Have you heard the term Twin Flames? If not, you’re lucky! Jokes apart, I came across this concept several years ago in the most random way – from the comment section on a Medium article! And combined with 11:11 on the clock, it sparked my Spiritual Awakening.
I learned and experienced a lot of unexplainable things when actively working to heal myself through my twin flame journey.
Initially, when I began writing on my Instagram account, I would talk about Twin Flames, create memes on Divine Union, and whatnot. It was a learning curve for me, and those around me. Over time, as my spiritual journey expanded, so did my work.
I’ve been stalling this post for more than two years now. From the beginning, I’ve written, rewritten and deleted this more times than I can count on my fingers. But I finally decided to do this.
I want to bring all the genuine advice I can, from personal experience. Because of late, I notice a lot of fluff and misconception on the subject, and I hope that this post will address most of that, even if not all.
This post is not just from my perspective. But also from the lens of several other Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine that I befriended along the way.
DISCLAIMER: This information was personally gathered from everyone I believed could add value to this subject. Using Google Forms, I asked a dozen questions. Most people want to remain anonymous at the end of the day. This is a personal choice and I respect their privacy. So, I will only share what I am permitted to.
Even though this is a giant post, it is still scratching the surface of what the whole twin flame journey is really about. Nevertheless, we must all start somewhere, and this is my initial jab at the subject. Let’s dive in, shall we?
WHAT is a Twin Flame?
The most popular idea on the internet is that twin flames represent one soul split into two bodies that come together in that last lifetime. They’re believed to merge back together after having learned all their individual lessons, for a lasting union.
As nice and romantically satisfying as that sounds, that never made much sense to my logical mind, because there was insufficient proof.
Even then, there are some interesting yet unexplainable events that happen in day-to-day life during the twin flame journey. And as you experience them first-hand, you will know that there’s something magical unfolding.
I can thus explain twin flames best with a few telltale signs and experiences that happen during the process. It is through these signs and experiences that I will eventually share my definition of what a twin flame means.
So, what are the signs you have met your twin flame?
#1 -you see VIVID, otherworldly or prophetic Dreams of this person
A Divine Feminine from the US shares,
“Early on in this journey, I dreamed of him very often. Each dream ended the same: we said I love you to each other and we were always dressed in the same exact colors.”
Personally, for me too, I wasn’t ready to move to Canada. And I wasn’t willing to even meet the guy at the time, as a prospect for arranged marriage. But it was a very vivid dream that helped me let go of my resistance. At the time, I saw a man I couldn’t recognize tell me I needed to go to Canada, so that we can “meet again”.
Interestingly, my mother also had a prophetic dream about my getting married to Sagar (my husband), in the exact way we did!
#2 – you experience deep RECOGNITION & UNEXPLAINABLE FAMILIARITY with this person
This turns out to be a person you’ve had a deep, past connection with over many lifetimes and you have a lot of history together (even though you can’t remember it).
You may know the person for many years and still not recognize them, or on the other hand, you might hit it off right away. But you will experience a certain familiarity, an intense attraction, and the desire to be around them even if it started as a platonic friendship.
However, as you do hang out together, you will also notice yourself constantly being triggered and feeling emotionally threatened. This is called the mirror effect. They are mirroring to you what you need to see within you so that you can feel it, and heal it. For good.
Your twin flame’s biggest role in your life is to bring out your unhealed wounds, your shadow aspects, and help you overcome them through self-realization. They act as your biggest teacher, as a true mirror to help you see yourself.
#3 – this person amplifieS the signs & SynchronicitieS in your life
Though not all necessary, you could experience any of the following:
- Increased synchronicities such as Angel Numbers whenever you’re around them, thinking about them or about to meet them;
- Animal Totems, especially pairs of animals like a pair of birds, horses, etc;
- Crossing people with the same name, seeing their name written on boards and in random chats, etc;
- Enhanced psychic senses and a strengthened sense of intuition,
- So on and so forth.
