Masculine and Feminine Energy Balance : How to Find True Inner Union

Why is it important to balance the feminine and masculine energy for true inner union? What are signs of imbalance? How can we balance the ida and pingala?

It’s interesting to explore the many dimensions and modalities that can help you become self-aware. Learning about your masculine and feminine energy can be a significant step towards inner union. This post is dedicated to helping you understand how.

Now, you must be wondering, if you’re a guy, you must be masculine energy? Or if you’re a girl, you would be feminine? WRONG!

An Introduction To The Masculine & Feminine Energy

Let’s get the first misconception out of the way.

We ALL have feminine AND masculine energy within us. It is not limited to one’s appearance or gender.

There can, ofcourse, be degrees of masculinity and femininity, which determine our behavior on a day-to-day basis. For example:

  • Enjoying giving gifts versus receiving gifts,
  • Being able to multitask versus being focused and single-pointed,
  • Being emotional versus being logical,
  • Leading projects and pursuing people, versus being lead or pursued,
  • Doing versus being,
  • And so on.

Were you able to notice some of these qualities in both the men and women of your life? And within yourself as well, you may notice a unique mix!

Ofcourse, you’re not necessarily always the same way. Different situations bring out different aspects of your individuality. Therefore, throughout life, you experience the yin-yang nature of energies.

Yin And Yang, Fire, Water, Hand, masculine and feminine energy

It’s also important to understand that if you identify as a masculine woman or feminine man, it’s not a sign of weakness. Nor something to be ashamed of. It is infact, very natural and has much deeper roots!

This is your soul’s preference that has evolved over many lifetimes. And, speaking of lifetimes, let’s now address the metaphysical nature of these energies.

The Metaphysics of the Dual Energy Types

It recently dawned upon me, that our relationship with the universe is also in perfect yin-yang harmony. How?

When we surrender, we act as the feminine energy and allow the universe to take control as the masculine. This is what we call allowing Divine Intervention into our lives.

But for most of us, most of the time, we live as masculine energy. We actively try to make life work our way. At such times, the Universe is receptive and flowing through the course of our actions. Thus, allowing us to be co-creators and thus itself being the feminine in this dynamic. And at that time, we are also enjoying our free will.

Thus, perfect harmony. Mystical, isn’t it?!

What Ancient Science Say About Duality

The Hindu mythology talks about Ardhnarishwar, half man and half woman. This Divine Being embodied both energies, and then was split in half to begin life on Earth. The split happened forming the first man, Shiva and first woman, Shakti, as we worship them today.

MahaShivratri 2019 : Ardhnarishwar Temples in India - PenPaperHeart, masculine and feminine energy
Image courtesy : PenPaperHeart

Which is why the world says opposites attract. We’re attracting the polarity in every person, trying to feel whole through their presence in our life. And we spend most of this life collecting the missing aspects from our energy.

It is also said that the masculine and feminine energies reside in two of our 72,000 energy channels. These two channels are called Ida and Pingala.

They originate from your second chakra, the Sacral Energy Center. And they are the source of your experience of the duality of life. Then, they diverge and spiral up your Chakra System, finally meeting again at the Third Eye Chakra.

When we work on harmonizing these polarities, we experience our Kundalini energy rising through the Sushumna. This is the straight path enmeshed between Ida and Pingala, connecting straight up through the chakras.

The Sushumna also meets the two energies at the Third Eye Chakra.

Thus, Kundalini Energy can simply be explained as Shakti, the energy at the root of existence rising to meet Shiva, at the crown of oneness. Ultimately becoming everything and then, nothing.

And, when we talk about inner union, we embody Ardhnarishwar. Here, our left half is the feminine and right is the masculine energy.

What Modern Science Says About Duality

Through books like Journey of Souls, we get another glimpse of the complexity of the human-soul design. Dr Michael uncovered countless metaphysical insights through thousands of afterlife regression sessions.

