7 Spiritual Facts About Your Annoying Relationship

Why are some people impossible to tolerate? Looking into the role of annoying people, both spiritually and psychologically.

Why are some people impossible to tolerate? Looking into the role of an annoying relationship in our life, both spiritually and psychologically.

Side Note : I have been meaning to write this one, since about two years, now. Time I finally got to it.

If it’s someone at work, sure you can always deal with their less-than-healthy behaviour and manage this situation to an extent, as I’ve talked about in the recent post, How to Deal with Toxic People.

But sometimes those people can be our partner, or our parents. Then what do you do? And you can’t just go around avoiding everyone, you would have nobody left.

It’s easy to become defensive and say “I don’t need anybody”, but that’s just ego talk. So, to bring true inner change, here are a couple of perspectives I want to share.

#1 – The more someone pushes your buttons, the more tightly-knit your spiritual bond is.

Every single person in your life is there for a very specific reason, and even the irritating ones are NOT by chance.

Man And Woman Wearing Brown Leather Jackets, Fight, Argue, Relationships, Annoying People

The people you resist the most can also teach you the most about your own shortcomings. They bring many deeply-effecting lessons.

They have soul contracts to treat you in a certain way (because they are the best candidate to stir you in this said way, based on their own spiritual evolution) to help you heal parts of you that are getting triggered right now when they so-called ‘push your buttons’.

#2 – You can escape the relation, not the lesson.

You can abruptly end one relationship, but if you don’t deal with the lessons it brought, that behaviour will keep resurfacing for you.

There’s a reason why people now have even 2 or 3 divorces, as a bad example. There’s something within their story that they are unwilling to heal,because of which it keeps coming back with a new face.

Leuchtkasten, Shield, Output, Note, Exit, Escape, Breakup

#3 – Many times, relations of different types will form similar patterns.

That means, you will have the same issues over and over again – the reason may be different on the surface but the core lesson will be the same.

Some patterns may include the side effects of being a people-pleaser, or not being able to accept people without judging them. Or learning how to not give unsolicited advice.

#4 – In the annoying relationship, YOU may have a karmic debt to this person.

Though I don’t like to classify souls as old or new, it can be seen that some souls have a tougher time living the human experience than others. They may be physically unwell all the time, or have a lot of emotional and mental disturbance. And so, they need help to get by.

Sometimes, we sign up for caretaker roles in others lives.

Woman on Black Folding Wheelchair, Healthy Relationships, Helpful, Happiness

Our contribution is larger than what we are getting in return, it seems. But what does this teach us? It helps us understand the importance of giving back, without always being able to receive anything in return. This is a great and tough way to experience the law of Divine Compensation.

#5 – At a soul-level, nobody is really a bad person.

As difficult as that is to believe when a relationship is so annoying, it gets on your nerves. But, just think of it. We are the sum of everything that has ever happened to us. Nobody is the way they are without a reason.

We learn from our parents, society, personal traumas etc. When hitting your head against the wall about why someone treated you in a certain way, think from THEIR perspective. If we can stop taking things personally, we will be able to react a lot less.

Woman Holding Her Head, Angry, Emotions, Sentiments, Trauma, Annoying People

We have to stop feeling threatened and cultivate the space that lets us treat others with compassion even in ugly situations. Which brings me to my next point.

#6 – Someone’s behaviour isn’t about you, it’s about them.

What you are feeling as a consequence of their behaviour, is about you. This is the mirror exercise. I learned this when I was working on my Twin Flame Healing, but it applies to life in general.

So start using the emotions that arise in you to heal your deeper-rooted wounds. Instead of focusing on the question why are they doing this to you, determine why its effecting you.

Woman Standing In Front Of Mirror, Reflection, Self Discovery, Self Awareness, Annoying People

#7 – People’s inability to love you back doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you.

It doesn’t mean you deserve this perpetually.
It also doesn’t mean you love ‘too much’.

Concluding Thoughts

All this being said, the conclusion is quite evident. An annoying relationship can have a huge karmic role to play in our life.

Everything happens for you to evolve. You can either be fussy and bitter about it, or you can become accountable and rapidly change everything for the better.

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Telepathy : Is Mind-Reading Real?

Is telepathy a coincidence or real? How does mind-reading work? Can we choose our thoughts? And more.

The corniest example of ‘telepathy’ can be seen in couples that seem to know what the other is thinking, even before something is said.

Some other hopefully relatable examples of telepathy, that happened to me over the last couple of days are :

  • Wanting to eat a specific food, and my mom preparing it for dinner, without me mentioning it to her!
  • Walking with a friend, and thinking about ending the walk, only to find them saying so too.
  • On a long drive, thinking about halting for a pee-break, and another friend immediately saying the same thing aloud.
  • Thinking about drinking water and my roommate handing my a water bottle in the very next moment.

It makes you wonder – did we get lucky in the moment, or is something deeper happening which we can’t explain because we don’t understand?

