How to Balance our Masculine and Feminine Energy

Did you know that we ALL have feminine AND masculine energy within us? It’s not limited to one’s appearance or gender. I’ll be exploring this in more depth, and sharing how to balance our masculine and feminine energy to live a much more purposeful and powerful life!

And a side note to all my Arabic readers: here is the Arabic translation of a former version of this article on the Mirdad website. Grateful to my sweet subscriber, Nada for this collaboration!

An Introduction To The Masculine & Feminine Energy

So, when I say that every person has masculine AND feminine energy, and it’s not gender dependent, here’s what I mean:

• Enjoying giving gifts versus receiving gifts,
• Being able to multitask versus being focused and single-pointed,
• Being emotional versus being logical,
• Leading projects and pursuing people, versus being led or pursued,
• Doing versus being,
• And so on.

Were you able to notice some of these qualities in both the men and women of your life? And within yourself as well, you may notice a unique mix! Now, here’s some more fine print:

1. Different situations bring out different sides of your energy – so you may find yourself more feminine around family, and more masculine at work. Or vice versa!
2. These energies work in harmony with each other – we don’t have to pick one over the other. There is no “wrong” energy in a situation. When these energies and qualities come from a healed place, it doesn’t matter what the situation is – the outcome will be in our favour.
3. Your unique preference on choosing a more feminine or masculine orientation towards most of life’s events has much deeper roots: it’s your soul’s preference that has evolved over many lifetimes. And, speaking of lifetimes, let’s now address the metaphysical nature of these energies.

The Metaphysics Behind These Dual Energies

Our relationship with the universe is in perfect yin-yang harmony. How?

When we surrender, we act as the feminine energy and allow the universe to take control as the masculine. This is what we call allowing Divine Intervention into our lives.

But for most of us, most of the time, we live with masculine energy. We actively try to make life work our way. At such times, the Universe is receptive and flowing through the course of our actions. Thus, allowing us to be co-creators and itself being the feminine energy in this dynamic.

Thus, perfect harmony. Mystical isn’t it?!

However, there are also times when it feels like we’re pushing against a wall, and I will lovingly digress for a moment to talk about how Destiny Versus Free Will plays out. Sometimes, life wants us to learn how to surrender and will not give us what we want until we “do”let go”. At other times, life wants us to step up and take action versus hoping things will just work out for us.

We’ll go into that some more, later. For now, here’s another really deep metaphysical rabbit hole from ancient India:

What Ancient Science Says About Our Masculine and Feminine Energy

The ancient Indian scriptures talk about Ardhnarishwar, half man and half woman. This Divine Being embodied both energies and then was split in half to begin life on Earth. The split happened to form the first man, Shiva, and the first woman, Shakti, as we worship them today.

This is why the world says opposites attract. We’re attracting the polarity in every person, trying to feel whole through their presence in our life. And we spend most of this life collecting the missing aspects of our energy.

It is also said that the masculine and feminine energies reside in two of our 72,000 energy channels. These two channels are called Ida and Pingala.

They originate from your second chakra, the Sacral Energy Center. And they are the source of your experience of the duality of life. Then, they diverge and spiral up your Chakra System, finally meeting again at the Third Eye Chakra.

When we work on harmonizing these polarities, we experience our Kundalini energy rising through the Sushumna. This is the straight path enmeshed between Ida and Pingala, connecting straight up through the chakras.

The Sushumna also meets the two energies at the Third Eye Chakra.

Thus, Kundalini Energy can simply be explained as Shakti, the energy at the root of existence rising to meet Shiva, at the crown of oneness. Ultimately becoming everything and then, nothing.

And, when we talk about inner union, we embody Ardhnarishwar. Here, our left half is the feminine and the right is the masculine energy.

Was that a lot to understand? It was definitely dense for me to write about! So let’s take a step back.

What Modern Science Says About Duality

Through books like Journey of Souls, we get another glimpse of the complexity of the human-soul design. Dr. Michael uncovered countless metaphysical insights through thousands of afterlife regression sessions.

Some of my key findings around our duality and polar energies are:

• Souls do not have a gender, but merely pick a body type and play out the role. The more frequently they embody a certain role, the better they get at it.

