Have you found yourself wondering why life is so challenging, or why you’ve been dealt a nasty hand of cards? Me too! And I’m so grateful to have gained clarity over the years for many of my questions about relationships, purpose, and life. Today, I want to share a special topic with you: soul contracts. This is a powerful concept that will hopefully answer many of the spiritual questions you’re stuck with.
So, what are soul contracts?
Before we are born on Earth, there is an incubation period.
It’s like a spiritual round-table conference! And the purpose is to help you decide which lessons you will learn in the life to come. You collaborate with other souls and take the help of your soul guides, to decide who is going to be a part of those lessons.
So for instance, to learn the act of forgiveness, someone must take responsibility for deeply hurting you. Thus providing you the choice to either forgive them or stay resentful.
To know how to be independent and strong, someone must ensure they abandon you at your worst hour. Thus, giving you the opportunity to either stand up for yourself or fall down and succumb to your circumstances.
Everyone you ever meet is a spiritual companion playing a phenomenal role that will help your soul’s growth. From a person that you talked to for a brief moment in the lift, to a beggar on the street, and from your parents to your partner, your ex, your children, and so on. They’re ALL here with you and for you.
And YOU have signed up too, to help them heal.
Even the most annoying relationships “down here” were intentionally designed “up there”!
And this design, my friend, is what we call soul contracts.
Are soul contracts unique?
Yes. Your spiritual journey on Earth is designed in a way that you can get the most spiritual growth out of it, every single time. While the underlying lessons will be the same for all of us, how we learn those lessons will be unique.
Someone might become the parent to a differently-abled child so that they can learn to take care of and love someone unconditionally. And they might have to keep taking care of the child for several years before they truly understand this lesson.
On the contrary, someone else might learn the lesson of unconditional love by having to deal with difficult siblings or a stubborn partner who makes a lot of bad choices.
That’s also why someone might have a financially booming career without putting in much effort, but suffer from acute illnesses due to self-neglect and die early. At the same time, another person who barely makes it through the days with a loaf of bread and water, yet manages to stay alive decades longer because they value their body and health.
The way our lives look on the surface can be different. And yet, at the end of the day, everything is being orchestrated for everyone’s spiritual development.
But why don’t we remember that we agreed to our soul contracts?
There are two aspects to answer this question:
When we incarnate here on Earth, we undergo something called Soul Amnesia.
Wait….what is that? And is it even true? If you’re like me and love metaphysical rabbit holes, you’ll love my 90-min deep-dive Masterclass on this subject.
But essentially, the consequence of our Soul Amnesia is that it prevents us from being overloaded with the past – it’s like a soft reset, giving us permission to start with a clean slate. Ultimately, what we do remember from our past, are the lessons we’ve learned.
And to a degree that’s true for present life as well. With a few exceptions, we don’t need to remember every little detail about day-to-day life. We might remember that a friend makes us feel good, but we don’t necessarily remember every single thing they have ever said to us.
Or in contrast, we might remember a “toxic relationship” but for all good measure, the mind mutes the traumatic details and mostly retains the boundaries we learned to place because of it.
This selective remembering in the body (and beyond it) is helpful because otherwise, we would constantly be triggered by our past and have very little capacity to live life in the present!
Now imagine if you had to carry all of the memories from several lifetimes? Boy, that would be something!
So, soul amnesia is helpful. Now let’s address the second aspect of the answer.
Free Will versus Soul Contracts
Yes, we are born with certain events and situations “written” into our blueprint.
But our free will also plays a big part in our spiritual development. Let’s explore how NOT remembering our soul contracts actually helps us execute our free will.
Here’s an example: Many of our romantic interests can be past life partners. But if we remember that, it can conflict with how we perceive them today! Let’s say your relationship didn’t end well in a past life. So, soul amnesia is helpful because when you meet this person again, it can be a reset for you two!
We want to be able to see everyone as they are in this lifetime, with evolution and all factored in. We don’t want to get stuck living with how things were ‘back then’.
Nuance: our intuition is also always there to guide us.
So a personal example. I had a sense while growing up that one of my uncles was not “safe” to be around. I did not have any direct evidence. But a decade later, in one of my past life regression sessions, I discovered that this uncle had been a toxic influence in a former lifetime. I could see that his soul had evolved from that time, however, he still had some tendencies that were preventing me from trusting him.
