How to Balance the Ego & the Soul, by Chris Cade

The Law of Attraction poses an interesting conundrum for spiritual seekers: How do we balance what our ego wants with the deep desire to know and commune with ourselves and our soul? Today, spiritual enthusiast Chris Cade shares his beautiful insights on creating harmony between our human and eternal selves. Here’s what he says.

Discovering a practical, useful, and spiritually-oriented answer lies in a simple lesson from one of my spiritual teachers. It was 2008 and I had been working full days at my comfortable six-figure corporate job, then spending time with my family, and after they slept, I would work on my online spiritual business.

I felt conflicted though because I wanted to leave the corporate workplace so that I could be of spiritual service to others. It was frustrating and felt like I really wasn’t in either space.

I said to my spiritual teacher: “I feel like I’m apart from both worlds.”

She paused, looked at me, and said: “What would it be like if you saw yourself as a part of both worlds?”

That answer rocked my world because of its simplicity. She was offering me the profound gift of being truly present, even when I felt conflicted.

I learned that there doesn’t have to be a conflict between what our egos want and what our Spirits want. I was the one creating the conflict.

Taking a step back, I can now see that my ego wanted peace as did my Spirit. They just looked at “peace” differently. My ego-mind saw peace as acquiring the object of its desire so that it could stop seeking. On the other end of the spectrum, my Spirit saw peace as possible when I would stop seeking.

Peace sign logo neon signage

The only difference was that the soul didn’t put an object or requirement on peace. It simply wanted to experience peace as a natural result of being totally and completely present.

What’s important to realize is that this seeming conflict doesn’t have to exist, ever. Since that fleeting yet powerful moment with my teacher, I have come to discover one simple truth.

Everything my ego wants can be achieved and acquired through being present. This realization has made it much easier to have more present moment awareness because my ego isn’t fighting me nearly as hard (it still does, just not as much or as forcefully).

For example, when I first embarked on a spiritual path, I stumbled across “The Secret” as many of us do. The principles of positive thinking and visualization were already familiar to me, yet the way these topics were approached and talked about felt refreshing.

I quickly drummed up some vision boards and decided to focus my external manifesting on two things: financial abundance and experiencing a spiritually-rich intimate relationship.

In other words, I wanted more money and a fantastic woman. 🙂

My ego was good with this. Spiritually though, I felt a little bit shallow wanting for such Earthly pleasures.

The thing is, I learned that Spirit and ego can work together towards a common goal about four years after my spiritual teacher gave me that wisdom about being “a part” of both worlds.

Perhaps most ironic is that I first started to understand this truth, not through the lens of money and relationships, but rather, my physical body. To illustrate my point, we’ll have to backtrack almost thirty years when I actively practiced martial arts. 1994 to be exact.

I had become a martial arts champion. In my rookie year, I won the National Champion title and placed third at the World Games. Yet even in my youthful success, there was a technique I just couldn’t seem to master: The butterfly full-twist.

Now if you don’t know what that means, you’re not alone. It’s fancy martial arts lingo for jumping in the air, turning my body horizontally and then rotate on my axis a full 360 degrees.

man doing karate stunts on gym, mixed martial arts

To be candid, I’m understating things when I say I couldn’t “master” the technique.

My high-performing super-successful 18-year-old ego-mind didn’t want to admit one simple truth: It’s not that I couldn’t master it. I simply couldn’t do it no matter how hard I tried!

I fell repeatedly, and when I didn’t fall, I looked like I really didn’t know what I was doing.

Fast forward to 2012. Though I’d been on a spiritual path for six years, I hadn’t trained in martial arts for decades. That is, until, presence took me by surprise.

My son had been attending martial arts classes with a teacher who was a former competitor and teammate. After watching my little guy’s classes for a couple of months, I started noticing a little agitation in my body. I couldn’t shake it, and soon realized that I had an urge to train again. Though it was unexpected, I embraced the moment and stepped onto the mat one evening to begin training again.

After a few weeks, I discovered something profoundly interesting…

When I was fully present with my body, I learned techniques faster, did them more easily, and fe less fatigue afterwards. I remember thinking to myself that being present with my martial arts felt kind of like a miracle! That’s when I had the insane idea, arising from presence no less, to challenge myself profoundly.

“Coach. I bet you can teach me a butterfly full-twist in under five minutes.”

Never mind the fact that after months of high-intensity training, my 18-year-old body couldn’t do it. Yet here I was, decades later at 35, believing I could somehow do it because I had become more present in my life.