• So, over time, each soul develops a preference to be born with a certain biological gender. They can even plan out their lives according to such preferences. Dr. Newton claims that we roughly pick the same gender 70% of the time.

• When souls incarnate in the opposite gender, they can find it challenging to act as such. This is often seen as a difficult lifetime, but one that brings deeper evolution.

Why Is It Important to Balance the Masculine and Feminine Energy?

The ultimate spiritual goal is to realize that we already ARE everything we really need (that’s the next level after saying we HAVE everything we really need). And life is constantly helping us come to that truth!

The best way we get to learn this truth, is through relationships. Especially romantic ones. So one reason to focus on this modality of healing is that if we balance our masculine and feminine energy, we will get to experience healthier, more fulfilling romantic and otherwise relations.

For instance, you might unconsciously pick a partner that is more masculine than you are, therefore helping you learn how to be in your feminine energy and allowing them to lead certain things in your relationship. Without them, you may be “hyper independent” – in essence, never really experiencing the ease and flow of life that can only come when we are in the feminine energy.

Another reason to balance these energies, is that thing I talked about earlier: destiny versus free will. Life is constantly calling us forward to live a life of deeper purpose and to actualize our potential. By simply operating from an autopilot lens of one energy type over the other, we stagnate in our growth. I can relate this back to my work as a life coach: if I had it my way, I would prefer that someone did the marketing for me (masculine energy), and I could just focus on the actual healing work with my clients (which is much more gentle, easeful and flowing for me because it connects me to my intuition).

And yet, as a solopreneur, I’m constantly stretching my edges to bring in more of the healed masculine energy, and as a result, I can create even deeper coaching experiences.

The opportunities are endless when we use this modality. So let’s talk about how to actually balance the masculine and feminine energies in service to creating our greatest lives!

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What is Masculine Energy?

Key Characteristics

The Divine Masculine energy embodies the following key traits:

• Active, alert, and contributing to the moment,
• Takes initiative, likes to lead, pursue and bring changes,
• Feeling confident and secure in oneself, willing to take risks,
• Well-groomed, disciplined, and able to manage things well,
• Bold and courageous, able to take charge in situations.

Signs of Masculine Energy Imbalance

Here’s a story that I shared during a recent monthly MSS Tribe class:

There once was a Grumpy Man that constantly scolded God for never being there, when he needed help. One day, when he finally met God, God asked him: “look behind you, what do you see?”.

The man noticed footsteps, and responded, “my footsteps”.

God chuckled and said, “no my dear, those are my footsteps. I’ve been carrying you through your challenges all this time.”

From this (and through other teaching moments), I can say that our masculine energy is wounded, if we find ourselves being:

• Pushy, cold-hearted or dominating,
• Our relationships are transactional and logic based,
• Feeling insecure or threatened when someone steps in or tries to take over,
• Fed by power dynamics such as trying to prove people wrong,
• Trying to prove our worthiness through over-responsibility / high-achieving,
• We like to live like a lone wolf and don’t trust others, etc.
• Overly active and unable to just “be”.
• Dismissive of pain and hyper-focused on “fixing” things,
• not in touch with the emotional and creative side of life.

Caveat: A wounded masculine does NOT mean you’re being feminine in your energy. Or vice versa. Procrastination isn’t the same as surrendering, for instance.

How to Consciously Balance the Masculine Energy

For some people, it’s just too hard to let anyone else plan for the vacation. Or to be on the receiving end of a gift. Or to be ‘unproductive’.

If any of that sounds like you, you now know why! You’re all about the doing and need to learn to BE. Otherwise, you might experience physical symptoms of fatigue and mental exhaustion. Consider consciously letting go in the smaller situations, when say, someone wants to choose the dinner spot and make the reservations (and allow them to make mistakes in the process – that’ll be healing for both of you).

Also, here are some journaling prompts for you to consider.

They are designed to help us discover our core wounds that create this “shadow” version of our masculine energy. As you notice what the deeper fear is, you can focus on healing it through further journaling or even consider working with a therapist/coach. I am happy to be a support system for you in this regard and have TONS of tools to help you heal both energies (more info at the end of the article, don’t let me distract you from the prompts here).