So, it’s not to say that we have absolutely forgotten the past.
And of course, just like I did, many people like to access their past lives or the afterlife, to ‘see’ the bigger picture. In fact, I myself am a Past Life & Soul Guide facilitator and believe that sometimes uncovering the past or connecting with the spiritual realm can unblock our success in this lifetime.
But for most parts, evolution is naturally designed for us to take the lessons and drop the story. Why bother biting more than we can chew until we’re ready for it?
“But why would my soul choose such a difficult life?!”
I hear you! When my spiritual journey was in the initial stage called the dark night of the soul, I would often cry in despair, hoping for some kind of ABORT MISSION code to be activated.
The truth I’ve discovered is that suffering happens the most where we resist the most.
By knowing that everything is an elaborate play, we can let go of the suffering our life and relationships bring us. We can instead start using our “pain” as a guiding light to the deeper wounds that are now surfacing and asking us to heal.
Because now, we can see that we’ve all decided to do this together. We’re here to build each other up even if it means, ironically, breaking each other down sometimes.
The good news is: we can speed up our spiritual growth by actively healing ourselves and learning the lessons this journey is offering to us.
How? For one, you have this blog – loaded with hundreds of articles, videos, classes, and 1:1 coaching to support your acceleration. If you’re not sure how to deal with a certain challenge and don’t find your answers here, I’m just an email away and would be happy to point you in other potential directions.
“Do I have to work on healing my soul contracts?”
Sometimes working on our healing can feel so exhausting! We might want to give up or spiral down into unhealthy patterns (like vengeance, desensitization, self-sabotage, etc).
I empathize with the struggle. And… there’s no easy “out”.
As long as the lesson is resisted, it will resurface over and over again. And every time with higher intensity, and higher urgency. If you manage to let the lesson pass you in this lifetime, you’ll have to take it up in the next.
This is one way to look at innocent children who take birth and die soon after, from grave illnesses.
Through their soul contracts, they had to grasp how to be taken care of when they are absolutely helpless and crippled. Perhaps because they held too much pride in their past lives to take favors.
So let’s put it this way – the only way out of it is going to be through it.
But don’t let that frighten you! I love what spiritual teacher, A H Almaas says to this:
“Your conflicts, all the difficult things, the problematic situations in your life, are not chance or haphazard, they are actually yours. They are specifically yours, designed specifically for you by a part of you that loves you more than anything.
That part of you that loves you more than anything else has created roadblocks to lead you to yourself. You’re not going to go in the right direction unless there’s something pricking you in the side saying “Look here, this way”. That part of you loves you so much that it doesn’t want you to lose the chance. It will go to extreme measures to wake you up. It will make you suffer greatly, if you don’t listen, what else can it do? That is its purpose.”
Essentially what he reiterates to us is that by embracing our soul’s plan and working on healing these planned lessons, we become powerful within! Enough to become unshakeable by the very challenges that once threw us off.
And THAT is the ultimate goal of this journey to Earth and back home.
Concluding Thoughts
I hope you enjoyed the in-depth way in which soul contracts have been explained here!
By changing our perspective on our relationships, we are able to free ourselves from feeling like this struggle is permanent or that we are inherently “unworthy”.
Understanding the deeper, spiritual implications of soul contracts helps us work towards healing and creating healthier relationships that we all get to celebrate – on Earth and in Heaven 😉
Vasundhra is the Founder & Writer of My Spiritual Shenanigans. After seeing 11:11 on the clock one fateful night, her life turned around. Ever since, she has been blending modern psychology and ancient spirituality, to help herself and people around the world elevate the quality of their lives.
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Very Well Explained, useful knowledge. <3
Happy to be of service! 💜
This has been so freaking helpful!! Literally had 3 breakthroughs and AHA moments reading this! Thank you for this. Sending love and light<3
So happy and excited for you! Happy healing dear one 🙂
Thank you so much for sharing this!
Happy to be of service to your learning, Kelly! 🙏🏻
Would my chronic health problems be a part of my soul contract, and am I permitted to break this contract?
Hi there Scrip! Though I’m not a medical professional, my spiritual understanding is that our health problems are a physical manifestation of unresolved energy blocks. Simple things like zits, and more intense suffering like cancer have all been shown to elevate through healing one’s spiritual side.
