I used to be the girl that always packed her bags weeks in advance, before a vacation. However, on the eve of my 23rd birthday, a very dreadful Irritated Bowel Syndrome attack left me feeling quite helpless. All the rigid planning for my day had made me so nervous that I had lost control of my own bowel movement. And it was a wake-up call for me to stop holding on so tightly to life. To SURRENDER.
Aren’t we all trying to tame, to control our lives in some way or the other? There’s nothing wrong with wanting to feel familiarity. But we should know that our need for control and comfort comes from a less spiritual version of us: our ego-mind. It isn’t prepared for change. But the truth is, change is the only constant! Then why aren’t we able to “let go”?
In whatever capacity you might be trying to control and sometimes even micromanage your circumstances, here are small ways to create change in that.
#1 – Don’t ‘Google’ it.
Being informed is good, but sometimes we limit ourselves when we know too much because we make up our minds even before we arrive at the situation.
A common place to start is to no longer Google medical symptoms online. (which means go to an actual doctor, please)
Personally, I no longer watch movie trailers or read the reviews of a book I’m planning to read. As long as it falls in the genre of something I’m in the mood for, I just dive right in!
It might not seem like a big deal at first. But think about this. If you continue practicing letting go of “predicting” things like entertainment, medical challenges, or checking the weather ten times a day, what could happen in the bigger picture?
One, you would develop more tolerance for unpredicted change.
And two, this subtle shift in focus allows the ego to stop acting from survival responses to start learning how to trust the process.
#2 – Let go of the urge to spiritually validate your life.
Some spiritual manifestations of control can look like pulling Tarot readings before every decision you make. Or depending too frequently on your clairvoyant insights. Maybe you are constantly checking the planetary alignments or relying on the horoscopes to validate what’s happening in your life. In other words, you might be becoming spiritually obsessed.
I get it. Life is challenging and sometimes we need the validation or affirmation that our happiness is not forsaken.
But the truth is, life has been offered to us to be lived as it unfolds. When I read books like Dr. Michael Newton’s Journey of Souls, it becomes clear to me that we intentionally choose the soul amnesia effect for our spiritual growth.
So, let go of the urge to know about your future.
Instead, my encouragement is to build trust in your own ability to deal with life as it comes.
#3 – Surrender YOUR routine.
Have you ever created a packed schedule for your day, only for it to all be thrown off by your stomach catching a bug or migraine shutting you down?
That’s life. If it’s not our health, it might be a flat tire. Or a random pipe bursting in your room! (personal experiences, all of them)
Yes, discipline helps us get things “done”. And that’s a masculine approach to life.
But the energy of surrender, creativity, and flow all are based on a more feminine approach.
And the more rigid we are in our attitude, the harder it is to accept when things aren’t going our way.
Have a structure, but don’t be rigid. Set goals for yourself but don’t beat yourself up for not achieving them.
Here are two more ideas to consider:
- Actively work on removing the connection between your productivity and self-worth. We are all worthy regardless of whether we can plow a farm, win a lawsuit, or suck our toe.
- Let go of the need to plan every minute or check off every task from your checklist. Leave remove for intentional downtime, which gives you room to do something you like or catch up on something the Universe pulled you away from.
#4 – Work on accepting a change of plan.
How badly are you affected when a vacation gets canceled or if a friend bails on a lunch date?
Think about it. You can only build your “acceptance” muscle if you’re facing situations that are different from your perception of how life should be.
A good way to develop acceptance is to build our emotional capacity to tolerate discomfort. For instance, if the canceled vacation made you angry, work on processing that anger instead of ruminating or carrying it with you for days.
The reminder here is to not take the problem personally. But to take its lessons very seriously. So if the vacation didn’t work out, maybe the lesson was to have insurance next time so you don’t incur a loss. Or it can be an encouragement to get creative last-minute and do something else with your free time.
Related Read: Is the Universe Teaching Me a Hidden Lesson?
#5 – It’s okay for things to go against your judgment.
Most of the time, life’s curve balls cannot be predicted by a fancy algorithm on a supercomputer.
So don’t let life get in the way of your relationship with yourself.
Learn to trust and love yourself, as well as the universe.
Trusting yourself should not be disguised under the misconception that you will always make the right choices.
Self-love means acknowledging that as humans we don’t always know the right thing to do, but we still try our best. And that we are worthy of love, regardless of the outcome of our efforts.
And trusting the universe doesn’t mean that things will go your way because you’re now friends with the Divine.
Things will still continue to be weird and unexplainable, and you will be alright.
Related Read: How does spirituality explain all the bad stuff?
