One day, YouTube unexpectedly brought me to Caroline Myss, whose spiritual ideas made it easier for me to recognize why things happen the way they do. She was the pioneer in my understanding of Soul Contracts.
Shortly after that, many other spiritual books I had begun to read further strengthened my understanding. Here’s an outline of the ideas I came across, blended with my interpretation and personal experiences.
So, before we take birth there is a certain incubation period. Imagine that in this period, you huddle together with your companions for a meeting. These are the people you share your life with today.
From a person, you talked to for a brief moment in the lift, a beggar on the street, your parents, your ex, to your life partner, and everyone else in between. The purpose of this spiritual round-table conference is to decide the lessons you will learn in the life to come. These are soul contracts being prepared in collaboration with your soul tribe, soul guides, and the Universe’s intelligent energy, getting everyone ready to pursue the next ride to Earth.
You and your soul tribe together are looking down and out into the future, to see what most serves all concerned.
Everyone’s Role in Your Soul Contract
Of course, you cannot do this alone.
To learn the act of forgiveness, someone must take the responsibility of deeply hurting you. Thus providing you the choice to either forgive them or stay resentful.
To know how to be independent and strong, someone must ensure they abandon you at your worst hour. Thus giving you the opportunity to either stand up for yourself or fall down and succumb to your circumstances.
So, everyone you meet has signed up to help your soul’s evolution. YOU have signed up too, to deal with them. Even the annoying ones. Yup!
By knowing that everything is an elaborate play, you can allow yourself to grow. We don’t need to try to rationalize someone’s behavior. And our pain should guide us, not make us feel helpless.
The process of building yourself this way is called Ascension. As the name itself suggests – it is ascending or rising above the current state. The more you move up the ladder, the bigger a picture you’re able to see of your life.
You become detached but much more loving towards everyone. Because now, you begin to see that we’ve all decided to do this together. To build each other up even if it means, ironically, breaking each other down sometimes.
In a recent workshop that I curated for the tribe, Shanal, one of my clients shared a beautiful poem. I feel compelled to share it with everyone for us to celebrate soul contracts as something much more than just a “lesson”.
The fire burns through you
Flaming away more than the eyes see
I love the way I feel
I love the way I fall
Into the warmth
It doesn’t burn
Not the good things anyway
When my fire burns
The flames touch you
Not to hurt
But to heal
My protection becomes yours
Sometimes, the very triggers (fire in the above case) that someone brings out in us become the catalyst for our healing. And if we are able to transcend the pain of these wounds, the fire takes away the pain and becomes gentle. Warm and nurturing. And so, when this fire has transmuted into something more powerful, it becomes the protection for everyone it touches. And in that, not just you, but every life you touch is healed through the flames.
However, it’s understandable that we are letting go of years (and sometimes lifetimes) of conditioning. So at times, some people might find themselves experiencing an intensified feeling of duality and separation in their relationships, as their own worldview shifts. For instance, after a spiritual awakening, many people find themselves distanced from their loved ones because they don’t feel understood in this new way of being. In such moments, the fire feels like it’s engulfing us – the duality is amplified!
This is a temporary phase in the stages of your awakening. Eventually, you will be able to embrace the differences and step back into the Oneness. To be able to rise like the phoenix and be in touch with your eternal flame.
Why are Soul Contracts different for anyone?
The way you’ll learn things will be unique, designed to suit your soul’s personal blueprint based on the lessons you’ve learned in the past and the dynamic requirements that can help you grow, as you progress.
You may become the parent to a differently-abled child so that you can learn to take care of and love someone unconditionally. Even if they may never be able to pay you back! And you might have to keep taking care of them for several years before you truly understand this.
On the contrary, someone else might learn the lesson of unconditional love by having to deal with difficult siblings or a stubborn partner who makes a lot of bad choices.
That’s why someone might have a financially booming career without putting in much effort, but suffer from acute illnesses and die early. At the same time, another person barely makes it through the days with a loaf of bread and water, yet manages to stay alive decades longer.
Not every experience is for you to have within one lifetime.
There are some lessons you have already mastered in the past, and there are others that will come to you when it’s your time.
