Almost there: 3 tips for when you’re working hard but are still not seeing results

Are you in this boat? In the beginning, you feel immense clarity about where you want to go in life. You know where you’re headed, feel driven, taking action. And then… Months go by. Sometimes even years. And it still feels like you are putting in way more than what should be coming back to you. That “almost there” energy is incredibly draining. In some cases, it can even lead to burnout or giving up on the goal altogether. We might begin to believe everyone else can have it, but we’ve tried everything, and it’s just not meant for us.

I see this topic come up in coaching quite a bit, especially in scenarios when a client is trying to go full-time on their life purpose, or hasn’t been able to have a child after trying for years. So I thought I’d pen down some ideas for you to help overcome this black hole-esque experience!

Side note: Not everyone who hasn’t reached their goal is living in “almost there” energy. Sometimes we’re genuinely missing a strategy. Or we’ve outgrown the goal we originally set. Maybe life throws us curveballs that require patience more than persistence, such as what I’ve talked about here, in Destiny versus Free Will.

This article isn’t about those situations.

I’m speaking to the person who, deep down, feels something different.

You know this is where you’re meant to go. You’ve done the inner work, invested in yourself and this goal, and you’ve worked on the strategy. You continue showing up. And yet, something keeps you from crossing the finish line. Sounds like you? Keep reading.

What Is the “Almost There” Energy?

I want you to slow down and get familiar with your own version of “almost there.”

For me, it’s thoughts like, “If I just keep going a little bit longer, the grand promise, the grand unfolding, will occur. The overnight success will finally happen.”

You can almost see it.

You just can’t quite touch it.

Does yours sound something like that? Or does it have a different flavour? It’s the voice in your head that’s been encouraging you to keep going even though things don’t seem to be getting much further along.

Whatever form it takes, “almost there” carries the sense that there’s just something standing in the way. One thing. Maybe two. If you could just overcome those final blocks, everything would finally click into place.

What If… “Almost There” is BETTER?

What a crazy question to ask, I know! But this is another way of saying, what if my nervous system feels safer being “almost there” versus feeling like I’ve arrived?

But why would your nervous system prefer feeling frustrated, exhausted, and sometimes even hopeless?

Let’s explore some examples:

• Getting there might feel financially scary, with beliefs such as
  • more money to manage, which means more burden/responsibility;
  • someone might steal it from me;
  • someone might try to sue me to get it from me;
  • loved ones might start asking for financial help, and I won’t be able to say no;
  • I might get into tax trouble (this was me!), etc.
    
• It might feel unsafe because of the responsibility that comes with success:
  • Less freedom of time because success comes with more commitments and expectations;
  • More success means more pressure to maintain or keep proving yourself;
  • More clients depending on you, and the fear of disappointing them;
    
• It might change your relationship with your spouse, your friends, or your family.
  • People close to you may feel left behind as you grow or change;
  • Your priorities, values, or lifestyle may shift, creating distance or misunderstandings;
  • You may no longer relate to old conversations, habits, or dynamics;
  • Your success may bring up comparison, jealousy, or insecurity in others;
  • You may become more independent, confident, or outspoken, changing the balance in relationships (ME!)
• Or perhaps you’d finally discover that the dream you’ve been chasing isn’t quite what you imagined. And there’s no Plan B.

When we stay “almost there,” something interesting happens.

We get to keep the dream alive without fully living the reality. And we don’t have to find out whether we’re capable of handling success. Or navigate the changes that might come with it.

So, as frustrating as “almost there” can feel, it’s still familiar, and thus, safe.

The beautiful thing is this: if your nervous system learned to feel safe in “almost there,” it can also learn to feel safe in being there.

So I’d love for you to sit with this question and meet your deepest concerns a little more closely:

Why is “almost there” safer than being there?

The examples I provided may have already touched on your truth, or may hint at what your reasons are.

And if nothing comes up? That’s okay too.

Sometimes these answers don’t reveal themselves in one sitting. They might appear a few days later while you’re driving, taking a walk, or having a conversation.

Just stay curious. And keep reading. I have more ideas for you.

3 Ways to Move Beyond “Almost There”

#1 – Find the moments where you’ve already arrived

Make a list of ten things in your life where you’re already living the reality instead of striving toward it.

These don’t have to relate to your goal. Some examples:

• Maybe it’s your solid morning routine. You wake up, brush your teeth, make yourself a cup of coffee, sit down, and read the news. You’re not trying to become someone who drinks coffee every morning. You’re simply living that reality.
• Maybe you’re someone who naturally keeps in touch with loved ones. You don’t have to try; you just have a well-connected life.
• Maybe you go for a walk every day, or have a regular meditation practice that doesn’t require convincing yourself.

