I used to be the girl that always packed her bags weeks in advance, before a vacation. However, on the eve of my 23rd birthday, a very dreadful Irritated Bowel Syndrome attack rendered me helpless. I had embarrassingly lost control of my own bowel movement. And it was a wake up call for me to stop holding on so tightly to life. To SURRENDER.
Aren’t we all trying to tame, to control our lives? The ego is driving us in these cases. The ego wants to feel familiarity. It isn’t prepared for change. But the truth is, change is the only constant! Then why aren’t we learning to let go?
To whatever capacity that you might be trying to control and sometimes even micromanage your circumstances, here are small ways to change that.
#1 – Don’t ‘Google’ it.
Being informed is good, but sometimes we limit ourselves when we know TOO much, because we make our mind even before we arrive at the situation.
A small place to start, is to no longer Google medical symptoms online.
Personally, I also no longer watch movie trailers or read too much from a book’s synopsis. As long as it falls in the genre of something I’m in the mood for, I dive in!
It might not seem like a big deal, but the liberation that comes from not knowing what to expect in your entertainment, and showing up anyway, can be healing.
#2 – Don’t kill spontaneity with too much certainty. Surrender by taking life as it comes.
Do you plan your itinerary to every minute detail?
Some spiritual manifestations of this might mean following horoscopes in the newspaper, pulling Tarot readings for yourself, depending too frequently on your clairvoyant insights, or constantly checking the planetary alignments. In other words, becoming spiritually obsessed.
I get it. We want to be prepared, because we want to feel in control.
But the truth is, we cannot ever be completely prepared to respond to everything that happens to us, and therefore, please allow yourself to stay in the present moment by responding as and when situations arise.
Let go of the urge to know about your future.
This also pairs with the first insight. Knowing too much kills spontaneity. And without spontaneity, you are not allowing the universe to breathe and create through you.
#3 – Surrender your routine.
Forcing yourself to go to the gym every single day, or beating yourself up for not having a salad on the seventh day in a row is basically you suffocating your inner child.
Have a structure, but don’t be rigid. Be consistent but don’t be monotonous.
Always have an idea about what you want to aspire for, but let go of how. Some examples :
- “I want to be fit.”
Some days it’ll mean going to the gym, other days it’ll mean picking healthier food choices, and on weekdays it’ll be using the stairs to work.
- “I want to learn something new everyday.”
Some days, read a book. Some days, watch a TED talk, or listen to a podcast. Occasionally on weekends, enrol in a workshop.
- “I want to invest in my relationships.”
Somedays, have meals together. At other times, have a long conversation on the phone (or in person), or simple acts of kindness like a shoulder massage or helping cook.
- “I want to invest in my passion daily.”
NOTE : Since I’m a writer, I’ll share examples per my situation. Somedays, it’ll mean actually writing. Some days it’ll be working on aesthetics and marketing. On other days it’ll be investing energy indirectly by doing things that fuel my writing like reading a book on a relevant genre, or attending healing/personality development classes.
#4 – Accept change of plans.
How badly are you effected when a vacation gets cancelled or if a friend bails on a lunch date?
Think about it. You can only build your acceptance if you’re facing situations that are unusual to your perception of how the world should be.
Thus, it’s a vital aspect of learning to surrender.
So anytime things don’t go our way, it is our choice to either see this as the Universe ‘hating’ us, or simply bouncing back up and making way for whatever comes next.
And as I always say, life’s too short to get stuck too long in the what-ifs. It’s important to focus on the what-is.
#5 – It’s okay for things to go against your judgement.
Most of the times, life’s curve-balls cannot be predicted on a fancy algorithm on a supercomputer. Don’t let life get in the way of your relationship with yourself. Learn to trust and love yourself, as well as the universe.
Trusting yourself should not be disguised under the misconception that you will always make the right choices. Self-love means acknowledging that as humans we don’t always know the right thing to do, but we still try our best.
And trusting the universe doesn’t mean that things will go your way because you’re now friends with the Divine. Things will still continue to be weird and unexplainable, and you will be alright.
Concluding Thoughts
The ability to surrender becomes easier when you start small. Just like any habit, it’s one that takes practice. But it brings you the mental freedom you truly deserve.