1. What do I fear would happen if I allowed another person to step into this position of responsibility?
   (it may sound like, “they won’t do it well, so I’ll have to redo it” or “I’m afraid they’ll take over my job and I won’t be needed anymore“, etc) –
2. Is it okay for relationships to have no purpose, other than just to bring joy and emotional support? (notice if there’s resistance, or resentment)
3. If someone proved you wrong, or they were established as “better” than you, what would that mean about you? (again, can bring up wounds around self-worth)
4. What would happen if I allowed someone to do things their way?(do you judge them for a “sloppy” job, or have an inflated sense of self about the quality of your own work which means you are either undermining someone else or overlooking your own human errors)

And last but not the least, I’ve got a free, bonus masterclass on how to heal our trust issues so that we can learn to receive the support of the Universe in our journey. You’ll get lifetime access to it in your inbox by signing up for the newsletter here (and you can unsubscribe at any time):

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Feminine Energy

Key Characteristics

The Divine Feminine energy embodies the following characteristics:

• Soft, nurturing, and gentle,
• In tune with physical body and emotions,
• Willingness to receive love, to be led, and to be pursued,
• Graceful, easy-going, and able to surrender,
• Secure in oneself and able to love generously.

Signs of Feminine Energy Imbalance

Your feminine energy is wounded, if you experience any of these signs:

• Overcompensating in relationships (people-pleasing),
• Heavily identified with your own emotions, and as a consequence getting carried away by them,
• Victimizing self or villainizing others,
• Using gossip or manipulation to bring someone closer,
• Neediness and self-doubt, demanding love because you feel unworthy,
• Jealous of what another gets, not believing you’re worthy of receiving, etc.

And here is the parallel story I shared with the tribe for wounded feminine:

Once upon a time, a crow got badly injured and fell through the trees onto the cold, jungle floor. He worried that he would die, but a wise rabbit told him that the other jungle animals would help take care of him until he safely recovered. Every day, one animal or the other would bring this crow food, and whatever else it asked, for its healing.

After a few weeks, the crow realized that it had healed, however, it wondered why it should bother hunting for its meals when everyone was clearly okay taking care of him. So he continued to demand their help. As weeks passed, the other animals became resentful. They made excuses and tried to not cross paths with the crow.

The wise rabbit intervened one day. He said: “instead of feeling grateful and wanting to give back to the jungle, you continue to laze away and demand more from it, and for this reason, no animal will be helping you ever again.”

The lesson being: yes, we get to receive so much abundance and support! AND, we are also powerful beings capable of supporting ourselves and others too.

How to Consciously Balance the Feminine Energy

I invite you to take “charge” in the smaller situations in your life. For instance:

• If a plan to meet friends didn’t work out, be proactive and create a new plan,
• When you’ve had an argument, be the first one to clean the air and disperse the tension,
• If you’re often considered irresponsible, or laid-back, start taking up more responsibility,
• When you’re having a bad day, don’t use other people as a punching bag. Instead, sit down with yourself, process the feelings, and switch up the mood.

I also know that for so many of us, we have been “shut down” when we tried to take action or exude our power. We may also have felt unseen, or disrespected for our efforts and it had made us feel unworthy or unimportant.

Here’s a message I put on Instagram recently, speaking to this and offering some perspective:

See more

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Going Deeper Into Balancing Your Energies

Though I’m a female, my default energy type is that of the masculine. In the early stages of my awakening, I noticed that in uncomfortable situations, I would pick masculinity as a response. What’s your default?

Like that, there are a number of other self-reflecting questions in this healing space that you can delve into, such as –

• Why am I more comfortable being one energy type over the other?
• Do I have shame or fear held in my body towards the opposite energy?
• What stereotypes can I let go of that will help me embrace my masculine and feminine energy wholeheartedly?

Concluding Thoughts

What did you learn from this article? And do you feel inspired to look at your life through the lens of balancing our masculine and feminine energies? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below. And if you’d like to work with me, I finally present the “how”:

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