You’re no longer pursuing these things. You’re there.

The reason we’re doing this exercise is that your nervous system already has evidence that it knows how to arrive. It already knows what it feels like to stop striving and simply inhabit reality versus living in constant tug of war.

We’re reminding your system that “being there” isn’t actually foreign.

Once you’ve made your list of ten, here’s the next prompt. Ask yourself:

Does it feel safe to already be there?

Notice how it feels to recognize that, in so many areas of your life, you’ve already allowed yourself to arrive.

#2 – Visualize Feeling Success with Your Goal

Ask yourself:

What if I could feel like I’ve arrived with my goal?

What would that look like? Might it actually be okay?

As you visualize that season of life where you are successful, you may notice another fear-based emotion arise.

If it does, that’s worth unpacking.

Or perhaps you simply notice that it feels… right.

It would feel right to finally lose those fifteen pounds.

It would feel right to finally have a full roster of clients.

It would feel right to stop striving and simply live that reality.

Sometimes, you just need permission and a felt sense that it would actually feel so aligned.

This happened with me when I envisioned having my second child. It was scary in my head, but imagining brought an immediate sense of relief and a profound connectedness to my child’s Higher Self.

3. Take Action Anyway

Hopefully, through one of the exercises above, you’ve uncovered the blind spot behind your “almost there” energy.

Whatever the fear or concern is, ask yourself:

Do I know that to be absolutely true?

I remember when I first started My Spiritual Shenanigans. I didn’t tell anyone about it for at least a year, writing anonymously.

Slowly, I began sharing my writings and what I was doing with a few close friends over email. As more people found out, something unexpected happened.

People actually liked me more.

I remember coworkers finding my Instagram page one day. They complimented me. They thought it was really cool. Meanwhile, I was brushing it off, feeling embarrassed, convinced it was this strange little thing I was doing. Their reaction surprised me.

Now, that doesn’t mean your experience will look exactly like mine.

Sometimes people won’t understand.

And relationships do change.

Sometimes greater responsibility really is harder.

This isn’t about convincing yourself that every fear is false. It’s about allowing reality to teach you what’s true instead of letting imagination make every decision for you.

Why not test it, and maybe it works out?

My thought process here is that we can imagine every possible scenario in our heads.

Or… We can let reality surprise us.

If this is the path you’re meant to take, reality will give you information that imagination never can. Maybe greater responsibility won’t crush you. Maybe it’ll simply teach you how to delegate. And the conversation you’re afraid to have becomes the one that deepens a relationship rather than ending it. Or you’ll discover that one of your fears was valid, and you’ll also discover that you’re far more capable of navigating it than you once believed.

Either way, your soul will have learned something important, and you’ll have more clarity than today. That’s worth trying, right?

So set yourself up for a fun (and healing) challenge.

For the next 30 days, or even 90 days, stay in action despite all the fears and worries. Sometimes action is a better desensitizer than doing the inner work (I’m all about the inner work, and so if I’m saying this, really trust me on this!). Here are some ideas:

• Reach out to two people. Tell them what you do. Collect the no’s. Keep going anyway.
• Join a group or community that’s focused on the same goal, and allows you to be seen in action, together.
• Include your friends and family in the goal: do a walk in the park with another mom friend who is building a business, practice your sales skills on your siblings or spouse.
• Hire a VA, nanny or housecleaner! Not forever, not as a substantial expense. Just to get used to delegation.

You’re testing your assumptions. You’re seeing whether life meets you halfway once you stop living from the “almost there” energy.

Note: I wouldn’t recommend a challenge shorter than thirty days because I want you to experience the habit of staying in action while still feeling all the feelings.

Every time you continue showing up, you’re collecting new evidence. Maybe your fears are confirmed. Or maybe they’re softened. And sometimes, they’re completely disproven.

And through this, you’re teaching the nervous system that it can often handle far more than it once believed. You’re learning to trust yourself more.

No Concluding Thoughts

I’m intentionally leaving this article open-ended because I’d genuinely love to hear what unfolds for you.

Come back in a few weeks and share your experience. Did these exercises help you understand yourself a little better?

Did they help you see what was really standing in the way? As you took messy, uncomfortable, courageous action, did anything begin to shift?

Did anything surprise you? Did something new emerge that never had before? I want to hear where this takes you. Please do drop me a comment and share your story. I’m cheering you on!

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