Surrender : 5 Effective Ways to Let Go & Trust The Process

I used to be the girl that always packed her bags weeks in advance, before a vacation. However, on the eve of my 23rd birthday, a very dreadful Irritated Bowel Syndrome attack left me feeling quite helpless. All the rigid planning for my day had made me so nervous that I had lost control of my own bowel movement. And it was a wake-up call for me to stop holding on so tightly to life. To SURRENDER.

Aren’t we all trying to tame, to control our lives in some way or the other? There’s nothing wrong with wanting to feel familiarity. But we should know that our need for control and comfort comes from a less spiritual version of us: our ego-mind. It isn’t prepared for change. But the truth is, change is the only constant! Then why aren’t we able to “let go”?

In whatever capacity you might be trying to control and sometimes even micromanage your circumstances, here are small ways to create change in that.

#1 – Don’t ‘Google’ it.

Being informed is good, but sometimes we limit ourselves when we know too much because we make up our minds even before we arrive at the situation.

A common place to start is to no longer Google medical symptoms online. (which means go to an actual doctor, please)

Personally, I no longer watch movie trailers or read the reviews of a book I’m planning to read. As long as it falls in the genre of something I’m in the mood for, I just dive right in!

It might not seem like a big deal at first. But think about this. If you continue practicing letting go of “predicting” things like entertainment, medical challenges, or checking the weather ten times a day, what could happen in the bigger picture?

One, you would develop more tolerance for unpredicted change.

And two, this subtle shift in focus allows the ego to stop acting from survival responses to start learning how to trust the process.

#2 – Let go of the urge to spiritually validate your life.

Some spiritual manifestations of control can look like pulling Tarot readings before every decision you make. Or depending too frequently on your clairvoyant insights. Maybe you are constantly checking the planetary alignments or relying on the horoscopes to validate what’s happening in your life. In other words, you might be becoming spiritually obsessed.

I get it. Life is challenging and sometimes we need the validation or affirmation that our happiness is not forsaken.

But the truth is, life has been offered to us to be lived as it unfolds. When I read books like Dr. Michael Newton’s Journey of Souls, it becomes clear to me that we intentionally choose the soul amnesia effect for our spiritual growth.

So, let go of the urge to know about your future.

Instead, my encouragement is to build trust in your own ability to deal with life as it comes.

#3 – Surrender YOUR routine.

Have you ever created a packed schedule for your day, only for it to all be thrown off by your stomach catching a bug or migraine shutting you down?

That’s life. If it’s not our health, it might be a flat tire. Or a random pipe bursting in your room! (personal experiences, all of them)

Yes, discipline helps us get things “done”. And that’s a masculine approach to life.

But the energy of surrender, creativity, and flow all are based on a more feminine approach.

And the more rigid we are in our attitude, the harder it is to accept when things aren’t going our way.

Have a structure, but don’t be rigid. Set goals for yourself but don’t beat yourself up for not achieving them.

Here are two more ideas to consider:

• Actively work on removing the connection between your productivity and self-worth. We are all worthy regardless of whether we can plow a farm, win a lawsuit, or suck our toe.
• Let go of the need to plan every minute or check off every task from your checklist. Leave remove for intentional downtime, which gives you room to do something you like or catch up on something the Universe pulled you away from.

#4 – Work on accepting a change of plan.

How badly are you affected when a vacation gets canceled or if a friend bails on a lunch date?

Think about it. You can only build your “acceptance” muscle if you’re facing situations that are different from your perception of how life should be.

A good way to develop acceptance is to build our emotional capacity to tolerate discomfort. For instance, if the canceled vacation made you angry, work on processing that anger instead of ruminating or carrying it with you for days.

The reminder here is to not take the problem personally. But to take its lessons very seriously. So if the vacation didn’t work out, maybe the lesson was to have insurance next time so you don’t incur a loss. Or it can be an encouragement to get creative last-minute and do something else with your free time.

Related Read: Is the Universe Teaching Me a Hidden Lesson?

#5 – It’s okay for things to go against your judgment.

Most of the time, life’s curve balls cannot be predicted by a fancy algorithm on a supercomputer.

So don’t let life get in the way of your relationship with yourself.

Learn to trust and love yourself, as well as the universe.

Trusting yourself should not be disguised under the misconception that you will always make the right choices.

Self-love means acknowledging that as humans we don’t always know the right thing to do, but we still try our best. And that we are worthy of love, regardless of the outcome of our efforts.

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And trusting the universe doesn’t mean that things will go your way because you’re now friends with the Divine.

Things will still continue to be weird and unexplainable, and you will be alright.

Related Read: How does spirituality explain all the bad stuff?

Concluding Thoughts

The ability to surrender becomes easier when you start small. Just like any habit, it’s one that takes practice. But it brings you the mental freedom you truly deserve.

So let’s take the weight off our shoulders and learn to live a little (or a lot), shall we?

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