This reflection comes from a recent client call. She was recalling a moment from childhood that would mark the before and after of her relationship with God. A moment where she lost faith, not just in her family, but also in her Soul Guides and everyone “up there”. And what followed was years of spiritual disconnect, feeling lost and a sense of emptiness. I share this article to validate her and others who have a similar relationship with their spiritual Creator. And, to share some perspective on how to move forward from here.
Her Story
As a child, she was severely asthmatic. One episode was so intense that she couldn’t breathe. Her body was shutting down. And in that moment, she had what she described as an out-of-body experience.
She didn’t want to be here anymore.
She remembers connecting with her soul guides. And being told, It’s not your time. You have to go back.
So she did. And that moment left a spiritual scar.
Because biologically, as a child, she wasn’t being supported in the way she needed. She was left alone in her room, with pain and physical suffering that was way too big for anyone to handle. Let alone for a young child.
And now, even her soul tribe – the ones we’re told are always there to protect and guide us – sent her back.
What does a child decide in a moment like this?
No one is coming. I can’t trust anybody. I’m all I’ve got.
Many of us have these spiritual core wounds. Moments where the deepest rupture isn’t just with caregivers, or other humans… but with the Creator itself.
So when my client shared her experience, I moved carefully.
Why? Because, yes, I like to use spiritual modalities like Higher Self, Soul Guides and Past Life Regression when my clients are seeking that depth in our work.
But I am deeply cautious about how and when it’s used. Because when spirituality is used too soon, it can become dismissive – something we call spiritual bypassing.
So I set the context for her: I’m not going into this to tell you what happened was “meant” to happen.
And we’re not going to rationalize your pain with spiritual theory like karma or soul contracts.
What I wanted instead was to give her permission to question her Universe:
“Why did you leave me alone?
Why did you send me back when I was done?”
“Why such suffering and no respite?”
Permission to Question the Universe & Its Workings
As she gave herself space to grieve and process complex emotions like anger, betrayal and loneliness, the wisdom of her Higher Self began to pour out.
Something inside of her recognized that, underneath the abandonment from her family and Soul Guides, was a lesson to trust herself more. To stop self-abandoning.
That’s why even decades later, no one was staying with her. They’d all leave.
The only one who stayed with her, through all of it, was herself.
And that wasn’t something to feel ashamed about or self-pity.
It was a testament to the strength and capability she had never acknowledged in herself. Because she had kept relying on others for that.
The nuance here was: this didn’t mean that others weren’t meant to help her – in fact, this was a whole other layer of grief and healing that she had to bear. But the core lesson here was that she had so much more strength than she gave herself credit for.
Spiritual Lessons Shouldn’t Dismiss Human Suffering
Of course, her realization didn’t erase the pain.
That’s another crucial thing to understand here: our soul’s lessons bring on immense growth, but that growth doesn’t always feel worth it when the suffering feels traumatic.
So this isn’t the kind of healing that shifts things overnight. This healing work requires us to really sit down and acknowledge the hardest moments without trying to sugarcoat and bring happy endings to them.
It’s also not about saying “you chose this”. Because the soul isn’t committed to pain or suffering. It’s committed to growth in spite of it.
Concluding Thoughts
Healing after losing faith in our spiritual journey is about rebuilding ourselves and our faith towards life, slowly, from the inside out.
And it’s about giving ourselves permission to question our faith, our guides, our Universe.
After all, that’s why these are our spiritual shenanigans. 😉
Vasundhra is the Founder & Writer of My Spiritual Shenanigans. After seeing 11:11 on the clock one fateful night, her life turned around. Ever since, she has been blending modern psychology and ancient spirituality, to help herself and people around the world elevate the quality of their lives.
Ready to take your healing deeper? Sign up for her for self-paced classes bundle and/or for personalized 1:1 coaching.
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