Concluding Thoughts
The ability to surrender becomes easier when you start small. Just like any habit, it’s one that takes practice. But it brings you the mental freedom you truly deserve.
So let’s take the weight off our shoulders and learn to live a little (or a lot), shall we?
Vasundhra is the Founder & Writer of My Spiritual Shenanigans. After seeing 11:11 on the clock one fateful night, her life turned around. Ever since, she has been blending modern psychology and ancient spirituality, to help herself and people around the world elevate the quality of their lives.
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Love this information. Thank you for sharing!\
Happy to hear that this resonated with you, Wendy! Thanks for stopping by 🙂
Trusting the process……yes such a wonderful approach to the spiritual. Thank you for encouraging us and giving us these awesome “best practices”.
Really appreciate your love and generosity in these comments, thank you so much Scott 🙏
Being down to earth is healthy. Thank you
So true! Letting go of trying to have control over life, and simply surrender in those 5 ways you just described is what we need to move forward and live a better life.
Are you familiar with the content of Srikumar Rao? His speech on the illusion of the control changed my life <3
I haven’t heard of him, but I’m so intrigued! I’ll explore his work right away – thanks for sharing, Anja!
Absolutely meaningful, true, and helpful. There are those articles that make us wonder about what the author has gone through and those articles that create possibility in our lives. This is definitely the latter of the two.
In some ways I feel selfish, in knowing that one day soon, I will be able to say, “I knew her when…”
These are wonderful suggestions, written in a way that makes sense to me. This day will be better because of your words.
Don’t be too smart for your own good. This is so true when I started my academic life I got carried away in my first research project. I couldn’t see that my interpretation of the results was totally engulfed by my biases I had decided in my head the outcome of my research before I had my results. This was pointed out by my research supervisor and it was a real shock how I was totally overtaken by my ego.
I loved the post. Every word spoke to me 🙂 This is my journey also, towards trusting the universe, but it’s still so hard for me. Thank you for that post.
I legit laughed out loud when I read the part of about no longer googling medical symptoms. Mostly because I’m guilty of this & I know that it’s in no way helpful & actually makes me worry more. Thank you for sharing these tips letting go is hard but a nesscary step to aligning with the universe.
Enjoyed reading your post, some good tips here. Have learnt to go with the flow when it comes to arrangements. To have an alternative if they don’t occur and not to get bent out of shape. My Dad taught me that one.
I agree with you 100%, in fact I’ve written an article about the same topic today on my blog. It’s a great post. Keep going.
Hi5! I love such synchronicities! Will love to read your take on this too, going to check your blog out 🙂
Thanks for the marvelous posting! I actually enjoyed reading it, you may be a great author.I will make sure to bookmark your blog and may come back later in life.
I want to encourage yourself to continue your great work, have a nice day!
Aw, this was an incredibly nice post. Finding the time and actual effort to
produce a good article… but what can I say… I hesitate a
lot and don’t manage to get anything done.
Awesome article.
This is why I always choose to do something different on weekends. Gives me a different identity.
That’s a good way to look at it!
Great list of tips! These all sound very helpful.
Thank you! Hope they inspire you to go with the flow 😊
I am a person who will watch a movie and in the middle, read the synopsis while watching the movie. It is just out of curiosity and not to ruin a movie (to response to #1). I also like to know who is in the movie as I recognize faces easier than I recognize faces.
Ofcourse, movie resources are there for a reason! But this is about learning to let go if that’s something that makes you controlling. If it doesn’t, good for you! 🙂
It isn’t
There isn’t really anything that is controlling my life right now. Maybe I have dig deeper to find it but I am somewhat a free person
That’s amazing! I aspire to be more free-spirited like you 🙌
This is something I definitely struggle with. It’s so hard for me to let go of being in control and just let things happen naturally.
One step at a time 🙂
Very insightful and thought-provoking post. Love your writing. Thanks for sharing your ideas!
Aww… Thank you, Remo! Means a lot to me 🙂
Don’t be too smart for your own good. It’s okay to accept your mistakes to make you grow and improve. It’s okay to share your learning to help others but not in a way of spoon-feeding
Absolutely 👏
Good self awareness, to recognise your need to un-puppet. Keep it going! Thanks for sharing.
I think this is called stepping outside of your comfort zone. When we sit in our box we are always in control of everything. However, when we step out is when we start to live.
How beautiful! Such a nice way to look at it 💕
something you just have to be mellow.
I have so many of these I need to overcome. Great post
I have type A personality. So I feel like this was so important for me to read!
I do believe these tricks can help you Renee, though not officially a Type A, I’m a struggling perfectionist and overtime it’s helped me massively!