Workaholism – 4 Tips to Gain Back Your Time, Happiness & Life

It’s ironic that when I worked in the corporate, I was NOT a workaholic. I was proud of myself, for maintaining a strong work-life balance. It wasn’t until I became passionate about something, that my passion became an obsession. And that obsession became workaholism.

I still remember that one year, back in the summer (of sixty nine?), I was walking with my friend, along the peripheral of her apartments. Giving her, Deepti, a healthy dose of right and wrong. As good friends should, eh?

Her entire focus throughout the day, was work. It was beginning to effect her physical and mental health. And it made no sense to me because there was much, MUCH more to life.

Then how was it, that 3 years later, I was in the same boat, unable to see anything beyond my work, my blog?

The next irony was that the very thing that I preached about being wary of, spiritual vices, became a hidden one for me too. I became addicted to writing about Spirituality, finding countless ways to bring the truth to readers.

The more I took Julia Cameron’s advice to “show up and just write“, the more my mind ran. It has become a machine of countless creative ideas!

As the ideas churned out, I felt satiated with the satisfaction of being able to do what I love.

But now, I noticed how little time I had for friends. Or family. Or to make a phone call to my husband without still being on the laptop, half-distracted, doing something.

I felt guilty about it. But not guilty enough to stop.

Those were my defining moments. Workaholism was the choice I was making.

Is Workaholism Even A Real Problem? And signs you might be a workaholic too.

When all the energy and time is consumed in one task, there’s little room for anything else. That’s the obvious statement. But think about this.

When we stay in that same zone day after day, month after month, our energy stops moving to the other spaces of our existence. Our neurons begin to rewire themselves. They get retrained to do something that only serves the space they’re confined to.

So, scarily enough, even if we do make time for friends, family and leisure, our mind still makes it all about work.

You might think that isn’t the case for you – but read these examples that are signs of being a workaholic.

• If you’re a housewife, you’re no longer able to sit and talk when somebody comes over. Because you’re either making your loved ones the next snack with their coffee, or you’re cleaning the aftermath.

• As a businessman, you look at even the most irrelevant interactions as a “great sales pitch”. Or as an inspiration, maybe some lesson, that you can take back to work tomorrow.

• Or if you work in an IT job, then every argument reminds you of the karmic battle with your boss. And you either classify your relationships as “this relationship is like the one with my boss”, or that “this one is thankfully so different”.

• If you’re a social media influencer, artist or writer, you start seeing everything as inspiration for your next post.

Guilty? I know. Me too. But the guilt isn’t enough to make us choose otherwise.

We’ve been in that zone for so long that we find nothing seriously wrong with it. Our trade-offs can’t be that bad, can they? And that’s when we know that workaholism is a real problem.

Everything becomes transactional, or is pushed to adjust itself around work.

So, we forget how to love without checking our phone.
We forget how to eat without talking to someone on the other line.

We forget to be where we are, because we bring our ‘zone’ with us, wherever we go.

So how can you and I outgrow our workaholism tendencies? Let’s address this together.

4 ways to manage our workaholism tendencies

It’s not a quick fix. After multiple years of consciously healing this pattern (and updating this article as I grew out of it), here are my recommendations:

#1 – Practicing Essentialism

Hustle culture has become the norm in today’s day and age. People wear their busy calendars and tiredness like a badge of honour! So, when I first read case studies from CEOs and highly successful businessman that talked about how relieved they were to do less, it felt counterintuitive. (but refreshing)

And isn’t that what we are ultimately aiming for in our spiritual journey too? Less doing, more being?

Of course, as long as we are alive, we cannot stop action (karma) altogether. But it’s important that in the pursuit of productivity, we don’t consume ourselves in “busy work”. Busy work is like sitting on a rocking chair – we move but don’t really get anywhere.

So what is essentialism? It’s about doing less by becoming more laser-focused. And how can you put essentialism into practice? Here are some examples:

• Have a fixed set of tasks for the day. And DON’T add more to your list before you tick everything off first.

• Use a planner or journal to monitor and maintain your progress. When we are able to visually see how much work we’ve done, we feel contentment and appreciation for how far we’ve come. Versus chasing more.
  