I also want to remind you of the larger truth in all this – we are not just the body. So we are beyond the perishable, and therefore, can invite in so much energy and power to heal whatever we intend to for ourselves.
No relationship or health problems are meant to be a ‘life sentence’ – they’re all calling us back to our infinite potential 🙂
Since my spiritual awakening, I have not actually given attention to the subject of Soul Contract. I am grateful that I come across this topic of Soul Contract and I appreciate Vasundhra for her heart-based way of writing. I really enjoyed reading this article. It is an eye-opener. Good job!
Thank you so much Kinglsey, soul contracts are an important topic to consider in our spiritual growth and I’m really happy to hear that you were benefitted from this article 🙂
I came to remember my past lives and life on the other side through dreams and psychic sessions which is how I gained my knowledge of “soul contracts”. During the process of crossing over, we carry the emotional baggage that we felt in our moments in life. All the love, happiness, sorrow and regret. There is a period of ‘Reflection’ before a decision is made to ‘re-enter’ life. In my dreams, I worked as a contractor (on the other side) that helped people reflect on life and their challenges and hopes. Majority of the contracts are ‘blank’. This is so the person can write their own contract after birth. Only a few lines here and there is actually written-in. This is how free-will is included in our contracts. Collectively, our contracts are joined together in a book, which the angels/guardians/higher souls can see what will happen in the future. Sometimes, they require to intervene in a future situation or event. And for that purpose, when a person is chosen, there is very little “blank” space in the contract (as the person must fulfill their obligations).
Thank you for collecting this information and sharing with us to find and learn from. I hope my story will help to add to your collective research and hopefully help other people in their journey.
Lovely as ever ❤️
Thank you Ankuu ❤️
An amazing read love it Thank you
Thanks for stopping by, Jackie ❤️
I always love your thoughts.
Lately I’ve been thinking on similar things.
I wonder if this life isn’t just a series of breadcrumbs we left on our trail to return home.
Also I wonder if this world is less a schoolroom for the student and more a destination for the traveler.
But I ramble.
All the best.
I love your analogy, my friend! It indeed feels like we’re coming out of the amnesia as we move closer and closer to our true Home 🙂
Thanks! This is one of the most powerful and detailed explanation on soul contracts. Beautifully written 👏
Thank you dear one 💜
Beautifully explained 👍👍
Thank you 🙏
Soul Contracts are most definitely real. But we cannot deny the role of the Law of Attraction (LOA), which is much more than just a law—it is the governing principle of the universe. The LOA is the manner through which we primarily learn on this physical plane because the “outside” or physical manifestation is reflecting the “inside” or the predominant energy being transmitted through our thoughts, emotions, and beliefs. We could not learn about ourselves if we didn’t have this “external” mirroring dynamic at work, which is nothing more than karma. In the end, the LOA is the fundamental mechanism the Universe uses to show us how we are aligned with fear instead of love. When we perceive the imbalance, we learn a lesson and make changes—if that’s what we choose. But learning could not happen without the truth of ourselves being reflected back to us through others as well as the material world. That’s all the LOA is.
So, why–as you alluded to—doesn’t the LOA seem to work sometimes? First, the LOA is much more complex than just “like attracting like.” We have to take into account the actions of others. Obviously a plane isn’t going to crash simply because you are worried sick that it will. There are many other people on the plane that are creating the incident of a flight, including the pilot. But this is not to say that the LOA isn’t working in this situation. After all, being worried is an action that automatically brings its own suffering, regardless of what actually happens with the plane. We can see this same dynamic at work when, for example, a ruthless dictator, who was responsible for the death of millions of people, lives a long life and is never brought to justice. On the surface, he seems to get off scot-free. But in truth, this man is suffering massively due to a guilty conscience that touches his life every day. In addition, the full effect of his actions may not be felt until another lifetime. But that doesn’t mean the LOA or karma isn’t working.