Anjana, a Divine Feminine from India shares her story,
“I started noticing the word Twin flame while watching videos related to spirituality, as I was on a journey of awakening. The curiosity made me do some research on TF journey. When I realized I too had met my twin, this journey became more precious and more curiosity bound me to move forward. “
It’s as if the universe conspires to bring you together, and every time you pay heed, it rewards you!
#4 – you experience a deeper understanding of the meaning of unconditional love
In the spiritual journey, we are taught that it all comes down to love. Every action we take is either out of love, or a call for love. Of course, this is easier said than embodied, but it gets easier to understand in a twin flame dynamic. How?
For twin flames, they experience an immense and engulfing feeling of love for each other, amidst the intense waves of push and pull. This love can feel so pure at times, it can feel much more than just a romantic or friendship based emotion. It is then that you get a hint of what it means to be unconditional in nature.
On the shadow side of this sign of a twin flame, many people make the mistake of putting their partner on a pedestal, and letting them get away with things that make us challenge our self-esteem and self-worth. It’s a reminder to use this triggering dynamic to strengthen your relationship boundaries, not let them weaken!
#5 – this person shows up in your darkest hour
It could be after a tragedy or during your dark night of the soul, that you meet this person ‘by chance’. You both could even be going through similar life challenges, and find solace in each other’s companionship. But as soon as they enter your life, they trigger immense healing and an initial sense of comfort.
As a Divine Feminine from Greece shares,
“One night, after I thought I reached the bottom and I was wishing to not be alive, I asked for the first time help from God. I was always an atheist but this time my desperation led me to surrender and ask help even if that God didn’t exist. A few minutes later I met my twin online by “accident”. It was so intense and I couldn’t even realize why. I was completely unaware of what all those things that I was experiencing were. The only thing I knew was that I wanted for the first time to transform into my best version of me. And that’s what I did.“
As you experience these signs, you may find yourself to be in a “Honeymoon” Stage of the journey.
As Lilibeth a Divine Feminine also shares,
“It all began with a break up. I sought help on how to understand what I had been through and met a wonderful spiritual advisor, simultaneously I “met” my Twin Flame but I had no idea what I was headed into, I just knew it was going to be different than anything I had ever experienced before.“
A twin flame, just like other soul family, holds a strong telepathic connection with us. So, when we are in distress, they levitate to help us.
The differentiator is that twin flames typically carry a lot of complimenting wounds and baggage, and they both heal each other as well as trigger each other’s wounds in a way that’s more intense than most other relationships.
So now, let’s take a minute to talk about the three types of spiritual relationships that we share – soulmates, karmic connections and twin flames.
What Is The Difference Between a Twin Flame, Soulmate, and Karmic Connection?
Broadly speaking, the people we meet can have three types of soul contracts with us.
Karmic connections are said to be the relationships that we get into, purely to fulfill a karmic debt to each other. Such relationships typically do not stay with us for life, and can end in an ugly way.
These relationships can almost feel transactional in nature, where it eventually feels like one person got the better side of the deal, whereas the other was just giving and giving away.
Soulmates are spread out across our lifetime, and include our friends, family members and loved ones. Initially, they may have many spiritual lessons for us to learn from them, and can trigger us in our healing. However, overtime they can be the easiest people to hang out with, who we even consider our soul tribe.
Even when soulmates go apart in distance and lose touch from time to time, they are harmonious and gravitate back to each other over and over again.
And then, there are twin flames. It’s believed that you only have one such person, a true energetic counterpart.
However, there have been instances in the twin flame community where people have talked about false or catalyst twin flames. Which is what I want to talk about next.
False Twin Flames
Just like the concept of a twin flame feels strange at first, so does the idea of a false twin flame. Until you’ve experienced either phenomenon, you won’t believe in it.
However, there are many people I’ve met in the community that can confirm they have undergone a spiritual awakening due to a false twin flame. The “false flame” acts as a catalyst in your journey, and can prepare you for your final union with your “true twin flame”.
And what people experience is that when they’ve truly awakened to the dynamic of this journey, the false flame will “fall off” and lose sight. And over the next couple of months or years, no matter what they do, they will not be reentering the awakened partner’s life. Instead, the path opens up to the real deal.
Sounds like a twisted movie plot, eh? I know!