Have you ever felt like your parents or someone much older than you is acting irrational, and you’re the one parenting them? Yes, souls have different maturity levels. Don’t be fooled by the human relationship or age you’re in! Really, your soul has taken many lifespans to acquire a holistic and all-encompassing flavor of humanity.
All that’s great – but where’s the proof?
I hear you! I myself have gone through many past life regression sessions and can vouch that we are made of many lifetimes’ worth of experience – our experience and lessons are NOT by chance.
The concept of before-life and the afterlife are very fascinating and extensive subjects on their own. So what better book to read, than Journey of Souls? These theories have been scientifically backed by decades’ worth of intense research conducted on voluntarily regressed patients, under the care of renowned hypnotherapist, Dr. Michael Newton.
Likewise, some other pioneers in this space include Dr. Brian Weiss, Dr. Eben Alexander, and Jim B. Tucker. You can read more about their work in my other post, called 5 Bold Spiritual Books with Scientific Backing.
But why don’t we remember we have soul contracts?
There are two aspects to this question. When we incarnate here on Earth, we undergo Soul Amnesia. This prevents us from being overloaded with the past – it’s like a soft reset, giving us permission to start with a clean slate. However, what we do remember from our past, is the lessons we’ve learned.
And it makes sense in present life as well – except for a few exceptions, we don’t remember every little detail about day-to-day life. We might remember that a friend makes us feel good, but we don’t necessarily remember every single thing they have ever said to us.
Or in contrast, we might remember a “toxic relationship” but for all good measure, the mind mutes the gory details and mostly retains the boundaries we learned to place because of it. This is helpful because that would require a lot of mental strength to carry with us all the time!
Now imagine if you had to carry all of those memories from several lifetimes? Boy that would be something. So, amnesia is helpful.
But the second aspect of this answer is the fact that we have the free will to make choices. So for instance, many of our romantic interests can be past partners, but if you remember that, it can conflict with how you perceive them today. You want to be able to see everyone as they are in this reality because we are all evolving, and we are all creating different realities from what we were ‘back then’.
That’s not to say that we have absolutely forgotten the past. Everything that has happened or is going to happen is energy, which can neither be created nor destroyed. So, it’s all out there, and some people call this our “Akashic Records“. Kind of like a giant network of memories and events stored beyond space and time. This is probably a topic much deeper and better saved for another time.
And of course, there are some opportunities where people can retrieve past lives, or they have Near-Death Experiences and it helps them ‘see’ the bigger picture. But for most parts, evolution is naturally designed for us to take the lessons and drop the story. Why bother biting more than we can chew until we’re ready for it?
How Your Soul Contracts can transform your life
Analyze your present situation – is there someone who’s difficult to deal with? Are you stuck in a circumstance and have no clue how to change it?
You must go deep down, and try to find the root cause. What haven’t you learned yet? What must you understand, so that you can stop running around in circles, and move forward to newer experiences?
Conscious living is the mindset that says – you are a soul in a human body, here only for the soul’s evolution. This helps us keep the drama at bay.
What if you don’t want to learn the lesson?
As long as the lesson is resisted, it will resurface over and over again. And every time with higher intensity, higher urgency. If you manage to let the lesson pass you in this lifetime, you’ll have to take it up in the next.
This is one way to look at innocent children who take birth and die soon after, from grave illnesses.
Through their soul contracts, they had to grasp how to be taken care of when they are absolutely helpless and crippled. Perhaps because they held too much pride in their past lives to take favors. So let’s put it this way – the only way out of it is going to be through it.
But don’t let that frighten you! When you allow yourself to look at everything as a catalyst for your soul’s growth, you begin to enjoy challenges. As a consequence, it gets easier to identify what’s missing/lacking from your palette and improve it.
I love what spiritual teacher, A H Almaas says:
“Your conflicts, all the difficult things, the problematic situations in your life, are not chance or haphazard, they are actually yours. They are specifically yours, designed specifically for you by a part of you that loves you more than anything.
That part of you that loves you more than anything else has created roadblocks to lead you to yourself. You’re not going to go in the right direction unless there’s something pricking you in the side saying “Look here, this way”. That part of you loves you so much that it doesn’t want you to lose the chance. It will go to extreme measures to wake you up. It will make you suffer greatly, if you don’t listen, what else can it do? That is its purpose.”