Candle, Guy, Young, Man, Male, Adult

Some of my key findings around our duality and polar energies are:

  • Souls do not have a gender, but merely pick a body type and play out the role. The more frequently they embody a certain role, the better they get at it.
  • So, over time, each soul develops a preference to be born with a certain biological gender. They can even plan out their lives according to such preferences. Dr Michael claims that we roughly pick the same gender 70% of the time.
  • When souls incarnate in the opposite gender, they can find it challenging to act as such. This is often seen as a difficult lifetime, but one that brings deeper evolution.

Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus is another fantastic introspection into our differing needs, and how we can better understand our partners of the opposite polarity. There were many spiritual key takeaways from this book, something which I’m saving for another post. So stay tuned! *wink*

Why Is It Important to Balance the Masculine and Feminine Energy?

Our ultimate goal for self-awareness, is in realizing that we already ARE everything we need. But the number one obstacle we face, which prevents us from knowing this truth, is being driven by our human desire to have a partner to fulfill us.

No, I’m not saying you shouldn’t get married. You absolutely should if that’s your heart’s desire. But we need to understand the essence of partnership beyond self-gratification, having sex or making babies.

Wedding Rings, Engagement Rings, Marriage, Union, Divine Relationships

Subconsciously, we expect that attracting the person of an opposite energy type will give us the feeling of fulfillment.

But by balancing your ida and pingala, you begin internalizing and embodying EVERY human trait. You no longer limit yourself to a gender or societal role.

If you’re not seeking fulfilment outwards, you are able to show up in relationships as a happy, healthy and detached yet loving person.

When you are self-sufficient, you stop craving relationships to complete you. You are no longer a ‘half’.
And nothing is ‘missing’ in you.
This is a significant aspect of inner union.

Can you imagine the divinity that unfolds from such relationships where there’s no insecurity, neediness nor attachment? Such relationships can shift the reality for everyone around them, and be of true service to the world.

In order to be such a couple, you must begin with yourself. Begin by going within. Evaluate your duality, and bridge your gaps, to level out the imbalance. How? Read on!

Masculine Energy

Masculine Energy, Man On Round Blue Floral Mat

Key Characteristics

The Divine Masculine energy embodies the following key traits:

  • Active, alert and contributing to the moment,
  • Takes initiative, likes to lead, pursue and bring changes,
  • Feeling confident and secure in oneself, willing to take risks,
  • Well-groomed, disciplined and able to manage things well,
  • Bold and courageous, able to take charge in situations.

Signs of Imbalance

Your masculine energy is wounded, if you experience any of these signs:

  • Pushy, cold-hearted or dominating,
  • Relationships are transactional and logic based,
  • Low self-esteem and lack of confidence,
  • Scared, feeling unsafe in the world, aloof,
  • Confused, all over the place, lacking clarity,
  • Procrastinating, afraid to take action.

5 Ways to Consciously Balance the Masculine Energy

#1 – Become comfortable in your own skin.

For me, knowing that there’s no such thing as “right” or “wrong” helped me grow confident in my decisions. And once I started valuing my uniqueness and equally unique thought-process, it helped build my self-esteem.

Self-esteem, confidence, self-love, joy, happiness, jump, excited, photography, bridge

#2 – Balance your chakras.

I love how interrelated the two modalities have been in my journey. I enjoy flowing between the two, in my explanation of self-healing tools. For the masculine energy, based on the signs we discussed above, there are two chakras that stand out.

One is the Solar Plexus, which fuels our sense of self, and helps us take inspired actions. If your solar plexus isn’t in balance, you’re going to procrastinate.

And second, is the Heart Chakra. It allows your relationships to stop being too transactional, and brings back that human touch people crave from you. This chakra helps heal both aspects of our energy, and is therefore a quick fix! Well, atleast relatively speaking. 🙂

#3 – Be more accountable and take ownership for life.

When you’re wounded, you want to feel sorry for yourself and throw a pity-party. And it becomes convenient by shift the blame to an external factor. It could be someone or something’s fault that you’re hurt. But if you want to be empowered, lead your life (and guide others), it’s important to become accountable.

Man Wearing Gray Top Fixing Red Necktie

Accountable for your reaction, for your actions and choices, and for the way you are experiencing life as a consequence.

