Most of us have an inclination to learn more about our personality types. It could be through reading the horoscope in the newspaper, or listening to an energy reading based on your zodiac sign. These seem to be fairly accurate at times. But there are always hits and misses.
So, should we believe what the stars, planets and birth charts claim?
The traits linked to each zodiac sign tell us about our tendency to behave in certain ways in day-to-day situations. These interpretations are generated from an ancient and complex calculation done using our date of birth. The calculation is deepened, once you start analyzing your birth chart with a specific location and time of birth.
However, here are some basic examples of how we’ve begun misusing this ancient wisdom :
- I’ve seen people rejecting a potential relationship just because their signs don’t “match”.
- People casually refer to their unhealed behaviors as a “xyz-sign thing”. They associate so deeply with their zodiac that their identity subconsciously depends on living up to their sign.
- Some might even frequent astrologers and tarot readers, consistently stressed about what the planets have to say about them this week.
- People lose hope because the week ahead is predicted to bring them “bad luck” or any other misfortune.
As much or less accurate as birth chart based readings can be for us, they are never an EXCUSE to behave those ways, nor to generalize or stereotype people.
And definitely not to limit oneself or hold back on experiencing life. When you focus too much on your zodiac sign or natal chart, you are doing yourself more harm than good. Why?
Because now, you’re too focused on living with certainty. You want to be certain if your health, wealth & love life will be intact. And thus you start losing your capacity to live in uncertainty and experience comfort in the unknowing of life.
You’re no longer curious or in awe of the unpredictable yet delightful nature of the universe. You find it even harder to surrender. In hopes of feeling comforted by knowing the future, you’ve actually begun making yourself more anxious than ever.
Even more importantly, a shift in planetary movement or moon cycle should NOT mean we now have the permission to lose accountability and blame the external.
Our zodiac signs should solely be used as a beautiful guideline, to help us see the life lessons we should focus on overcoming. Some lessons, we may have already freed ourselves from. Others are a work in progress. And there may be a few you weren’t even aware of.
So essentially, the path of healing and self-awareness raises a question worth speculating upon.
“Now that I have become aware of a limitation about myself, how can I make it into my strength?“
I thought it’d be interesting to use some of the personality traits of a Virgo women as described in Speaking Tree, to talk about how I am working to un-zodiac myself and be more than a Virgo woman.
Since these traits are not exclusive to just one sign, I share my tips in hopes to inspire you to heal yourself too!
#1 – Unsolicited Advice
“She always believes that she knows what is best for those around her and therefore throws caring advice whether accepted or not.”
The biggest lesson in 2019 was that I CANNOT change anyone else, except myself. I can only hope that when I tell people how I feel, they will be considerate enough to behave differently.
How did I stop giving unsolicited advice? With three small steps.
- First, is to pause and ask someone clearly, if they are looking for my advice on their issue, or just need me to listen.
- Second, when someone is merely venting, I simply bite down my tongue, reminding myself to only share opinions when asked.
- Third, if it’s something that I need to initiate, such as telling someone I didn’t like their behaviour, I ask myself – why does this impact me? Many times, being able to reflect within makes me more aware of my needs. And if at all a confrontation is required, it is not from an emotionally all-over-the-place way, rather a healthy, boundary-setting one.
#2 – Perfectionism
“Virgo born women are obsessed with a sense of cleanliness in anything and everything.”
Living with a messy (yet very joyful) spouse taught me one thing – organised doesn’t always equal happiness. We don’t live in hotels, and our houses don’t have to always look that way. It’s okay to display signs of living and using things.
I also no longer take the lead in planning events or vacations. AND, I allow people around me to make mistakes, without trying to give them a hard time about it. (still work on the last bit)
Also, as a writer, another way of releasing my need to make-perfect, is to continue posting my content. It doesn’t always resonate with other people or isn’t always ‘polished’. But I consciously keep writing and sharing, allowing my ego to be challenged.
#3 – Masculine-dominant energies
“When she feels the arrival of genuine love in her life, she will experience a sweeping feeling and move towards projecting her attractive feminine qualities.”
I have always been too shy to wear dresses, and considered make-up somewhat superficial and unnecessary. My wedding brought that change within me, which allowed me to embrace my femininity in ways I neglected before.
Not just physical appearance, but I have embraced the quality of being ‘courted’, receiving love and help, and not necessarily always courting. Thus, tapping and balancing my feminine energies.
#4 – Seeking validation
“She craves to be recognised and praised. However, a Virgo woman can never take blame or criticism sportively or constructively.“
Self-love came a little more naturally to me than enduring criticism.
Here’s what works for me – practicing the PAUSE when being criticised.
If we can keep our mental turbulence in check at the actual time of provocation, we can reduce any further drama or volcano-like emotional eruption.
Read More : Seeking Validation in 3 Ways
Later being able to reflect on, and revert on the thing that troubled you is a skill you cannot inherit. Teach yourself that there’s always a next time, and every conversation doesn’t have to be a battle where you have the last say or wittiest comeback.
#5 – Emotionally aloof
“When she escapes into her private world to suffer the blow in silence, she will never like her friends to extend their caring hands to pacify her.”
Having grown up with the mentality that “I got this”, I rarely ever spoke up about my problems within my family. I was more of the advice giver, than taker.
But now, I am learning to share and embrace my imperfections and mood swings. And simply being able to be myself makes a lot of difference.
Permit yourself to exist, just the way you are. Accept yourself, and then the world will too.
It is always inspiring to reflect on how far we’ve come.
So I want to leave you with the thought, if there were 5 ‘negative’ traits that could describe your zodiac sign, how many of them would you say you have overcome over these years of conscious evolution?
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