• Consider blocking time off throughout your day of events in your Google calendar so you can see exactly where your time is going, and not over-commit. I like to colour-code different activities so that I know what type of day I’m creating and it can intentionally be more all-rounded.

• Spend less time making it perfect, and focus on getting the task done. In other words, strive for quick wins by breaking down each task in many small tasks.

And most importantly, have a planned day off. Make it a habit to unplug, and to NOT always be in the zone!

This not only makes you more effective (because now, you only work 6 days a week), you’re able to refresh and reprioritize your tasks better.

I’ve adopted the concepts of essentialism from the author Greg McKeown, from his work Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less.

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#2 – The Mind-Body-Spirit Approach

When we are work-oriented, we are using the physical body and mental plane to achieve outcomes.

But we are more than just the body and mind. In my best-selling workshop about Life’s Purpose, we explore the ancient wisdom that says we have 5 metaphysical layers of our existence. It’s a fascinating rabbit hole to go down, and here are some ideas from it:

• For instance, if you practice mindful breathing (pranamaya kosha) everyday, you will increase your capacity to stay more regulated in challenging situations;

• If you create a small Meditation ritual (vijnanamaya kosha) before work, you’ll have the chance to quiet down and receive guidance from a higher consciousness. Versus hitting your head for solutions. You’ll even be able to trust your intuition more and get yourself out of tricky situations faster or even predict them before they happen!

• And if you work with awareness of your 3 gunas (rajas, tamas, satvik), you can work in the most ethical way, and channel ideas that are of the highest good for all concerned.

The purpose is to identify blocks in every layer, every kosha. And then to target those spaces through a simple spiritual practice. See if you’re able to identify your blocks and find a few practices worth incorporating in your life?

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#3 – Explore the unconscious mind

When we are obsessed about something and can’t seem to stop, there’s a deeper (and unconscious) WHY.

One person might be grasping for a sense of accomplishment because they’ve always felt like a failure. For another person, it may be the pursuit of fame in order to feel seen and valued. Or it might be about the money as a sense of security if someone has lived a humble upbringing.

No reason is better or worse. They’re all unmet needs that are finding their ways to be met through this excessive tendency of workaholism.

So my third tip is to slow down and reflect on what you think might happen if you stopped working. What fears come up for you?

It might be the fear of failure. Or feeling lost because you’ve built an identity around your productivity. I invite you to bring this fear to your conscious awareness so you can heal it.

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#4 – Confronting escapism

The reason so many senior citizens fall into depression post their retirement, is that they are so used to being useful or productive. And it is unbearable for them to not do something anymore.

Of course, these feelings of loneliness, purposelessness and even existential crisis are growingly common to all ages. The reason is simple (though not easy to grasp).

We have been escaping the emotions that are too uncomfortable for us to feel when there’s a challenge. As a result, we develop different coping mechanisms to soothe ourselves such as binge eating, drinking, watching countless hours of mind-numbing TV, and so on. And sometimes, our best escape route becomes our work.

So, what do we do now? Let’s work on this.

Start by acknowledging the different feelings and moods you are suppressing and covering up underneath piles of work. The Emotions Wheel is a great place to start building knowledge and vocabulary around emotions.

Next: can you allow yourself to be with these emotions without bypassing them?

If that sounds daunting, please note that it’s completely normal! Most of us have not developed the appropriate skills for emotional regulation. This is some of the deeper work that you may not have the capacity to navigate alone. And I would encourage you to get professional support.

As an internationally certified and trauma-informed life coach, I would be happy to offer you that support. You can use the link in my bio below to sign-up for a complimentary consult and see if we are a good fit for this work.

Concluding Thoughts

Workaholism is the manifestation of something deeper being unmet. I hope this article helps you understand that:

• One, we need to be mindful of what we work on each day,
• Two, we need to challenge our need to work so much by reflecting on the deeper WHY,
• And three, we need to redirect our energy to flow across every dimension of life, without letting it revolve around the very thing we’re taking a break from. Work!

You might also enjoy reading 5 Tips to Achieve Work-Life Balance.

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