Breaking Soul Contracts & Cutting Cords

This article is inspired by a recent conversation with one of my blog readers, Fatima. She asked some important questions that I’d like to address today. Can we actually break soul contracts and cut cords through modalities such as hypnotherapy? Does the other person also have to learn their lesson for the soul contract to be complete? How would I know if I’ve learned my spiritual lessons? And more. Let’s dive in.

Some context

If you’re new to my blog, welcome! Soul Contracts has become one of the most-read topics in this space. There’s a lot I’ve already covered, so if this all sounds new to you, please start here.

Second, when I talk about soul contracts as a way for our soul to learn lessons, it isn’t to dismiss the pain we bear or to say it’s justified in the name of growth. That would be spiritual bypassing.

Rather, this lens is to help us understand that what we’re experiencing isn’t necessarily something we are doomed to live with forever or that God is “punishing” us, but rather something we’ve agreed to experience for our soul’s growth.

This distinction can help us move forward feeling empowered, rather than continuing to perpetuate our suffering.

Discovering our spiritual lessons with other souls

A recent example is a client who consistently found herself in draining relationships. Everyone always seemed to need something from her – there was always an agenda, and nothing seemed genuine or mutual.

This dynamic showed up across friendships, family, and work, too. People would stay in her home, expect care, and rely on her emotionally and financially. Over time, she had become completely depleted.

As a part of our coaching together, we explored why healthy, reciprocal relationships felt out of her reach.

It soon became clear that her unconscious mind was hooked to the role of caregiving. Not just from this lifetime, but rooted in a past life experience. She had been a doctor in a war zone, where caregiving was not only her role but her identity. It gave her meaning and a sense of purpose in that lifetime, which she had carried forward into this life, because her soul wasn’t ready to move beyond caregiving.

She needed the current relationships to be so demanding that it would help her soul finally see that she could have purpose and meaning beyond her identity as a caregiver.

This relief led to the realization that her current version of living out a life of purpose would mean moving forward as a mentor. And also that this was just a role, she didn’t have to tie her identity to it.

Less saviour energy, more empowering… and still service-oriented. How beautiful isn’t it?

That was the shift that helped her release (and forgive) many of the old karmic relationships that were draining her from caregiving. Over the next few months of our work, we witnessed her attract healthier relationships, and it became easier for her to let go of the types that were draining.

Now, let’s talk about the idea of cutting cords, as this is a common modality associated with healing soul contracts.

What does it mean to cut cords with someone?

One popular spiritual practice is to visualize energy fields or cords connecting us with other people (and places).

We can use these cords to send love and healing to each other.

We can also use the cords to “communicate” with each other’s souls at a higher level, which I go into detail about here.

And when we say we are energetically cutting cords with someone, the idea is to release them from our lives through this visualization process.

Does it work? Depends. Keep reading.

Why cutting cords doesn’t work

So then, should we simply cut cords with everyone involved in a painful dynamic?

From my perspective, at the highest level, no cords can actually be cut, because we are all One Consciousness. We come from the same Source, and go back to the same Source. There’s no real separation.

But I don’t say this to be discouraging. Because I know that the concept of cord-cutting can sound so promising when someone has been in a painful soul contract for so long.

However, I’ve frequently seen it used for the wrong reasons, thus becoming ineffective:

• to bypass grief or anger that still needs to be processed
• to change or control the other person energetically
• to “end” a relationship without changing one’s own participation (ie, not doing our inner work to learn the lessons)
• to hide and spiritualize a situation instead of setting actual, real-world boundaries

All of these are understandable desires. But these are the kinds of situations where relationship dynamics will repeat themselves. Even if it’s not with the same person, it begins to look very familiar with the next one.

How to make cord-cutting effective

Cord-cutting serves a psychological and energetic purpose.

It acts like a ritual. And helps the nervous system, the mind, and the body begin to let go of an old dynamic and the pain associated with it. So definitely do that at some point, maybe as a daily visualization for the next week or month.

This supports release and encourages us to reset. BUT, it can’t replace learning the actual lessons.

So, for that, what I typically suggest first is to identify the karmic lesson this person is bringing to your life. Then, consciously practice a new response.

Using the client’s example, after these realizations, she began noticing herself throughout the day in different interactions and catching herself the moment the caregiving impulse arose.

Rather than acting on autopilot, she paused. It wasn’t perfect, and that’s not the point. But it’s to recognize that we can have an identity outside of our old patterns.

This is where the real healing occurs.

Not in our heads, not in the visuals, but through human action.

Not magical and mystical anymore, I know! But I promise things shift when you shift.

What if you can’t stop acting out of old patterns?

I’ve been working on my people-pleasing wounds since time immemorial! And here’s what I can say about such core wounds that don’t seem to ever fully go away.

I believe that everyone deserves to learn their lessons with love and kindness.

If someone hasn’t fully learned a lesson, it does not mean they must continue attracting toxic relationships to complete it.

Lessons do not require suffering to be learned. They can also arrive through healthy relationships, through people who model boundaries, mentorship, and balanced care.

Even if you feel you haven’t fully learned a lesson yet, you can still hold an intention for gentleness.

You can say, I am a student of life. I am willing to learn. I am willing to do the work. Please be kind to me. May my lessons be kind. May my soul contracts be kind.

Do both people need to learn the lesson for a soul contract to be completed?

The short answer is no.

We are all doing our own work at our own pace. While yes, we’re here to help each other learn our lessons, our journeys are very much in solitude.

And I don’t say this in a melancholic way. It’s actually quite beautiful and poetic when you think of how unique each soul’s journey is, and how we’re literally the only ones to experience life exactly as we are. But I digress…

Coming back to other people’s side of the soul contract. Something else I like to focus on with clients is recognizing that our lessons usually appear in many of our relationships at the same time, in different degrees.

It may show up with a boss, a family member, a neighbour, or internally in how we treat themselves too. So the common denominator is us, not the people mirroring our pattern.

And once you begin to notice the urge to return to old patterns and instead pause and choose a different response, the healing begins. Either the person naturally falls out of your life, or the dynamic itself changes.

I’ve seen this often in long-standing family relationships, where boundaries start to get respected, and interactions soften as one person heals.

On a similar note, I’ve written this Instagram post about how friendships can end without rhyme or reason, and why that might not be a personal failure, but rather a soul contract completing after lessons were learned.

View this post on Instagram

“How do I know when a soul contract is complete?”

How will I know I’m done? Is there a moment of epiphany where everything changes, or is it gradual healing?

I don’t think of healing as a dramatic event. Sure, there are moments of breakthrough and clarity, but it doesn’t always have to feel like fireworks!

I’d focus on signs like:

• the emotional charge softening between you and the other person
• less compulsion to explain, fix, or relive the story that the other person triggers within you
• feeling neutrality or clarity instead of chasing relief or victory from arguments

And maybe these prompts can help you find your own conclusions: think back on a relationship that is no longer relevant in your life. How did that happen? What did you let go of before or after it was over? What helped you move on?

Concluding Thoughts

Healing soul contracts is a mammoth task to take on. So you’re not alone in feeling frustrated, “done”, or like you’re hitting up against a wall even after you’ve tried everything.

Just know that this has nothing to do with what you deserve – and everything to do with a crazy hand of cards dealt to you for your soul’s growth.

If there’s anything I can do to offer you more tools and support to make this journey easier, I would be honoured to extend my 1:1 coaching to you. Feel welcome to get in touch, and we can move through this together.

Celebrating your willingness to see these soul contracts through and reclaim your joy and expansiveness in life!

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