At the end of the day, remember that these are all labels.
It doesn’t matter if you call them a soulmate, a karmic, a twin flame. Or if you want to call your special someone a tree. At the end of the day, all relationships are helping our soul in its evolution.
So, don’t tie yourself up with labels.
Whether this person is going to be your partner for life or not, doesn’t matter. What you can, and must do, is learn your spiritual lessons while holding immense love and respect for the individual who is here to play this role in the soul contract.
So… what is the Purpose of a Twin Flame Journey?
At this point, you might be nodding your head in agreement with many of the stories and experiences shared above. And my experience is that a twin flame is the person that gives a profoundly “I’m home”-like experience, in a way that compels us to go to new lengths in order to seek more of that home.
In that pursuit however, many of us (me included) might get lost in pursuing the person that reminded us of this immense safety, acceptance and love.
But the invitation is to now explore what the other person is actually mirroring to us: the possibility of finding that home within ourselves.
In other words, inner union.
In sharing that definition, I also want to talk about the other reasons so many people are having a twin flame awakening. I believe it’s a couple of things.
- One, it introduces you to the realm of Spirituality. For most people in the twin flame community that I have spoken to so far, they’ve all said that the journey brought on their spiritual awakening. It’s possible that through the experiences of unconditional love for another person that we wake up to the bigger truths of life.
- Second, it makes you aware of your duality and helps you balance your energy from the perspective of the divine masculine and the divine feminine. In every case I’ve seen thus far, the Divine Feminine energy is known to awaken first and undergo immense healing. The Divine Masculine follows suit much later on, but seemingly catches up quite rapidly.
- It also inspires you to rapidly heal yourself and tap into your higher purpose. I like to think of it as the Universe dangling a carrot for us to keep prioritizing our evolution. Often, I’ve observed that the awakened partner will pursue their spiritual calling and the other partner will join them shortly after.
So in essence, a twin flame journey is a deeply spiritual path that leads us back to ourselves and our wholeness. However, you don’t need to continue pursuing this path to stay spiritual – it’s just one of many modalities available to help us self-actualize.
Why is Twin Flame Separation So Painful?
In the different stages of a twin flame journey, it seems common for many couples to experience “separation” or a runner-chaser dynamic. Such situations create anguish because the human part of us that had deeply associated love and connection (our biological need) to this person has to now bear with losing that love and connection. This directly influences our survival needs and can feel like the wind being taken out of us!
And yet, the tug of war in twin flames has great wisdom in store, if we’re willing to lean into the pain. My encouragement is to look into the idea of attachment styles, which beautifully explains why perhaps the runner has an “avoidant attachment style” and the chaser has an “anxious attachment style” which creates this unhealthy dynamic.
As you become aware of your attachment needs, you can heal through these childhood wounds and find greater harmony within yourself. In that, you’re able to navigate the pull and push, by fully embracing the soul lessons your twin flame is bringing forward for you.
Myths About Twin Flames
I’m adding this section because it is what triggered my need to write the article in the first place. Some hard-hitting truth bombs your way, now. Note that I will continue adding to the list overtime.
Myth #1 – There are only 144,000 twin flames in the world.
With all due respect, it doesn’t matter how many twin flames there are. There’s no need to glamorize or make any of you feel special over the other.
All paths are leading us home, and some people have just chosen to walk down the spiritual path with a counterpart. This is just one of the many spiritual myths that pull us away from our true purpose.
Myth #2 – You need to be perfect to be in union.
It’s natural to want to improve yourself, but remember that the twin flame mirrors you. So they don’t need you to be perfect, they are always meeting you exactly as you are, and simply showing you where that is.
Instead of trying to perfect yourself and beating yourself up that you’re not in Divine Union, try to understand the concept of soul contracts. Some people, no matter how special, cannot be with us because we are not contracted or destined as such. And that’s that.
Myth #3 – You’re special if you have a twin flame.
Once again, this idea seems to flatter the ego-mind but doesn’t have much value. Unless you’re using this “special journey” to focus even more intensely on your healing, and you understand the depths of the mission at hand.