Dice, Double, Six, Gamble, Game, Lucky

Is Telepathy a Coincidence or Real?

Let’s take a step back and talk about the origin of our thoughts.

Have you ever noticed where your thought originated from? Sometimes, we latch onto a thought and begin creating more thoughts generated from this original thought.

For example, one day, you might wonder what you will have for dinner, and then immediately remember you haven’t met your friend in a while, so you should plan dinner together sometime.

So then, you wonder why your friend hasn’t talked to you in a while.

And then, you create your own conclusions about how they’ve ‘changed’ or that they’re probably mad at you. BAM!

Broken dinner plans for tonight.

Broken, Heart, Love, Red, Romance

Now you’re in a bad mood, perhaps even experiencing a trigger of abandonment issues. You may continue to think more disappointing thoughts now.

It’s an endless cycle, you see? And in this case – a downward spiral.

As Buddha says, we are not our thoughts. Thoughts come and go. So what is happening?

Based on the frequency that we are functioning on at a given point of time, a Thought Bubble (as Eckhart Tolle calls them) will be interpreted accordingly. So if you’re already in a bad mood, no matter what thought bubble you catch, your inner filter will make you feel worse.

What is the relation between Thought Bubbles with Telepathy?

When two people spend time together, and are getting along well – their frequency is beginning to align. Therefore, for the different thought bubbles, sometimes, two people may catch the same one at the same time, and look at it in the same way.

Dark, Fireworks, Hands, Lights, Macro, Connection, Spark, Telepathy

Which leads me to the next question.

Can You Choose Your Thoughts?

While in meditation you are asked to observe your thoughts, it is difficult to continue observation throughout the day when you’re more actively involved in activities.

What you can do, however, is to stay conscious of the frequency you are in.

Brain, Mind, Psychology, Idea, Drawing, Thoughts, Telepathy

Don’t monitor your thoughts, instead, monitor your response to your thoughts. Your body language, your mood, your inner turmoil should be very obvious indicators of the frequency you are operating in.

Read more : 5 Things You Can Do To Be More Happy on a Daily Basis

That’s how people that practice gratitude are more likely to find something good in everything.

Closing Thoughts (pun intended)

An original thought is neutral. Your inner filter is what makes it positive or negative. Therefore, you should and can be in absolute control of your thoughts, by being mindful of the filter that processes them.

And now we know, there’s nothing woo-woo when two people share the same thought bubbles. Telepathy is infact a beautiful form of the Universe’s synchroncities.

Be grateful for these little winks from the cosmos, telling you, you are in alignment with existence. 🙂

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Hacking Resentment in Relationships

An informal dialogue-style post with a list of thought-provoking questions on resentment in relationships, and their answers. Come read!

My friend and I were invested in one of our infamous ‘late-night’ speculations of relationships, when she asked a very innocent and valid question about resentment.

Just like the time before when we talked about detachment, that’s how this post came to birth. It is largely channelled, also something I talked more about in the former post of this type.

“Forgive, but don’t forget” is the advice I had given her, when she confessed she still holds a lot of resentment towards her partner.

The Dialogue on Resentment

What does not forgetting give me? Isn’t that resentment in itself?

It helps you set boundaries;
the things you are willing to accept or not.

But how do we forgive, if we are still remembering (not forgetting) it?

You hold resentment because you feel bad it happened to you.
How dare HE/SHE do that to you.
But you can let it go, by realising that it was YOU that allowed it to happen to you.

You don’t just forgive the other person, you also forgive yourself, for allowing something to have happened to you – to have been so deeply painful and for not knowing better sooner,

And you forgiving him does not mean he can do it again.
It means you forgive it happened before, but you make it clear that it can not happen again.
This is the basis of a HEALTHY BOUNDARY.

When you have a solid boundary, when you stand up for yourself, or make it clear that you’re not comfortable with whatever is going on, you are able to prevent mistreatment to a large extent.

And even if the behaviour persists, because you have become more conscious and intolerant for it, there are repercussions for the misdo-er, so you waste less time giving second/third/infinity chances and being heartbroken.

The repercussions could be as simple as not-talking for a certain duration, or stronger steps such as breaking off the relationship.

That makes sense. But the thing is, if there are repercussions, it effects both of us. If there’s a fight or breakup, I suffer too. So basically both suffer, for the misbehaviour of one.

It gets better with time for a simple reason.
He cannot do to you, what will no longer effect you.
That is how the Universe works, that’s why we are given Spiritual Contracts in our relationships, and that’s how they improve.
We learn from our partner, and we bring a SHIFT in our dynamic once the lesson has been learned.

A simple self-reflection on boundaries is a clear win out of resentment, and into healthier relationships.

I address more about Healthy Boundaries in relationships, here. Also, if you’d like to understand more about Spiritual Contracts, this post will be helpful.

Happy evolving! 🙂

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resentful, resentment,

Cover Photo by Zdeněk Macháček