My coach wasn’t phased by my age or lack of recent practice. He simply said to me, “Okay, let’s do it.”

I would try it and fail. He’d give me advice. I’d try again and fail. He’d give me more advice.

We did this for about ten minutes when suddenly I performed it perfectly. Not just decently or even good. It was perfect enough to already take to high-level competition like I’d done decades before.

martial arts mastery by a spiritual practitioner
That moment was when I knew, completely and through my direct experience, that when I am present, my true nature could actually align with what my ego wanted.

This awareness rocked my world and sent me down a path of self-inquiry and discovery that led me to the insight I’m sharing with you today.

As I went further down this inner journey, I really grasped that whatever I thought my ego wanted was something that my soul wanted too. The only difference was that the soul sees it through the lens of purity and True Nature, while the ego distorts my desires because it, in and of itself, cannot grasp the fullness of presence.

I have more stories. Many more. Maybe I’ll tell you them sometime. For today though, I just want to point out that being present also did ultimately help me make more money and step into relationship with a high-quality, conscious, spiritually-minded woman.

How, you might ask?

By being present with what is true in my business, whether what it was effective or not, I begin to see things as they were (not as my ego wishes they were). This has allowed me to adapt and pivot, including during the covid-19 pandemic, and not stay stuck in what my ego thought I “should” be doing or what I “had been doing” all these years.

Instead, I took chances and risks that my ego didn’t like, that weren’t
logical to my ego, yet were soul and presence-driven and brought the balance I so dearly craved. The present moment told me what to do.

The result: My business served more people, made more money, and I was more at peace. You know what else was more at peace? My ego!

What about that relationship I told you about? The same principle applies.

My partner and I consistently strive to be present, and that allows us to move past triggers and conflict quickly and easily. Why? Because we don’t listen to the part of our egos that want to be right. Instead, we listen to the present moment as it reveals to us what actually will bring us closer in relationship.

couple meditating, peaceful, happy marriage, spiritual tips for good married life

The thing is, you can apply this to improve any area of your life. Even though the three in this article speak to wealth, health, and relationships, there really is no limit. That’s because while your ego is limited, presence is not.

Don’t take my word for any of this. This is my experience and truth that arose from my present moments. For any spiritual teaching to be useful, it must be practically applicable in your own life.

Here’s what you can do to bring a balance between the ego and soul:

Next time you want something, be it more money, a great relationship (or even a wonderful first date), or even better health, first focus on being present and in the moment.

Feel the sensations in your hands and feet, including the pressure of your feet on the ground. Notice your breath and feel it move in and out. Listen to the sounds around you. When you look, don’t seek with your eyes but rather allow the sights to come to you.

balance ego soul, breathwork, present moment awareness

The more you do this, the more present you’ll become. This softens the grip of the ego and allows you to listen more fully to the soul, creating a fine balance. In those moments, Spirit will speak to you.

It’ll speak in big and profound ways, as well as quiet and simple ways. Make no mistake about it though, when you are present then Spirit speaks more clearly and directly.

Concluding Thoughts

Do what that present moment guides you to do. I believe that when you do this, you’ll discover what I’ve used all of the previously written words to illustrate: You can make more money, have better health, and significantly improve the quality of your relationships.

Even though that’s what the ego likes to hear, and your ego will love the changes it sees in your life, make no mistake about it: presence made it possible.

More specifically, you’ll start to understand that your Spirit’s wants and desire to be present can fully co-exist with what your ego desires. There is no conflict, and any attempt to believe there is conflict, is merely the ego resisting being present. The resistance doesn’t come from the ego not wanting what Spirit has to offer…

Chris Cade
Chris Cade

Chris is the founder of The Miracles Store, an inspirational online store where you can get uplifting shirts, hoodies, and coffee mugs with positive quotes on them. 10% of the profits help women and children rise up from domestic violence. He is also a certified Firewalk Instructor by Sundoor’s Peggy Dylan (she taught Tony Robbins how to
firewalk), has swum with wild dolphins in the Bahamas, bent spoons with The Monroe Institute, left a six-figure job to become an entrepreneur, and is a grateful full-time single father. His online courses are made completely free by the generous tithes of his community supporters. He also manages a directory of free online spiritual growth events found on the link below.

Related Reads

Toxic Positivity: How You Can Sabotage Your Manifestation by Suppressing Emotions

What is toxic positivity? And how can being too happy all the time get in the way of what you’re manifesting?

