I consider myself an accidental spiritual writer because even though I’ve always loved writing, it never once occurred to me that one day it would be about spirituality. Today, as a part of my self-reflection, power play came up as a theme. And I was humbled to realize the ways in which I was misusing my power as a writer. See how this post lands for you in your life.
Feeling Powerful Can Make Us Feel Full Of Ourselves
There was a phase in college where I got involved with a food reviewing group. We’d get invited to restaurants to try out their food, in exchange for an honest review. There were a couple of incidents where the management and food was really subpar and I left a sour review.
Sometimes my parents would feel like I was going too far and that the reviews might bring personal attacks on me.
This memory flashed back as I was looking at my own fear of being criticized as a new author. The truth is, I have no idea how to write a book, let alone a book that matters. And the fear has engulfed me for several years to the point that I often find myself looking down at my books even though it took me a whole other level of courage to put them out there.
Today, as I decided to move beyond this inner critic, it humbled me to realize how the power I had as a consumer was getting to my head. I was, albeit unknowingly, misusing my power.
A big part of our healing requires us to practice self-forgiveness and know that there’s an innocent intention, no matter how malicious the action.
I tried not to judge myself for this incident. Here’s the thing.
I wasn’t trying to be malicious, at least not in my head.
To me, it was like wearing the “food critic” cape and I just wanted to do the role justice. I look back at it today and see the moments of immaturity that shimmer. But I also see that those events really were subpar and deserved to be highlighted. Maybe just not with the extremities that I deployed.
When I saw that even misusing power could have a childlike innocence, I also had flashbacks of the two people online who had said nasty things about me at some point in my work as a writer. I could finally see that they weren’t villains in my story. They were just wearing the “social media police” cap and wanted to do their role right.
For the first time in months, I didn’t feel hurt. I felt like I could understand where they were coming from – because I had once been there myself.
But who gives us this power?
Who is anyone to come up to us and say hurtful things? Why do they believe that they have that kind of right?
The person displaying that power, is the one that believes he or she has it.
Have you ever participated in Halloween and dressed up as a character? Have you really felt “in character” and that magically you were acting so much more differently than you usually do?
And then the mask and makeup comes off and you’re back to being yourself. What happened there?
The same thing that happens in daily life. We are all putting on different masks that temporarily make us feel powerful. But sometimes, when left unchecked, the very power that can give a person their biggest breakthrough in their career can also be the power that destroys another person’s reputation and life.
What masks do you wear? What roles are you playing in everyday life? And when you wear them, how differently do you behave from who you believe you actually are? In other words – how can you be more of your true, centred self and still do everything you’re meant to do?
Think about it. And go deeper into thinking that even though you have all these roles and power, you might not always be using it for the greater good. If that’s true for you, imagine now, how difficult it must really be, to wear a superhero cape and not get carried away.
Honouring every real-life and reel-life superhero that has worked wonders with power. How I see it is that the only way we can have power over power, is when we are focused and have the bigger picture in our mind. The higher the vision, the more power we get to work towards it, and the less we try to use it for personal gain.
I’m ready to do bigger things for the spiritual community and use the power I have to be of deeper service. What about you?
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Photo credits: Inspired Stock Shop, Unsplash