It’s interesting to explore the many dimensions and modalities that can help you become self-aware. Learning about your masculine and feminine energy can be a significant step towards inner union. This post is dedicated to helping you understand how.
And a side note to all my Arabic-readers: you can now read the Arabic translation of this article on the Mirdad website. Grateful to my sweet subscriber, Nada for initiating this!
Now, you must be wondering, if you’re a guy, you must be masculine energy? Or if you’re a girl, you would be feminine? WRONG!
An Introduction To The Masculine & Feminine Energy
Let’s get the first misconception out of the way.
We ALL have feminine AND masculine energy within us. It is not limited to one’s appearance or gender.
There can, of course, be degrees of masculinity and femininity, which determine our behavior on a day-to-day basis. For example:
- Enjoying giving gifts versus receiving gifts,
- Being able to multitask versus being focused and single-pointed,
- Being emotional versus being logical,
- Leading projects and pursuing people, versus being lead or pursued,
- Doing versus being,
- And so on.
Were you able to notice some of these qualities in both the men and women of your life? And within yourself as well, you may notice a unique mix!
Of course, you’re not necessarily always the same way. Different situations bring out different aspects of your individuality. Therefore, throughout life, you experience the yin-yang nature of energies.
It’s also important to understand that if you identify as a masculine woman or feminine man, it’s not a sign of weakness. Nor something to be ashamed of. It is in fact, very natural and has much deeper roots!
This is your soul’s preference that has evolved over many lifetimes. And, speaking of lifetimes, let’s now address the metaphysical nature of these energies.
The Metaphysics of the Dual Energy Types
It recently dawned upon me that our relationship with the universe is also in perfect yin-yang harmony. How?
When we surrender, we act as the feminine energy and allow the universe to take control as the masculine. This is what we call allowing Divine Intervention into our lives.
But for most of us, most of the time, we live as masculine energy. We actively try to make life work our way. At such times, the Universe is receptive and flowing through the course of our actions. Thus, allowing us to be co-creators and thus itself being the feminine in this dynamic. And at that time, we are also enjoying our free will.
Thus, perfect harmony. Mystical, isn’t it?!
What Ancient Science Say About Duality
The Hindu mythology talks about Ardhnarishwar, half man and half woman. This Divine Being embodied both energies, and then was split in half to begin life on Earth. The split happened forming the first man, Shiva and first woman, Shakti, as we worship them today.
Which is why the world says opposites attract. We’re attracting the polarity in every person, trying to feel whole through their presence in our life. And we spend most of this life collecting the missing aspects from our energy.
It is also said that the masculine and feminine energies reside in two of our 72,000 energy channels. These two channels are called Ida and Pingala.
They originate from your second chakra, the Sacral Energy Center. And they are the source of your experience of the duality of life. Then, they diverge and spiral up your Chakra System, finally meeting again at the Third Eye Chakra.
When we work on harmonizing these polarities, we experience our Kundalini energy rising through the Sushumna. This is the straight path enmeshed between Ida and Pingala, connecting straight up through the chakras.
The Sushumna also meets the two energies at the Third Eye Chakra.
Thus, Kundalini Energy can simply be explained as Shakti, the energy at the root of existence rising to meet Shiva, at the crown of oneness. Ultimately becoming everything and then, nothing.
And, when we talk about inner union, we embody Ardhnarishwar. Here, our left half is the feminine and right is the masculine energy.
What Modern Science Says About Duality
Through books like Journey of Souls, we get another glimpse of the complexity of the human-soul design. Dr Michael uncovered countless metaphysical insights through thousands of afterlife regression sessions.
Some of my key findings around our duality and polar energies are:
- Souls do not have a gender, but merely pick a body type and play out the role. The more frequently they embody a certain role, the better they get at it.
- So, over time, each soul develops a preference to be born with a certain biological gender. They can even plan out their lives according to such preferences. Dr Michael claims that we roughly pick the same gender 70% of the time.
- When souls incarnate in the opposite gender, they can find it challenging to act as such. This is often seen as a difficult lifetime, but one that brings deeper evolution.
Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus is another fantastic introspection into our differing needs, and how we can better understand our partners of the opposite polarity. There were many spiritual key takeaways from this book, something which I’m saving for another post. So stay tuned! *wink*
Why Is It Important to Balance the Masculine and Feminine Energy?
