

It’s almost imperative that as artists, healers, coaches and therapists keep doing their work, they will become an activist, public speaker, open their own non-proft/school/hospital, etc. And how do we determine what our contribution will be towards the human race? Here’s a hint:

Do certain “breaking news” topics bother you more than others? Some of us might feel pain when we hear about world hunger. Others might feel their blood boil at the sight of human trafficking or women brutality.

Your unique reaction is indicative of the bigger purpose you have for the collective consciousness.

That purpose might be hands-on, groundwork to support larger groups or even nations. Or it might be about extending monetary and non-monetary donations to local communities.

However, many of us will take years or even decades to crystalize this stage of our life purpose! Why? Because to increase our impact, we require more energy & resources. Which means we need to learn how to work together, and that often requires overcoming our own traumas from previous relationships.

Our ability to truly live out our full potential and purpose largely depends on our ability to take help from others in the spiritual and physical realm.

In business it looks like hiring a team. At home it can look like leaning on family members to help share our task load so that we can make more time for our purpose. In the spiritual realm, it looks like deeper introspection and connection to our soul guides.

I haven’t maxed-out on my potential yet either. So here are steps we can all take to begin increasing our impact:

• Volunteer before you commit: if the world news is triggering, you’re probably not ready to show up in the world for that level of support yet. But if you feel activated and pulled to take action, volunteer at your local communities and do some grassroots work to understand some of the complexities and nuances. For instance, I’m bringing some of my writing and technical skills to the local temple I love visiting.
  
• Find someone that can relate: As is true for many things, our immediate friends and family might not have the same passion as we do, to bring change in a certain field. So do what it takes to find like-minded individuals that help you bring out your passion even further. Maybe there’s a Facebook group that exists for your area of interest. Or a Reddit forum. And even better if you can find local events or community gatherings.
  
• Grow your nervous system capacity: If you want to do more for the world, but don’t know how to without feeling sad, horrified or burnout, continue doing your inner work. More specifically – build your emotional and nervous system capacity. This is a juicy topic! And we dive really deep into the hows of this in the recent MSS Community workshops. You can explore those resources by signing up here.

And last but not the least, remember that you are an infinite being! You are capable of doing so much for the world. And it will always start with you honouring your own journey and existence. The more you heal and become authentic, the more ways in which the Universe will call you into service.

Concluding Thoughts

Walking through the various stages of our life of purpose is a dynamic journey! And what I share above is just scratching the surface for this roller coaster ride. So please share your experiences and questions below so we can make this an even more intimate and all-encompassing resource for all readers.

Also, I go deeper into each tool and insight with my 1:1 clients to explore how to personalize everything to their personal challenge. So if you’re feeling called to dive into this further, set up a complementary chat using the link in the bio below and we can see if this is the right fit for you.

Cheers to you finding, following and fulfilling your beautiful life purpose!

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