A few examples could be:

  • If a plan to meet friends didn’t work out, be proactive and create a new plan,
  • When you’ve had an argument, be the first one to clean the air and disperse the tension,
  • If you’re often considered irresponsible, or laid-back, start taking up more responsibility,
  • When you’re having a bad day, don’t use other people as a punching bag. Instead sit down with yourself, process the feelings and switch up the mood.

#4 – Develop your discipline.

Maybe you have a tough time continuing a new habit after the motivation fizzles out. You need to realize that motivation is for starting something, but it takes discipline to keep going.

Personally, I recommend reading the book Atomic Habits by James Clear. This book single-handedly taught me how to become more structured in my day-to-day habits.

#5 – Tune into your emotions.

The masculine energy doesn’t know how to process emotions because it’s about agility and “what-next”. So if you have a tough time being empathetic towards others, or expressing your emotions, try:

  • Journaling how different events from the day or past made you feel,
  • Have conversations where you are NOT giving advice, but simply listening,
  • Be open and vulnerable, sharing a little more than you allow yourself to,
  • Write letters and express your love and gratitude to people.

Feminine Energy

two women bending while holding hands, feminine energy

Key Characteristics

The Divine Feminine energy embodies the following characteristics:

  • Soft, nurturing and gentle,
  • In tune with physical body and emotions,
  • Willingness to receive love, to be led, and to be pursued,
  • Expressive and non-judgmental to listen to others problems to,
  • Graceful, easy-going and able to surrender,
  • Secure in oneself and able to love generously (open Heart Chakra).

Signs of Imbalance

Your feminine energy is wounded, if you experience any of these signs:

  • Over-giving and overcompensating in relationships (people-pleasing),
  • Dogmatic, self-opinionated, unable to accept change,
  • Overly active and unable to just ‘be’,
  • Heavily identified with own emotions and as a consequence getting carried away by them,
  • Neediness and self-doubt, demanding love because you feel unworthy,
  • Jealous of what another gets, not believing you’re worthy of receiving,

5 Ways to Consciously Balance the Feminine Energy

#1 – Enjoy the act of surrendering and receiving.

For some people, it’s just too hard to let anyone else plan for the vacation.
Or to be on the receiving end of a gift.
Or to be ‘unproductive’.

If any of that sound like you, you now know why! You’re all about the doing, and need to learn to BE. Otherwise, you might experience physical symptoms of fatigue, and mental exhaustion.

Caveat: A wounded masculine does NOT mean you’re being feminine in your energy. Or vice versa. Procrastination isn’t the same as surrendering, for instance.

trust, surrender, let go, free yourself

The universe has its ways. If you haven’t experienced a miracle yet, it’s because you haven’t surrendered. The energy of surrendering means we are willing to receive what’s in store for us. And we aren’t going to micromanage as it happens!

How can you begin to surrender? In your day-to-day activities. Here’s a full list of practical tips to help you learn to let the control go.

#2 – Stop conforming.

Feminine energy is at its highest when it’s easy flowing. And therefore it shouldn’t be boxed or caged, but rather constantly in motion, constantly expanding. Constantly exploring oneself. What are some ways to unbox your feminine energy?

  • Wear looser, flowing clothes, like dresses. Or clothes that represent nature, with florals and bright colors.
  • Move more, be less rigid.
  • Don’t be shy to try new things, to do the unthinkable.

#3 – Give birth.

It doesn’t have to be a human child, it can be your brain’s child. A project, an idea, a recipe, a piece of art…. Anything that harnesses your creative energy and helps you express yourself is helping you tap into the divine feminine.

Workshop, Instrument, Wood, Craftsman, Creative Energy, Talented

#4 – Be in more tune with your body.

Are you often living in your head, daydreaming? Not only is that a sign of a blocked root chakra, it’s indicative of a lacking feminine energy. So what can you do? You ground yourself!