Have you ever felt afraid to be upset and have forced yourself to quickly be positive again, because you might sabotage your manifestation? Or that you might “attract” something bad? This logic lands us in a zone of toxic positivity. In other words, if we keep believing that we’re never meant to be sad or upset, we’re rejecting half of our human experience.

And in doing this, leading ourselves into a trap of inauthenticity and more overwhelm! Of course, this is just our innocent attempt to create a happier life for ourselves but it can actually, ironically mess up your manifestation because you’re not letting yourself heal.

What do I mean by that? Let’s unpack it here together.

The truth is, our feelings are an indicator, an inner compass of what’s going on. They are NOT bad – they’re actually what help you understand if something sat well with you or not.

If you were emotionless, nothing would trigger a response from you. Neither would wrong behaviour make you upset, nor would misfortune make you sad.

What’s wrong with that, you might ask. I mean technically, the description above may sound like an enlightened person who is unshaken. True – but they are not unshaken because they neglect their emotions. But rather because they have full MASTERY over their emotions.

They’re not indulging or avoiding emotions – they are holding full awareness and using these emotions as the guide to their response to a situation. That’s how they not only show up as more grounded beings, but authentic ones.

Sounds more impressive and more human, right? Exactly.

Our spiritual journey is about embracing every single aspect of ourselves, including those parts that we may have never learned how to be with in the past.

Now comes the million-dollar question, how can you gain emotional mastery?

I have 3 tools for you to try out. I hope they help you become more aligned with whatever you’re manifesting for yourself, by stepping away from the toxic positivity and moving towards embracing your whole human experience.

#1 – Throw a 2-min pity party every day.

This is 120 seconds on the stopwatch where you give yourself CONSCIOUS permission to vent, rant, scream, cry, purge – whatever is your weapon of choice to release your emotions. Give voice to the very thoughts and feelings within you that are wanting to be heard.

be authentic, self expression, emotional awareness

The psychology of this tool? You are giving permission for energy to move through you. This is neither indulging endlessly in the mood nor running away from it. This is just enough time to let the emotion out, without spiralling down with it.

Sometimes, all your conflicted parts inside need from you is for you to hear your own pain, to allow it to be here. And in doing that, you step into a deeper kind of inner alignment. One that is more integrated within oneself. From this place of integrity, you are now able to take more conscious actions towards your bigger visions.

When our group tried it a few months ago, everyone seemed to have a BLAST!

Set a timer on your stopwatch, let your emotions run their course for 2 minutes and see how this makes you feel.

#2 – Build emotional awareness.

The first stage of any change in life is having awareness. The ideas in this article might be new to you. But over time you’ll see that if you continue to think along these lines, ironically in being “more human” with your emotions, you’ll become more spiritual.

If this is new territory, start by learning to name your emotions. Several times a day, just check in with yourself and ask yourself how you’re feeling. You can even look in the mirror and ask yourself, looking into your own eyes.

selective focus photography of man's reflection on a broken mirror

Here are two tips to keep in mind:

  • A feeling is something like sad, angry, happy, irritated, etc. Here’s a full wheel of emotions that you can refer to, to build your emotional vocabulary. Don’t resort to “I don’t know” – get curious about yourself and find out.
  • A thought is something like “they shouldn’t have done that”. That’s not what we feel, that’s what we’re thinking. We often confuse what we’re thinking with what we’re feeling.

If you find yourself being able to spot the feeling underneath each thought, know that this self-reflection approach is working.

To take the awareness deeper, I’ve designed a digital workbook that you can leverage as a trusted companion and really dial in on some of the ebbs and flows of your emotional health.

#3 – Build emotional intelligence.

Having built some levels of awareness, the next step is emotional intelligence, where you learn to work WITH your emotions.

The intention for emotional intelligence is to be able to find the deeper wisdom of even the most strange and unsettling emotions. As you begin to find value in your emotions, they become a catalyst in your spiritual development. And then you get to create that sacred space for others to be their “emotional selves” in front of you.

emotions, toxic positivity

For example, your relationship with anger might be that it’s a bad thing. But what if anger wasn’t the problem, and your reaction that comes out of anger was? As you see this, you might start asking yourself what anger really wants for you, and figure out ways to work with that anger versus trying to suppress it.

By feeling emotions, you free them. See if you can feel all the feelings and ask them what they really want for you?

And if you’d like to explore emotional mastery with me, please know that there are in-depth tools and techniques that I’ve been trained in, in order to facilitate this depth of work for you.

You can set up a complimentary 30-min call and unpack your relationship with your emotions, through my calendar here. In case you don’t find a time that works for you, drop me an email here and we’ll chat.

