Will Marriage Impact Your Spiritual Growth? Read this.

Should you get married if you are on the spiritual path? What is the role of marriage in our spiritual journey? Is it necessary to have a partner?

It is a widespread (thankfully, now corrected) notion that spirituality equals renouncing everything and becoming a monk. Should someone who’s trying to transcend the world still buy Nike shoes and go on expensive dinners? Is it okay for spiritual people to devote time to their marriage?

Truth is, spirituality isn’t about resisting your life, it’s about transcending it.

How? Let’s look at a simple example – eating chips or popcorn. Most of us grab a handful and stuff our faces with the crispy goodness, not even chewing properly. Now, if you were to look at a video of yourself eating popcorn at the movies, you might be taken aback and cringe.

Popcorn, Binge, Movie, Eat, Overeat

Conscious living is pretty much that – watching yourself like a movie, as often as you can. The behaviors you don’t like, when you see with your own eyes, will reduce and eventually stop or transform into something better.

The desires you have, the materialism you seek must also be transcended – at your own pace.

What about marriage – can we transcend our life with a partner by our side?

With the Mirror Technique, we can.

Self-awareness would not have been possible, and we would not be able to see our true nature, had it not been for others around us. We are able to reflect on our behavior, our mistakes, our grudges and resentments only because people give us that opportunity.

Yes, loving relations are the sign of a healthy and happy life, but they are not available to all of us, for the simple fact that we are yet to apply the mirror technique.

The mirror technique simply means, stop seeing the other person’s actions and instead start seeing your reactions. What arises within you whenever they act?


In this way, you can use every interaction with another person as an opportunity to meet yourself with greater depth.
Hands, Love, Couple, Together, Fingers, Argue, Marriage, Relationship

And that’s when real healing begins.

How can you know your ability to forgive if someone doesn’t hurt you?

How can you overcome your jealousy if you didn’t even experience it, if you didn’t share that kind of intimacy in the first place?

Resistance is delaying, preventing yourself from experiencing the darkest side of your being. And just like music – the deeper you can sing on the scale, the higher you’ll be able to hit on the octave too – so is life. You cannot know your light, until you face your darkness.

And what better a way, than with a partner who you’ve committed to live with, till death do you part?

If you don’t believe me, Justin Timberlake has written an entire song about it to explain this! Check it out.

Twin Flames, Justin Timberlake, Mirror, Song
Image Source : iMDB

This person will push your buttons at every step of the way – right from conflicts over room temperatures and changing baby diapers at midnight, to who-said-what’s and then some…

As a matter of fact, they will really help you apply all kinds of spiritual techniques.

Thanks to all the ups and downs, you’ll remember God a lot more. I mean how often do you remember God when life’s smooth?

You’ll learn to surrender when your partner is stubborn.

You’ll learn the art of forgiveness and to let go of your resentment when your partner messes up.

You’ll learn to co-create and co-habitat, gracefully mastering detachment whilst remaining compassionate, thus overriding your ego.

And you’ll learn the truest form of unconditional love and devotion when you fall in love with your partner and children, each time in a greater capacity.

Sunset, Family, Game, Silhouette, Set, Marriage, Happy, Love

Another Spiritual Angle for Marriage

To understand this better, let me quote Sadhguru as he explains in his mystical book, Adiyogi.

There was a difference between her [Parvati] and the sages; she was in love with him [Shiva] and the sages were in love with what he had [mastery over Self]. Because of her level of perception and receptivity, Shiva took her directly to the peak of attainment [Enlightenment through love].

Whether we go hunting for Enlightenment in a cave, or in the solitude of a room at home, the end-goal is attainable. Because it isn’t the outside dynamics that matter; it all comes down to one thing – the inner thirst for this quest.

Of course, to each their own. But the kind of lives we’ve signed up for don’t exactly permit the kind of extremism anymore, which sages and monks once practiced.

We’ve got to find our peace here, and now.

Couple, Like, Cute, Happy, Follow, Bride, Marriage
Balancing marriage whilst on a spiritual pursuit is like a double ‘challenge accepted’.

It’s about balancing the hermit and the materialistic sides in you. And at the same time, it’s the best of both worlds. 🙂

Image Courtesy : pixabay.com, shutterstock.com


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Should you get married if you're on the spiritual path?

20 thoughts on “Will Marriage Impact Your Spiritual Growth? Read this.”

  1. I think it totally depends on his/her perspective and the post really puzzled me now as I am going to be married in 2020. -_-

    1. Hey Trijit, not sure why it puzzled, I was hoping it’d inspire you, mainly because I got married too this year and I extracted the positive essence out of marriage. Do read it again more closely, and see if it sits better with you 🙂

  2. What an interesting post because I never thought about “surrendering” to the darkness of marriage, if I get it right. I don’t really want to get married because I don’t think it makes my life better. I feel like I will be held back as I have to become someone’s pawn (as in I have to be the housewife, I have to take care of the kids, and I have no more freedom while my husband will have more than me) in marriage. Maybe someday, I can get past those “dark spots” in a relationship but not just yet.

    1. That’s a fear we women have! But I wouldn’t consider it darkness. As I said in the post too – it’s a chance to become more selfaware and learn numerous life lessons we wouldn’t if we weren’t so close to someone. As an example, being a pawn would imply not having healthy relationship boundaries and is a chance to be more firm in standing up for ourselves! Hope this post gives you a chance to rethink marriage 🙂

      1. Your article is beautifully written.

        I strongly feel that a marriage should be done if both the partners feel inclusive of each other, like a mother feels for her child..Then all the ego, freedom centric desires will get aligned to our spiritual growth but that wish to disslove has to come from the soul…
        Otherwise it will be a compromise at some or other level..Solitude can be a good companion too..

      2. Thank you for sharing your love and introspections! I absolutely resonate with your sentiments – solitude is just as healing, but both paths have their own pros and cons, and we must walk them mindfully 💜

  3. I think that it is everyone’s choice to decide if they want to get married or not. Sure, there are difficulties sharing your life with someone, but some people are meant for living in solitude as well.

  4. Very interesting post. I definitely think we should find love, peace, and self-growth within oneself before considering marriage.

  5. A good marriage requires honesty, compromise, and communication. It isn’t easy, but if you love each other, it can be awesome.

  6. Marriage can be so difficult. It’s important to find peace and understanding with yourself first. It’s hard to have exceptions for someone else when you don’t have them for yourself.

  7. In marriage choosing the right partner is so important! Thank you for this article. We all need to take these things into consideration!

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