  • Every morning, ask yourself how you’re feeling, and run a mental scan over your body to see how it feels.
  • Physical activities like yoga, running and dancing are great too.
  • Be more aware of your physical senses. Practice grounding techniques to help you.
  • Pay more attention to your physical appearance. In today’s day and age, the best example is a blog like this. Sure, it can have great content but would you still read it if it weren’t presentable? How you look is an extension of who you are, so don’t undermine how you show up in the world.

#5 – Claim your space.

Being intune with feelings, with emotions and the body is what will help you figure out your own needs. And then, you need to claim your space in the universe.

Woman Kneeling on Shoreline, self-love

Here’s how:

  • Be yourself, your absolute authentic and unapologetic self,
  • Be more vulnerable and allow your good AND bad to be expressed without trying to ‘look good’,
  • Stop people-pleasing and being a doormat,
  • Set up healthier relationships boundaries where you can continue practicing being yourself.

General Tip

And another simple way to create inner balance is by identifying opposite energies around you, that you look upto.

It could be the values in your partner, a friend, or your parents. As you observe them, begin embodying their traits consciously.

Concluding Thoughts

Isn’t it beautiful that the two aspects of gender are actually a complex blend within each of us! Then why the stereotypes?

Here, we discuss a very brief, foundation-setting introduction to the masculine and feminine energy. However, as you work inwards, deeper and deeper, you will realize many other wounds open up. And you can continue healing them through your conscious efforts.

All leading to the inner union we so dearly seek. 🙂


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7 Spiritual Facts About Your Annoying Relationship

Why are some people impossible to tolerate? Looking into the role of annoying people, both spiritually and psychologically.

Why are some people impossible to tolerate? Looking into the role of an annoying relationship in our life, both spiritually and psychologically.

Side Note : I have been meaning to write this one, since about two years, now. Time I finally got to it.

If it’s someone at work, sure you can always deal with their less-than-healthy behaviour and manage this situation to an extent, as I’ve talked about in the recent post, How to Deal with Toxic People.

But sometimes those people can be our partner, or our parents. Then what do you do? And you can’t just go around avoiding everyone, you would have nobody left.

It’s easy to become defensive and say “I don’t need anybody”, but that’s just ego talk. So, to bring true inner change, here are a couple of perspectives I want to share.

#1 – The more someone pushes your buttons, the more tightly-knit your spiritual bond is.

Every single person in your life is there for a very specific reason, and even the irritating ones are NOT by chance.

Man And Woman Wearing Brown Leather Jackets, Fight, Argue, Relationships, Annoying People

The people you resist the most can also teach you the most about your own shortcomings. They bring many deeply-effecting lessons.

They have soul contracts to treat you in a certain way (because they are the best candidate to stir you in this said way, based on their own spiritual evolution) to help you heal parts of you that are getting triggered right now when they so-called ‘push your buttons’.

#2 – You can escape the relation, not the lesson.

You can abruptly end one relationship, but if you don’t deal with the lessons it brought, that behaviour will keep resurfacing for you.

There’s a reason why people now have even 2 or 3 divorces, as a bad example. There’s something within their story that they are unwilling to heal,because of which it keeps coming back with a new face.

However, if you still want to consider ending the relationship with someone, check this video out first, called Should I Break Up?

#3 – Many times, relations of different types will form similar patterns.

That means, you will have the same issues over and over again – the reason may be different on the surface but the core lesson will be the same.

Some patterns may include the side effects of being a people-pleaser, or not being able to accept people without judging them. Or learning how to not give unsolicited advice.

Leuchtkasten, Shield, Output, Note, Exit, Escape, Breakup

#4 – In the annoying relationship, YOU may have a karmic debt to this person.

Though I don’t like to classify souls as old or new, it can be seen that some souls have a tougher time living the human experience than others. They may be physically unwell all the time, or have a lot of emotional and mental disturbance. And so, they need help to get by.

Sometimes, we sign up for caretaker roles in others lives.

Woman on Black Folding Wheelchair, Healthy Relationships, Helpful, Happiness

Our contribution is larger than what we are getting in return, it seems. But what does this teach us? It helps us understand the importance of giving back, without always being able to receive anything in return. This is a great and tough way to experience the law of Divine Compensation.

