Will manifestation only work when you “let go”? Spoiler: nope!

Can you manifest your dreams without letting go of your expectations? Do you really have to surrender and wait for divine timing when you badly want something? In this latest article about manifestation and spirituality, I’m about to share some real-life experiences with you.

I’d like to begin sharing this journey by contradicting the typical advice: don’t “let go and hope for the best”. I say, you don’t have to surrender and pretend like you don’t care to manifest your dreams. Ready for some juicy storytelling? Let’s dive right in!

Why Detachment and Letting Go is just ONE part of the picture when Manifesting

The number one rule I’ve heard during manifestation work is to let go of the outcome.

But how do I let go of wanting a baby when you are in the thick of it?

Meaning 14 pills a day, multiple injections across the body and countless visits to the doctor’s office every other day.

Of course, I value the spiritual lesson of “letting go” and trusting the process. And before I dived head-first into motherhood, I was definitely in a space of detachment for some time. But that detachment was a way to pause and create clarity about my dreams and hopes, versus giving up on them or trying to be happy without them. Here’s that sweet story.

In the summer of 2023, I made a conscious decision to stop trying for a baby. The decision came after 2 painful years of doing everything under the sun – from acupuncture and IUI, to naturopathy and Ayurvedic cleanses; and from arduous rituals at various temples across the world, to fasting and vowing to the Gods in hopes of pleasing them for a “blessing”. 

In fact, my whole family was involved in the craze. We really believed we could wish the baby into existence.

Having gone through all of that, at some point, it finally clicked. My mental, physical and chemical health were what made me, me, and without them, I wouldn’t be much of a mother to my child anyway. 

And so the stuff that was getting in the way of my mental, physical and chemical health (referring to the non-exhaustive list above), needed to stop.

This decision initially had pushback: my family thought I was giving up. But that’s far from what I was experiencing internally.

I had a dialogue with the Universe: there’s a way out there that lets me become a mother without taking a toll on me.

You’d think I was being picky for someone who wasn’t having any luck with her pregnancy to begin with. My husband hates wit hen I say this, but beggars can’t be choosers. Or can they?

The answer, in my case, was yes. Let’s get into that part of the story now.

Be picky even if it hasn’t happened yet; don’t compromise on what you truly stand for

At some point, as life moved along, multiple events synchronistically lined up before me, suggesting that IVF was the right choice for us. And I moved in the direction of these synchronicities.

It’s ironic when I say this, but IVF was the easiest procedure I went through. For most of the world, it’s actually one of the most invasive and taxing procedures a woman can experience. And yet, for some reason, I felt like I was carried through the process on an angel’s wings.

As detached as I was the summer before, the next winter of my life was very much the opposite. I was co-creating with the Universe, working hand in hand, my energy fully dialled into this birthing process.

Every single time I popped a pill or my husband injected my belly/hip, I simply said one thing. I am one step closer to my baby.

Even when they implanted the embryo two months later, I was delulu enough to be welcoming my five-day-old child into my womb. Yes, the rest of the world would get to meet baby V nine months later, but I had already become a mother.

Was this a coincidence? Good luck? Or maybe it really was just divine timing?

I would totally get it if you feel skeptical that this is replicable. So, here are some more quick examples of when reality manifested for me, NOT when I let go of my desire for the outcome, but rather when I dialled into the process and worked with the Universe.

First, it’s how my husband and I finally reunited after a 14-month prolonged delay in my visa getting processed. I stopped waiting for it to happen and instead started clearing my unconscious blocks to move out of India. The very week I finally felt “clear” about going, my father-in-law called me and said, we’ve booked you on the last seat of an evacuation flight. You’re coming home!

Mind you – this was the first month the world went into lockdown. But when it’s your time, it can work out even through a global crisis.

In the same fashion, this happened with switching out of my corporate job and pursuing my passion for writing and coaching. There were many moments of detachment and giving up on ideas, but those moments of surrender were only a piece of the puzzle. Here’s my full “life purpose” story. Ultimately, I stepped into a career that has brought me so much joy; I jokingly call this my first baby! It wasn’t by chance or by waiting, but taking ownership of my part in the play.

So does that mean we can manifest anything we want?

Yes and no.

Just as much as I believe in the power of free will and being an active participant in our own journey, there are a lot of other factors (spiritual contracts, karmic debt, heaven & earth factors, etc) that fall beyond our control. I speak to those factors at great length in this article.

But for instance, you can’t manifest a specific partner if they aren’t already a part of your soul’s contract. Why? Because they have their own free will and destiny that may actually require moving away from you towards something that supports their soul’s highest expansion. Just like yours, potentially moving away from them towards something more aligned with your soul!

On the other side of this conversation, I also believe in God’s grace. Yes, we may have some tough karmic debt to move through, but our lessons are not a life sentence, and we don’t always have to learn through pain. When we work with the universe, miracles can happen. Sometimes, once we’ve healed through the lessons, our manifestation abilities expand, and we are able to bring in more of our desired outcomes to life.

There’s much to be said about our soul’s journey, and I share a couple of other articles and resources at the end that build more nuance around this topic. In general, you’ll find tons of material throughout the blog, so there are many rabbit holes here for you to keep exploring!

But for now, the core message is: go ahead and give yourself permission to claim a reality where your happiness exists, without compromise, and ask the Universe to help you find a way to get there without the drama. 

4 Affirmations & Mindset Reframes to Support Your Manifestation Journey

Before I wrap up this article about manifestation and the myth that we have to let go of our dreams to turn them into reality, here are some ideas to sit with.

Try having a conversation with the Universe while putting yourself in the headspace of ideas such as:

There’s more than one way to get there.
I am not “missing out” by letting go of this path that doesn’t work for me anymore;
This has nothing to do with what I “deserve”;
Just because I don’t see it yet doesn’t mean there isn’t a better way to do this.

And then watch your unique path open up – one where you’re invited to be an active participant in your own manifestation!

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