But if both the LOA and Soul Contracts are real, how do we reconcile them? We need to understand that they are simply two sides of the same coin. They both work together as the same dynamic. It is true that souls convene to make agreements that are enacted in lifetimes, but this in itself is a product of karma. We wouldn’t be making these soul contracts if it weren’t for the LOA or karma in the first place. So, while someone who shows up in our lives to abuse us in order to teach us invaluable life lessons about, for example, self-worth and assertiveness is a player in a Soul Contract, this abuse is simultaneously occurring because we have energetically attracted it into our lives. Something or someone cannot come into our lives without the corresponding energy we are transmitting behind it. This is true even for the infants you mentioned in your article, who have the imprint of energetic karma working in their lives to attract to them the adults who harm them. In this case, the LOA is obviously not working through the thoughts, emotions, or beliefs of the infant, but instead through his negative karmic imprint, which we all have. In other words, the Universe is simply attracting itself at deeper levels.
You mentioned that souls convene to make agreements “before” they enter a particular lifetime, but the truth is that there is no “before” or “after” because time doesn’t ultimately exist. Everything that has happened, will happen, or is happening—is simply happening now because all events arise from the eternal present which serves as the ground of all existence. Therefore, while the Soul Contracts and resulting events that happen to us appear to be “fate” or outside of our control (at least in a lifetime), at the very same time, these souls who enter our lives are doing so based on the energy we transmit in the moment. In other words, while Soul Contracts implies a predeterminism, the simultaneous truth is that free will is at play. In between lifetimes, souls can “see” events that “will” happen because they are happening now. Determinism and free will are happening simultaneously. Therefore, the dynamics of Soul Contracts and LOA (our transmitting energy being reflected back to us) are happening simultaneously. They are two sides of the same coin.
Thank you, well explained
Do you write or work in this field?
Would be a pleasure to exchange
My name is Nydia
I am a lightworker and certified healer, teaching yoga, meditation, tantra and art therapy
Contact over messenger fb under der name of Norma Stail
Namaste
Thanks a lot David, for sharing thoughts and perception. I think in most, your article hits the right spot and vibrates with truth in my heart. That said, I do have some doubts about the free will you’ve described, I mean how can we be so sure there’s a free will as our actions and words are much based on how we feel about something, not to mention the direction our emotions often guides us. It’s in my feeling, if we’re really free of will, how comes that, whatever we do is so often directed by our emotions and feelings? Are we still free to choose in that case? Or is our choice determined by how we feel? Would our action or words be different if we feel differently?
Now I’m not having the intention to claim our destiny is predetermined, I believe we create our realities and fabric our own destiny, I don’t think anything is written in stones, but it does feel like, certain intermediate points in our existence are written in the stars, and everything else between, the path seems open, or free as we want to take it. Much blessings
Hey Tom! Such solid questions 🙂
If I may – I echo your poetic way of putting the map between destiny and free will as partially set, partially open to change.
That’s the whole purpose of healing – to use those free will moments to create a better future.
It isn’t so much about being scared of our past, as learning from it so we don’t repeat it.
I have a detailed post about this in a few weeks, do stop by to read and share your thoughts! 🙂
I have to say that I didn’t know about soul contracts till today but I think I have an answer to your question, for me I discovered it during my battle with depression, the part about your emotions leading your actions. I noticed that I can’t prevent an emotion from coming or experiencing it so all I was left with is how do I deal with it once it’s here, do it let it lead me to a depressive episode or do I asses what actually made me feel this emotion the deeper cause and all the time it’s a no, because I’m an emphath so I can basically feel what made someone do or say a specific thing and 90% of the time it’s not about me but how they feel about something in their lives but I was blind to that. I will then accept that I felt this emotion but I don’t want to keep it in my heart so I let go of it. So basically I found a loop hole to depression, but now it makes sense after reading the article I guess, I’ve learned the lesson I needed to from it hence it doesn’t stay in the heart anymore to cause me depression. So for your question I guess it works for other emotions as well, before you decide to act on an emotion just slow down and asses the root cause of the emotions let’s say you have a crush it might just be temporary loneliness so you “fall in love” but you wouldn’t have if you weren’t lonely. Your inner child who felt neglected and invisible needs to be tended to so don’t feel the loneliness in the first place. Or jealousy that made you hate someone could just be feeling pathetic about privileges and experiences you were not able to experience due to your life path.
So I guess if you focus on the inner child slowly but surely you will be able to deferentiate between, the bad emotion driven decisions/actions and living your life and gaining new experiences and untainted emotions. I mean really how long are we going to be nursing the inner child’s feelings.
Interesting!!! Makes a lot of sense too ❤️🙏
Fantabulous, if I may!
I really enjoyed reading this! 🦋
Thank you.
Dawn.