Our ultimate goal for self-awareness is in realizing that we already ARE everything we need. But the number one obstacle we face, which prevents us from knowing this truth, is being driven by our human desire to have a partner to fulfill us.
No, I’m not saying you shouldn’t get married. You absolutely should if that’s your heart’s desire. But we need to understand the essence of partnership beyond self-gratification, having sex or making babies.
Subconsciously, we expect that attracting the person of an opposite energy type will give us the feeling of fulfillment.
But by balancing your ida and pingala, you begin internalizing and embodying EVERY human trait. You no longer limit yourself to a gender or societal role.
If you’re not seeking fulfilment outwards, you are able to show up in relationships as a happy, healthy and detached yet loving person.
When you are self-sufficient, you stop craving relationships to complete you. You are no longer a ‘half’.
And nothing is ‘missing’ in you.
This is a significant aspect of inner union.
Can you imagine the divinity that unfolds from such relationships where there’s no insecurity, neediness nor attachment? Such relationships can shift the reality for everyone around them, and be of true service to the world.
In order to be such a couple, you must begin with yourself. Begin by going within. Evaluate your duality, and bridge your gaps, to level out the imbalance. How? Read on!
The Divine Masculine energy embodies the following key traits:
- Active, alert and contributing to the moment,
- Takes initiative, likes to lead, pursue and bring changes,
- Feeling confident and secure in oneself, willing to take risks,
- Well-groomed, disciplined and able to manage things well,
- Bold and courageous, able to take charge in situations.
Signs of Imbalance
Your masculine energy is wounded, if you experience any of these signs:
- Pushy, cold-hearted or dominating,
- Relationships are transactional and logic based,
- Low self-esteem and lack of confidence,
- Scared, feeling unsafe in the world, aloof,
- Confused, all over the place, lacking clarity,
- Procrastinating, afraid to take action.
5 Ways to Consciously Balance the Masculine Energy
#1 – Become comfortable in your own skin.
For me, knowing that there’s no such thing as “right” or “wrong” helped me grow confident in my decisions. And once I started valuing my uniqueness and equally unique thought-process, it helped build my self-esteem.
#2 – Balance your chakras.
I love how interrelated the two modalities have been in my journey. I enjoy flowing between the two, in my explanation of self-healing tools. For the masculine energy, based on the signs we discussed above, there are two chakras that stand out.
One is the Solar Plexus, which fuels our sense of self, and helps us take inspired actions. If your solar plexus isn’t in balance, you’re going to procrastinate.
And second, is the Heart Chakra. It allows your relationships to stop being too transactional, and brings back that human touch people crave from you. This chakra helps heal both aspects of our energy, and is therefore a quick fix! Well, at least relatively speaking.
#3 – Be more accountable and take ownership for life.
When you’re wounded, you want to feel sorry for yourself and throw a pity-party. And it becomes convenient by shifting the blame to an external factor. It could be someone or something’s fault that you’re hurt. But if you want to be empowered, lead your life (and guide others), it’s important to become accountable.
Accountable for your reaction, for your actions and choices, and for the way you are experiencing life as a consequence.
A few examples could be:
- If a plan to meet friends didn’t work out, be proactive and create a new plan,
- When you’ve had an argument, be the first one to clean the air and disperse the tension,
- If you’re often considered irresponsible, or laid-back, start taking up more responsibility,
- When you’re having a bad day, don’t use other people as a punching bag. Instead sit down with yourself, process the feelings and switch up the mood.
#4 – Develop your discipline.
Maybe you have a tough time continuing a new habit after the motivation fizzles out. You need to realize that motivation is for starting something, but it takes discipline to keep going.
Personally, I recommend reading the book Atomic Habits by James Clear. This book single-handedly taught me how to become more structured in my day-to-day habits.
#5 – Tune into your emotions.
The masculine energy doesn’t know how to process emotions because it’s about agility and “what-next”. So if you have a tough time being empathetic towards others, or expressing your emotions, try:
- Journaling how different events from the day or past made you feel,
- Have conversations where you are NOT giving advice, but simply listening,
- Be open and vulnerable, sharing a little more than you allow yourself to,
- Write letters and express your love and gratitude to people.
The Divine Feminine energy embodies the following characteristics:
- Soft, nurturing and gentle,
- In tune with physical body and emotions,
- Willingness to receive love, to be led, and to be pursued,
- Expressive and non-judgmental to listen to others problems to,
- Graceful, easy-going and able to surrender,
- Secure in oneself and able to love generously (open Heart Chakra).