#5 – At a soul-level, nobody is really a bad person.

As difficult as that is to believe when a relationship is so annoying, it gets on your nerves. But, just think of it. We are the sum of everything that has ever happened to us. Nobody is the way they are without a reason.

We learn from our parents, society, personal traumas etc. When hitting your head against the wall about why someone treated you in a certain way, think from THEIR perspective. If we can stop taking things personally, we will be able to react a lot less.

Woman Holding Her Head, Angry, Emotions, Sentiments, Trauma, Annoying People

We have to stop feeling threatened and cultivate the space that lets us treat others with compassion even in ugly situations. Which brings me to my next point.

#6 – Someone’s behaviour isn’t about you, it’s about them.

What you are feeling as a consequence of their behaviour, is about you. This is the mirror exercise. I learned this when I was working on my Twin Flame Healing, but it applies to life in general.

So start using the emotions that arise in you to heal your deeper-rooted wounds. Instead of focusing on the question why are they doing this to you, determine why its effecting you.

Woman Standing In Front Of Mirror, Reflection, Self Discovery, Self Awareness, Annoying People

#7 – People’s inability to love you back doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you.

It doesn’t mean you deserve this perpetually.
It also doesn’t mean you love ‘too much’.

Concluding Thoughts

All this being said, the conclusion is quite evident. An annoying relationship can have a huge karmic role to play in our life.

Everything happens for you to evolve. You can either be fussy and bitter about it, or you can become accountable and rapidly change everything for the better.


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7 Spiritual Lessons You Can Learn From Annoying People

3 Reasons for Spiritual Loneliness, A Feeling You Don’t Belong Here

Some hard-hitting truths about “belonging here”, spiritual junkies, and more. Here are 3 reasons we experience spiritual loneliness.

It’s common for people spiritually inclined to start feeling disconnected from the world. I believe that 3 factors cause this spiritual loneliness. Working on these areas can help make our experience on Earth more wholesome once again, as it should be. So lets dive right in!

#1 – The ‘Illusion’ Mindset

One way I see this, and have personally been a victim of myself, is the ‘illusion’ mindset. This is messing with our heads in multiple ways. Here’s how.

Illusion #1 – We Are Not This Body

It’s true that we are not this body, and the body is only a vessel. But when you burn your finger, or hit your head, how do you go about believing this is an illusion?!

Plush Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear, Injury, Spiritual Loneliness, Disconnected from reality, physical health
It is most often in moments of pain, that the physical reality dawns upon us. Before that, we’re in our own worlds, in our own bubbles.

Then, my first question is, why should we reject this vessel? Or worse, misuse it, thinking that it is impermanent in nature?

Isn’t spirituality about respecting the entirety of existence – every cell, every molecule, every energy form?

Look after your physical body. Have more time for activities such as Yoga, gymming or a simple jog around the blog.

Illusion #2 – Everything material is ‘maya’

Not just the physical body. But when you’re focused on the spiritual aspect of your life, you automatically start feeling a disconnection from materialism.

For example, the car I drive is not an illusion, because it definitely does get me from one point to another. And every time I’ve had an accident, I’ve surely felt the impact of it in my very bones! But there was a time when I was the girl who freaked out and screamed at an auto-driver because he rammed his auto into my brand new car.

Auto, Vehicle, Automotive, Vw, Old, dent, scratch, broken, car, accident

Because of what I will propose in the solution soon, I am no longer attached to my car. I enjoy driving, and yes, it upsets me that all my hard-earned money is spent repairing the many scrapes that occur from driving on jam-packed Indian roads. But I am no longer that girl.

Illusion #3 – All Your Relationships are Temporary

Furthermore, the illusion mindset makes you disconnect from relations around you. When you start seeing everything as temporary, you force yourself to detach.

However, detachment, unless coming from a natural place is bound to give you the feeling of spiritual loneliness.