Concluding Thoughts

That said, these are just some simple ways through which you can start becoming more YOU and creating a reality that is in alignment with you. Don’t let the toxic positivity mindset stray you away from the very manifestations you’re working so intentionally to create.

I’d love to know what other questions come to mind for you and to be able to help you answer them. Do let me know in the comments below!

And speaking of manifestation, guest spiritual teacher Carleen did an amazing workshop for our tribe a few weeks ago. Here’s a snippet, and here’s the full video in case you missed it.

Ready to take your healing deeper? Let’s talk about it! You’re welcome to setup a complimentary 30-minutes call using this form, and learn how you can set your spiritual plans into action. Don’t see a time slot? Send me an email here instead and let’s chat.

5 Spiritual Practices To Keep In Mind When You’re Traveling

What are some spiritual practices you can incorporate when traveling to stay more aligned and spiritually connected? Here’s my list.

The world is opening up to travel again, and as spiritual seekers, this might intimidate some of us. My husband and I are also slowly reorienting ourselves to the world in these strange times. And here are the spiritual practices that I’ve followed when traveling that have helped me stay more connected.

There are so many different things happening when you’re travelling, like:

  • New environment, and lots of mentally and physically stimulating forces that can disconnect us from inner alignment;
  • Being out of the comfort zone and finding ourselves often feeling anxious by the uncertainty of events;
  • In some cases, being exposed to old patterns and habits like drinking, smoking, binging etc.

Needless to say, travel is a good time to test our spiritual development. It lets us see how anchored we are in the bigger truths of life, when say, we have a flat tire and find ourselves cussing!

Keeping all my own experiences in mind, here are some simple spiritual practices to help you stay aligned in your truth throughout your traveling.

#1 – Bring the rituals with you.

We’re humans of habit. And so you want to create the “cues” that remind you to do the things that you do back home. When my family and I were living in an AirB&B a few months ago, I realized how subconsciously everyone longed for their routine, though we were all travelling to come out of our routines.

Whether it was one family member waking up early for their morning walks, or another family member renting bikes to get in their daily dose of fitness, it was interesting to see how we all created comfort amidst the new and uncertain. This irony is what inspired my own conscious efforts to bring spirituality with me wherever I’m going.

Here’s what you can do as a spiritual seeker, to bring rituals wherever you go:

  • Carrying spiritual books with you that you place at your bedside, so that you can be visually reminded to read at the start and/or end of each day. I’ve been binging on Brene Brown’s work and you’ll see me quoting more of her work in the months to follow.
  • Taking rosary beads with you on a walk and chanting your favourite spiritual prayer at the beach, in the middle of a forest or wherever you may be headed.
rosary beads, chanting, spiritual practices when traveling, mindfulness
  • Creating time and intention for a shorter and doable version of your spiritual routine. Like getting up earlier than everyone to meditate for 10 minutes if not the full hour. Or like having a journal which you can pen away your thoughts in, as you unwind at night.

I’ve also seen people carry their own yoga mats and make alters within hotel rooms. These are all amazing ways to keep reminding ourselves to be more spiritual when travelling, using personal resources.

#2 – Create small ways to ground your energy.

When we travel, the different situations and dynamics can throw us off our game. Which is why it’s important to regulate our nervous system. Or as the spiritual community likes to call it, ground ourselves. That way, you’re able to come back to the present moment and not get checked out or overwhelmed.

While traveling, here is how you can ground your energy in small and effective ways:

  • Whenever you arrive at a new land, take a moment to speak to it. Ask it to be your home for the next few days and take care of you. And then when you’re leaving, touch the soil and express your gratitude.
  • Give yourself time to be in nature without distraction. Which means have at least one walk by the beach or hike in the forest where you’re not digitally connected. This will give you a chance to be more physically and spiritually connected.
  • Make time to acknowledge and receive wisdom from the spirit animals of the land. Who knows, maybe that the butterfly that’s been fluttering around you is bringing in the energy of your ascension?
our spirit animals come with us wherever we go, divine intervention, signs of spiritual awakening

Then there’s the more obvious ways to ground your energy, like walking barefoot in the grass or in the sand, as well baths in the ocean. If you can safely do any of those things, add them to your itinerary!

#3 – Come back into your feminine energy through acceptance.

It can be very easy to get carried away with our masculine energy, when you’re busy planning, organizing and executing the logistics of a vacation. But this is your opportunity to see what life’s planning and executing for you.