Signs of Imbalance
Your feminine energy is wounded, if you experience any of these signs:
- Over-giving and overcompensating in relationships (people-pleasing),
- Dogmatic, self-opinionated, unable to accept change,
- Overly active and unable to just ‘be’,
- Heavily identified with own emotions and as a consequence getting carried away by them,
- Neediness and self-doubt, demanding love because you feel unworthy,
- Jealous of what another gets, not believing you’re worthy of receiving,
5 Ways to Consciously Balance the Feminine Energy
#1 – Enjoy the act of surrendering and receiving.
For some people, it’s just too hard to let anyone else plan for the vacation.
Or to be on the receiving end of a gift.
Or to be ‘unproductive’.
If any of that sounds like you, you now know why! You’re all about the doing, and need to learn to BE. Otherwise, you might experience physical symptoms of fatigue, and mental exhaustion.
Caveat: A wounded masculine does NOT mean you’re being feminine in your energy. Or vice versa. Procrastination isn’t the same as surrendering, for instance.
The universe has its ways. If you haven’t experienced a miracle yet, it’s because you haven’t surrendered. The energy of surrendering means we are willing to receive what’s in store for us. And we aren’t going to micromanage as it happens!
How can you begin to surrender? In your day-to-day activities. Here’s a full list of practical tips to help you learn to let the control go.
#2 – Stop conforming.
Feminine energy is at its highest when it’s easy flowing. And therefore it shouldn’t be boxed or caged, but rather constantly in motion, constantly expanding. Constantly exploring oneself. What are some ways to unbox your feminine energy?
- Wear looser, flowing clothes, like dresses. Or clothes that represent nature, with florals and bright colors.
- Move more, be less rigid.
- Don’t be shy to try new things, to do the unthinkable.
#3 – Give birth.
It doesn’t have to be a human child, it can be your brain’s child. A project, an idea, a recipe, a piece of art…. Anything that harnesses your creative energy and helps you express yourself is helping you tap into the divine feminine.
#4 – Be in more tune with your body.
Are you often living in your head, daydreaming? Not only is that a sign of a blocked root chakra, it’s indicative of a lacking feminine energy. So what can you do? You ground yourself!
- Every morning, ask yourself how you’re feeling, and run a mental scan over your body to see how it feels.
- Physical activities like yoga, running and dancing are great too.
- Be more aware of your physical senses. Practice grounding techniques to help you.
- Pay more attention to your physical appearance. In today’s day and age, the best example is a blog like this. Sure, it can have great content but would you still read it if it weren’t presentable? How you look is an extension of who you are, so don’t undermine how you show up in the world.
#5 – Claim your space.
Being in tune with feelings, with emotions and the body is what will help you figure out your own needs. And then, you need to claim your space in the universe.
- Be yourself, your absolute authentic and unapologetic self,
- Be more vulnerable and allow your good AND bad to be expressed without trying to ‘look good’,
- Stop people-pleasing and being a doormat,
- Set up healthier relationships boundaries where you can continue practicing being yourself.
And another simple way to create inner balance is by identifying opposite energies around you, that you look up to.
It could be the values in your partner, a friend, or your parents. As you observe them, begin embodying their traits consciously.
Go Deeper Into Balancing Your Energies
Though I’m a female, my default energy type is that of the masculine. In the early stages of my awakening, I noticed that in uncomfortable situations, I would pick masculinity as a response. What’s your default?
Like that, there are a number of other self-reflecting questions in this healing space that you can delve into, such as –
- Why am I more comfortable being one energy type over the other?
- Do I have shame or fear held in my body towards the opposite energy?
- What stereotypes can I let go of that will help me embrace my masculine and feminine energy wholeheartedly?
Having worked on this space intensely myself, I share my tools and experiences in one-on-one coaching. You’re welcome to get in touch!
I’ve also done an interview recently, answering more questions about the feminine and masculine energies, here. Do explore that as well.
Isn’t it beautiful that the two aspects of gender are actually a complex blend within each of us! Then why the stereotypes?
Here, we discuss a very brief, foundation-setting introduction to the masculine and feminine energy. However, as you work inwards, deeper and deeper, you will realize many other wounds open up. And you can continue healing them through your conscious efforts.
All leading to the inner union we so dearly seek.
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