Read More : How to Stop Being an Emotional Sponge and Have More Detached Compassion

Illusion #4 – This Planet is Fake

And the most serious example of the implications of the illusion mindset, is people that aren’t worried this planet is under man-induced catastrophe that can wipe out our entire race. Why?

Because they believe that it’s temporary and that we’ll go live on another planet anyway. In other words, undermining the entire course of nature that got us to where we are. Hmm…

And so I come back to the question once again. Isn’t spirituality about respecting the very essence of everything, material and non-material?

It neither makes sense to ignore or call our experiences an illusion, and neither does it help to become overly obsessed with the things that deliver these experiences.

How do we find a balance though? We’ll get to that shortly. Let’s quickly talk about the second type of disconnect.

#2 – The Intergalactic Mindset

The second way in which I’ve seen the disconnection rise, is the growing talk in the community about people being starseeds, or coming from different planets to help the people on Earth.

Some believe that they’re from the future, or from a parallel reality and have been trapped into this version of life. Others even believe that there’s a matrix in place that prevents us from remembering our true state, and that aliens are helping us exit this matrix.

Ufo, Alien, Guy, Pozaziemianin, Ufoludek, spiritual loneliness
And while I respect all ideas and remain neutral about how true they are or not, ultimately we all come from the same source.

When we reminisce the potent planets we may have lived on in the past or that we’re better because we are NOT really human descendants, we are neither fully appreciating life on Earth.

Nor are we giving a fair chance to the opportunities we can take in the here and now, because we have layers of disapproval, resentment or even sadness about how the environment here is not what we want it to be.

And we are feeding our spiritual loneliness by trying to create spiritual qualifications, groups or hierarchies.

My philosophy is simple. No matter where you’ve come from and what paradise you’ve seen, now that you’re here, let’s try to make the most of it, eh?

#3 – Being on a Spiritual ‘High’

What could be so wrong with being on a Spiritual high, you might ask.

Desktop, Pill, Abstract, Addiction, Spiritual high, pretty capsules, colorful pills, sparkles, glitters, shiny

We feel better about ourselves, because hey, atleast we’re not sex-freaks or addicts, but are we really any better, if we ourselves are spiritual junkies? And you might even wonder, is there even such a thing as being too spiritual?

I’ll let you read more about this hard-hitting answer first, and come back to this post.

Even after reading the aforementioned post, you might not think you’re on a spiritual high, but there are always signs and symptoms that become prevalent.

The biggest sign is your lower chakras being out of balance.

Your lower chakras connect you to the physical realm, the higher chakras to the Spiritual realm, and your heart centers and anchors you to both!

The practice of balancing our chakras is essential, because it’s easy to get carried away and start renouncing so many of the human needs before we’re meant to. The worst effect is how disconnected we feel from EVERYONE and keep going on and on about how we’re ‘different’.

I mean think about it. Don’t you think something has to be off in our inner energies too? The whole of existence can’t be wrong, can it?

So, let’s talk about the solution now for all this talk about spiritual loneliness.


I will go into much more detail about Chakras in a future post, but major thing you need to understand today, is the need to align of your chakra system. This is quintessintial to make the most of every aspect of your being – Spiritual and Physical.

Chakra, Energy Centres, Body, Center, Balance, Yin Yang, Inner Peace, Spiritual Loneliness no more,

Some practical and easy techniques that I highly recommend from personal practice are :

  • Natural grounding practices like being in nature, around animals, playing with kids etc. to rebalance your lower chakras and help you feel more connected through your Root Chakra,
  • Meditating or wearing grounding crystals. Black tourmaline is one recommendation. Clear quartz and amethyst have worked well for me too.
As spiritually awakened beings, it is our responsibility to look after and optimize our use of the energy centers given to us. Not ignore them and fool around (neither spiritually nor materially).
Beer, Blotto, Comic, Court, Drinking, Fool around, joker, irresponsible

Don’t believe me? Sincerely try these techniques out for just 2 to 3 weeks, and you’ll experience the inner transformation yourself. Spiritual loneliness? No more. 🙂


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3 Reasons You Are Experiencing Spiritual Loneliness