When It’s Time to Let Go: A Spiritual Lens on Half-Hearted Relationships

Lately, a theme has been showing up with many clients, which I’d like to address today. The unfathomable grief of having to let go of a loved one who no longer values the relationship.

These can be some of the most intimate connections – lifelong friends, siblings, or other family members we once felt closest to. So it’s understandable that we want to persevere and believe that this stormy season shall pass. However, these conversations usually happen when my clients start admitting that the relationship has been one-sided, half-hearted and draining for a while.

Have you experienced this too?

The person who cares is:

• Putting in way more effort to make it work,
• Willing to forgive even if the other isn’t sorry,
• Constantly overlooking misbehaving,
• Scared to set boundaries / know they won’t be respected,
• And deep down – living with an internal battle between anger (this isn’t right) and fear (what if this ends our relationship)

The other person? Seems to keep drifting away. No amount of conversation, convincing or even silence seems to affect them.

So… what’s going on?

From a spiritual lens, the relationship (and people in it) has evolved. And sometimes it stops being relevant to our journey in this lifetime – the purpose was served, the lessons were learned, and it’s truly time to move on.

On the human level, this can bring deep pain and grief.

But sometimes what’s most freeing is understanding (not just cognitively, but in your heart) that we are always connected at the soul level. We are never truly separate.

Here’s a client’s journey to help capture this.

Growing up, her sister had been deeply loving and nourishing. But in adulthood, their relationship turned toxic and painful – to the point of becoming unbearable.

Through guided spiritual work, my client connected with her sister’s Higher Self and realized:

• Her sister wasn’t willing (at least right now) to do the inner work needed in the human form.
• Her sister had her own path and pace, and it wasn’t my client’s role to witness or carry her through it.
• The most loving choice was to step back, allowing both of their journeys to continue in parallel.

And the most healing realization? Even as they separate in this human life, her sister’s spirit is still rooting for her. She felt deep love, sorrow and strength from her sister. My client could see that her sister wasn’t out of her life for good – this is a painful blip in a very long spiritual journey of relating to each other.

But this doesn’t make sense?!

How can someone who irks us so much in human life love us so much as a soul? The confusion isn’t yours alone. Here’s how I wrap my head around it.

We’re all here to mirror the deepest wounds (and truths) in each other’s lives. And for us to see the truth, sometimes we need to be shaken awake. It’s not pleasant. Oh, I wish healing could have been softer on us. But sometimes, a spiritual jolt is what helps the soul finally let go of something it may have been trying to release for lifetimes!

So here’s what you need to know: at the soul level, we’re not just “siblings” or “lovers” or “friends.” We’re multi-dimensional beings who have a soul contract to play many roles in each other’s lifetimes.

But beyond those roles, we remain deeply connected.

The reason all this stuff matters and is important for us to understand is because otherwise, our journey plateaus if we’re not ready to let go of what’s holding us back. Even when that’s someone we love.

So, for instance, I had a client who really wanted to get married, but as we dug deeper into what might be unconsciously keeping her stuck, she realized she was staying back for her widowed mother.

She didn’t want to leave her mom behind, but connecting with her mom’s higher self helped her recognize that her mom actually needed her to leave so that she herself could move on and experience the next chapter in her life.

So if this brings you any solace: when you are ready to let go, it will probably be one of the greatest honours to yourself and to them, because it frees up space for both your souls to keep growing.

Sometimes, things turn around

I don’t say this to bring false hopes into the picture. Rather, to share a couple of examples of what I mean.

In my own journey of grieving many, many lost relationships, especially with my dearest friends, here’s what I’ve seen happen as a theme – after a few years, something happens to reignite a conversation.

At that stage, the intensity and connection are nothing like the old days, but rather a softer, kindred-like connection. Like their soul nodding to mine, in human time, “we’re still good”.

These rekindlings haven’t made our relationship come back, but my heart has felt closure and peace knowing that the distance we’re at today is amicable enough.

Another example I can share is that once our karmic debts are over for some relationships, the dynamic can shift into a different type of connection. For example, romantic relationships might become friendships. Or parents/elders with whom we once fought might become our mentors and friends too.

And last but not least, sometimes, a relationship does come back full swing. To that, I say, it’s still not the old relationship because neither of you is the same two people. You’ve evolved, the boundaries have changed, the dynamic has shifted – it’s a new saga in the same lifetime. What a gift to get to explore a new set of lessons together!

Concluding Thoughts

If you’re struggling in a relationship, give yourself permission to grieve the loss. And also, with time, sit with the knowing that your bond goes beyond this lifetime.

However, if you’re finding it hard to access that deeper knowing on your own, please know that I would be honoured to hold that space with you through 1:1 coaching.

And if you have any questions for me about this topic, let me know in the comments below. Holding your tender, grieving heart with love!

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