Essentially what he reiterates to us is that by embracing your soul’s plan and working to heal these planned lessons, you become powerful within, enough to be able to say “I’m going to acquire this new badge of honor.”
Thus, you consciously experience whatever life brings, catch hold of the lesson, and brush off the dust from the adventure to say, “This is good enough, now let’s explore something new”. That is where your role ends.
One Last Step
Now comes the role of the Universe – it’s going to test you. Once you believe that you’ve truly integrated a value into your life, the Universe is going to put forward a few more scenarios in your soul contracts, where you must display your recently acquired skill.
If you haven’t learned correctly, you may respond like an older version of yourself would’ve. If you are able to respond differently, you have made progress.
So, if you pass the test, the lesson is complete. Even if something reoccurs, it won’t have power over you, and you will feel the freedom and transformation taking place. If you don’t succeed, try again and see where you fell short.
This isn’t mockery from the Universe, it doesn’t “hate” you. It’s simply showing you that there’s more work to do in this certain chapter.
Also, get familiar with the divine laws of the Universe. Because you DON’T have to do this alone anymore. The Universe has your back even in the toughest of trials and is simply waiting for you to call it forth into action. You are being divinely guided even when it feels like otherwise to the ego-mind.
Think of it like this – if you wanted to get from one destination to another by the fastest possible mode of transport, would you pick a motorcycle or bicycle to get there? In the same capacity, our ascension and evolution should be rapid.
So as you learn your life lessons, don’t be shy to ask for Divine Intervention and clarity on how to overcome the obstacles.
Does the suffering ever stop?
If you did your homework well for the test, then the best thing is going to happen to you. You will either stop being affected by this person’s behavior or, the ripple effect of your healing will energetically change the other person’s attitude towards you. Or, as it happened with me at work once, the manager that was troubling me got moved to a different project overnight (without me complaining about it, but simply doing my inner work).
The same happens when young kids face their bullies – the bullies lose their power and find a new target.
Another point worth noting is that YOU have an equally important role to play in others’ lives.
A more serious example is, that you might have signed up the spiritual contract to enter into a relationship where there is domestic violence inflicted on you so that you can inspire others in the same situation around you when you finally take a stand for yourself and put your partner behind bars. Makes sacrifices like Nirbhaya’s no longer go in vain – she revolutionized women’s safety for the people of India. I salute you, warrior soul.
It is your side of the contract to bring out the best in some people, and the worst in others, just as they do for you.
Do Soul Contracts have to be painful?
Our relationships are our greatest mirror. I like to think of it as this: when I am at my best, I’m able to see the highest in others too. So, when I’m feeling poorly about another person, it does reflect my inner state as well. Not all soul contracts require “suffering”. This suffering can be a result of a number of factors that are in our control:
- Not having strong relationship boundaries (enmeshment, separation anxiety, and so on);
- Our ego-mind resists the soul contract (staying too long or wanting to leave too soon);
- Our attachment to our relationships causes pedestalization of the other person, or ourselves, to amplify duality;
- Unhealing unconscious programming makes us recreate unpleasant situations because our energy hasn’t resolved around old incidents.
Alongside mentioning the factors that are in our control, I want to vocalize the factors that aren’t. Because we are a “collective consciousness” and born into a “human race”, we also have to bear the consequences of things such as:
- Natural calamities that lead to loss and destruction;
- Being in the wrong place at the wrong time (ex: terrorist attacks);
- Viruses and fatal diseases that our bodies are not immune to;
- Global challenges like war;
- National challenges like an economic crisis;
- Racial, gender, or cultural brutalities, etc.
When we incarnate, we not only have a soul agreement to go through our personal lessons but also bear the weight of the group.
So, while we can feel that we are personally not at fault, together, we are all held accountable to move through the healing at a greater scale.
I hope you enjoyed the indepth way in which soul contracts have been explained here!
By changing our perspective on our relationships, we are able to free ourselves from feeling like this struggle is permanent or that we are inherently “unworthy”. Understanding the deeper, spiritual implications of soul contracts helps us work towards healing and creating healthier relationships that we all get to celebrate – on Earth and in heaven 😉
Ready to take your healing deeper? Let’s talk about it! You’re welcome to fill in this form and submit an application to become eligible for a complimentary session with me.
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