Tapping into your feminine energy is one of those spiritual practices that will bring light, air and magic to your traveling. Here’s how we experienced that magic recently.

During a recent weekend getaway, due to the forest fires and staffing shortages from pandemic fatigue, many of the restaurants on our bucket list were closed.

For the first hour, we spent our energy unsuccessfully calling up different places to see what our options were. But finally, something within us shifted and we decided to cook for ourselves.

coking, plant based diet, mindful eating on vacation

It was then that we moved our mind into accepting and preparing one of the most satisfying meals of our time there. If we hadn’t accepted this situation, we would have been frustrated as we drove around for another hour searching for places to eat. By coming to terms with the situation sooner than later, we not only saved ourselves the worrying, we made an event out of it!

Another example was when our hotel refused to provide us an earlier check-in. In hindsight, my husband and I both agreed that if we had checked in earlier, we wouldn’t have tried to spend 4 hours being creative with our time. In those 4 hours, we had managed to make some friends in the locality and were invited to one of their community potlucks!

Don’t underestimate the power of letting go of “fighting”, or resisting the flow of life. You’ll be surprised what happens when you come to terms with the moment and meet life for where it’s at, and not where you’d have rather it be.

#4 – Voluntarily practicing surrender.

The second aspect of our feminine energy is surrendering – letting go and letting something higher intervene.

We are on autopilots when things are repetitive for us. But we are all also in fight/flight mode when we are not grounded in spiritual truth. We operate out of our primal tendencies when there’s disconnect.

And while travelling, the different unpredictable moments can flare anxiety for anyone. So the one thing we can consciously carry in our spiritual toolbox, is SURRENDERING.

surrender, divine feminine, spiritual practices when traveling

Instead of being the person that would pack her bags a week in advance, my surrender has started at home. I don’t start thinking about my travel kit until much closer to the day of. Sometimes, it’s literally a few hours before leaving.

Wherever you’re at in your journey, it’s important to ask yourself how you can carry less of the “burden” that your vacation will work out. Is it by arriving to certain scenic spots without doing too much research? Or maybe it’s by expecting things to be rocky instead of trying to manage the experience to be perfect?

As you continue to consciously surrender and let life unfold for you, keep going back to the bigger truths of life, like:

  • Things always turn out okay in the long run.
  • This will make a great story, and it will help me see how much courage I really have.
  • I can trust the process, knowing that the universe has my back.
  • I don’t have to have all the answers in order for things to work out.

These truths will act as your affirmations and bring you back to something subtler, yet more powerful within that helps take care of you and the flustered ego-mind.

#5 – And most importantly, bring in conscious living in every single thing you do.

This is something I’ve only just come to terms with – the idea that spirituality isn’t just the meditation I’m doing or plant-based food I’m eating. It’s also the plastic bottles I’m not buying and the hotel towels I’m not constantly changing.

The truth is that spirituality is about becoming more human. It’s about stepping outside our paradigm of lack and moving into the abundance mindset, knowing that we have more than enough to go around. So in essence, ouur spiritual practices are not just about the woo-woo but about bringing consciousness to the most mundane when traveling.

Start by asking yourself the fundamental question – how can I be more conscious and intentional with my presence here?

charity, support the local businesses, conscious businesses, mindful living

It isn’t about the big changes, rather the small, incremental steps you will take to be more conscious, that will make a difference.

One thing I’ve enjoyed doing here in Canada is finding and supporting the different conscious projects that people are running. Three of these projects that recently fascinated me were :

  • This forward-thinking shop that promotes refilling existing containers, eliminating single-use plastics.
  • This zero-waste thrift store that raises funds for people effected by domestic violence.
  • This innovative company that up-cycles chopsticks to make kitchenware, utility and decorative items.

Whenever you can, spend some of your time seeking out and supporting local businesses, especially the ones that are walking on this conscious path with you. This is your way of giving back and being intentional with your time, energy and money.

Concluding Thoughts

Travelling plays an essential part in integrating our spiritual practices and whatever we’ve learned in a controlled environment, at home. It’s an opportunity for us to give a new twist to how we see and treat the world when we call ourselves spiritual seekers.

I hope these ideas inspire you to be a more conscious and internally aligned, no matter where you are what you do. And before you go, do share in the comments below how you make your travel time more spiritually connected. It’ll make a wonderful addition for everyone else to be inspired from!

Ready to take your healing deeper? Let’s talk about it! You’re welcome to setup a complimentary 30-minutes call using this form, and learn how you can set your spiritual plans into action. Don’t see a time slot? Send me an email here instead and let’s chat.