So let’s take the weight off our shoulders and learn to live a little (or a lot), shall we? 🙂
P.S. The Surrender Experiment is an incredible and inspiring story of an almost-monk who completely surrendered to his life. What happens then, is worth reading!
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Trusting the process……yes such a wonderful approach to the spiritual. Thank you for encouraging us and giving us these awesome “best practices”.
Really appreciate your love and generosity in these comments, thank you so much Scott 🙏
So true! Letting go of trying to have control over life, and simply surrender in those 5 ways you just described is what we need to move forward and live a better life.
Are you familiar with the content of Srikumar Rao? His speech on the illusion of the control changed my life <3
I haven’t heard of him, but I’m so intrigued! I’ll explore his work right away – thanks for sharing, Anja!
Absolutely meaningful, true, and helpful. There are those articles that make us wonder about what the author has gone through and those articles that create possibility in our lives. This is definitely the latter of the two.
In some ways I feel selfish, in knowing that one day soon, I will be able to say, “I knew her when…”
These are wonderful suggestions, written in a way that makes sense to me. This day will be better because of your words.
Don’t be too smart for your own good. This is so true when I started my academic life I got carried away in my first research project. I couldn’t see that my interpretation of the results was totally engulfed by my biases I had decided in my head the outcome of my research before I had my results. This was pointed out by my research supervisor and it was a real shock how I was totally overtaken by my ego.
I loved the post. Every word spoke to me 🙂 This is my journey also, towards trusting the universe, but it’s still so hard for me. Thank you for that post.
I legit laughed out loud when I read the part of about no longer googling medical symptoms. Mostly because I’m guilty of this & I know that it’s in no way helpful & actually makes me worry more. Thank you for sharing these tips letting go is hard but a nesscary step to aligning with the universe.
Enjoyed reading your post, some good tips here. Have learnt to go with the flow when it comes to arrangements. To have an alternative if they don’t occur and not to get bent out of shape. My Dad taught me that one.
I agree with you 100%, in fact I’ve written an article about the same topic today on my blog. It’s a great post. Keep going.
Hi5! I love such synchronicities! Will love to read your take on this too, going to check your blog out 🙂
Thanks for the marvelous posting! I actually enjoyed reading it, you may be a great author.I will make sure to bookmark your blog and may come back later in life.
I want to encourage yourself to continue your great work, have a nice day!
Aw, this was an incredibly nice post. Finding the time and actual effort to
produce a good article… but what can I say… I hesitate a
lot and don’t manage to get anything done.
Awesome article.
Great list of tips! These all sound very helpful.
Thank you! Hope they inspire you to go with the flow 😊
This is why I always choose to do something different on weekends. Gives me a different identity.
That’s a good way to look at it!
I am a person who will watch a movie and in the middle, read the synopsis while watching the movie. It is just out of curiosity and not to ruin a movie (to response to #1). I also like to know who is in the movie as I recognize faces easier than I recognize faces.
Ofcourse, movie resources are there for a reason! But this is about learning to let go if that’s something that makes you controlling. If it doesn’t, good for you! 🙂
It isn’t
There isn’t really anything that is controlling my life right now. Maybe I have dig deeper to find it but I am somewhat a free person
That’s amazing! I aspire to be more free-spirited like you 🙌
Very insightful and thought-provoking post. Love your writing. Thanks for sharing your ideas!
Aww… Thank you, Remo! Means a lot to me 🙂
This is something I definitely struggle with. It’s so hard for me to let go of being in control and just let things happen naturally.
One step at a time 🙂
Don’t be too smart for your own good. It’s okay to accept your mistakes to make you grow and improve. It’s okay to share your learning to help others but not in a way of spoon-feeding
Absolutely 👏
Good self awareness, to recognise your need to un-puppet. Keep it going! Thanks for sharing.
I think this is called stepping outside of your comfort zone. When we sit in our box we are always in control of everything. However, when we step out is when we start to live.
How beautiful! Such a nice way to look at it 💕
something you just have to be mellow.
I have type A personality. So I feel like this was so important for me to read!
I do believe these tricks can help you Renee, though not officially a Type A, I’m a struggling perfectionist and overtime it’s helped me massively!
I have so many of these I need to overcome. Great post