At the end of the day, we’re all going back home, twin flame or not. And there are no extra credits for doing your journey a certain way.
Myth #4 – You unite with your twin flame in your last lifetime.
I’ve spent the last 5 years or so exploring past life regression, and I’ve discovered many important truths about my soul’s journey. One fact is that I’ve married my twin flame multiple times. We’ve had many lifetimes together where we raised children, lived through adversities, and experienced different cultures together. But we were not ALWAYS together.
As a matter of fact, I’ve seen more lifetimes without my twin flame, than with. I’ve seen myself married to other soulmates, die prematurely due to adversity, or simply live a life of solitude. So, this whole idea that twin flames are meant to unite in their last lifetime is…. garbage. Sorry!
Myth #5 – You will have a romantic relationship with your twin flame.
The truth is that this journey is all about you uniting with yourself, albeit through another person. But that person is your mirror – they’re here to show you what you need to see within yourself. While it’s natural to feel attraction (and not all twin flames do), it’s also important to not miss the point here.
Twin flame journeys are NOT about getting married to each other or “changing the world” in grandiose ways. Those things can be a byproduct but aren’t the mandate.
Your working on yourself is the priority. Consider twin flames as another healing modality that you “use” to get closer to yourself. Getting married or even having a romantic relationship with your twin flame is not inevitable.
Please remember that we all have our “soul contracts” to help each other grow and this is no exception.
It’s hard to hear this but true: I’ve seen many twin flames get married to different people. Decades go on, and their role is mostly to “awaken” the other partner, but not to be together romantically. Doesn’t mean you can’t get married, but it’s important to understand that most people don’t.
My Twin Flame Story
Last but not least for this post, I want to share a little bit about my story.
For the first few years of my spiritual awakening, I was doing everything in my power to manifest a Twin Flame Union. I was driving myself crazy, wanting to find my Shiva. Eventually, I realized how ridiculous this was, and this was NOT in my power.
Finally, when I, Vasundhra (Earth) met my now-husband Sagar (Ocean), it hit me. This is it.
Throughout our courtship and several months into our marriage, I kept noticing uncanny synchronicities between us. Here are just some of the mystical stories that have unfolded for us.
- When I was a 4-year-old, I used to sing a Bollywood song, Pardesi Jana Nahin, which meant “my beloved, don’t forget me to go live in the abroad”. It gave me goosebumps when my grandmother reminded us of this because of the prophetic way in which my younger self must have sung that song!
- We’ve always had common relatives, but don’t remember meeting each other. However, we were at a wedding together when I was 7 or 8 years old. And legend has it (our mothers say), that we danced together back then!
- During my awakening, I started painting out of nowhere. The cover of this blog post is the painting I drew, long before I met my husband. Cherry blossoms are NON-EXISTENT where I lived in India, but are a natural aspect of Canada, my husband’s home.
- The moment we exchanged garlands during our wedding, I looked into the audience. And my eyes landed on someone’s phone cover, as they were clicking our picture. The cover was a beautiful picture of Shiva. I knew I had found him. My Twin Flame, My Shiva – Sagar.
There are countless incidents that happen every other day that affirm this journey and the Oneness that it’s meant to lead us towards!
Even today, after stalling this post for 2 years, when I decided to finalize it for publishing, my twin flame showed me a set of greeting cards he’d just purchased, by a brand called “good twin”. Haha, these synchronicities are something else!
The case in point I would like to make here is that the twin flame journey is a funny dance between our masculine and feminine energy. For example, the moment one of us is emotional, the other naturally jumps into their logical self. When one is inclined towards physical fitness, the other naturally inclines towards spiritual fitness. And so on.
There are many valuable lessons to be learned through this journey, and perhaps the most important one is finding our own inherent worth and wholeness. So, my question to you, fellow twin flame is, are you ready to stop focusing on them and bring all that awareness to the magic already within you?
Vasundhra is the Founder & Writer of My Spiritual Shenanigans. After seeing 11:11 on the clock one fateful night, her life turned around. Ever since, she has been blending modern psychology and ancient spirituality, to help herself and people around the world elevate the quality of their lives.
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