How to Balance the Ego & the Soul, by Chris Cade

The Law of Attraction poses an interesting conundrum for spiritual seekers: How do we balance what our ego wants with the deep desire to know and commune with ourselves and our soul? Today, spiritual enthusiast Chris Cade shares his beautiful insights on creating harmony between our human and eternal selves. Here’s what he says.

Discovering a practical, useful, and spiritually-oriented answer lies in a simple lesson from one of my spiritual teachers. It was 2008 and I had been working full days at my comfortable six-figure corporate job, then spending time with my family, and after they slept, I would work on my online spiritual business.

I felt conflicted though because I wanted to leave the corporate workplace so that I could be of spiritual service to others. It was frustrating and felt like I really wasn’t in either space.

I said to my spiritual teacher: “I feel like I’m apart from both worlds.”

She paused, looked at me, and said: “What would it be like if you saw yourself as a part of both worlds?”

That answer rocked my world because of its simplicity. She was offering me the profound gift of being truly present, even when I felt conflicted.

I learned that there doesn’t have to be a conflict between what our egos want and what our Spirits want. I was the one creating the conflict.

Taking a step back, I can now see that my ego wanted peace as did my Spirit. They just looked at “peace” differently. My ego-mind saw peace as acquiring the object of its desire so that it could stop seeking. On the other end of the spectrum, my Spirit saw peace as possible when I would stop seeking.

Peace sign logo neon signage

The only difference was that the soul didn’t put an object or requirement on peace. It simply wanted to experience peace as a natural result of being totally and completely present.

What’s important to realize is that this seeming conflict doesn’t have to exist, ever. Since that fleeting yet powerful moment with my teacher, I have come to discover one simple truth.

Everything my ego wants can be achieved and acquired through being present. This realization has made it much easier to have more present moment awareness because my ego isn’t fighting me nearly as hard (it still does, just not as much or as forcefully).

For example, when I first embarked on a spiritual path, I stumbled across “The Secret” as many of us do. The principles of positive thinking and visualization were already familiar to me, yet the way these topics were approached and talked about felt refreshing.

I quickly drummed up some vision boards and decided to focus my external manifesting on two things: financial abundance and experiencing a spiritually-rich intimate relationship.

In other words, I wanted more money and a fantastic woman. 🙂

My ego was good with this. Spiritually though, I felt a little bit shallow wanting for such Earthly pleasures.

The thing is, I learned that Spirit and ego can work together towards a common goal about four years after my spiritual teacher gave me that wisdom about being “a part” of both worlds.

Perhaps most ironic is that I first started to understand this truth, not through the lens of money and relationships, but rather, my physical body. To illustrate my point, we’ll have to backtrack almost thirty years when I actively practiced martial arts. 1994 to be exact.

I had become a martial arts champion. In my rookie year, I won the National Champion title and placed third at the World Games. Yet even in my youthful success, there was a technique I just couldn’t seem to master: The butterfly full-twist.

Now if you don’t know what that means, you’re not alone. It’s fancy martial arts lingo for jumping in the air, turning my body horizontally and then rotate on my axis a full 360 degrees.

man doing karate stunts on gym, mixed martial arts

To be candid, I’m understating things when I say I couldn’t “master” the technique.

My high-performing super-successful 18-year-old ego-mind didn’t want to admit one simple truth: It’s not that I couldn’t master it. I simply couldn’t do it no matter how hard I tried!

I fell repeatedly, and when I didn’t fall, I looked like I really didn’t know what I was doing.

Fast forward to 2012. Though I’d been on a spiritual path for six years, I hadn’t trained in martial arts for decades. That is, until, presence took me by surprise.

My son had been attending martial arts classes with a teacher who was a former competitor and teammate. After watching my little guy’s classes for a couple of months, I started noticing a little agitation in my body. I couldn’t shake it, and soon realized that I had an urge to train again. Though it was unexpected, I embraced the moment and stepped onto the mat one evening to begin training again.

After a few weeks, I discovered something profoundly interesting…

When I was fully present with my body, I learned techniques faster, did them more easily, and fe less fatigue afterwards. I remember thinking to myself that being present with my martial arts felt kind of like a miracle! That’s when I had the insane idea, arising from presence no less, to challenge myself profoundly.

“Coach. I bet you can teach me a butterfly full-twist in under five minutes.”

Never mind the fact that after months of high-intensity training, my 18-year-old body couldn’t do it. Yet here I was, decades later at 35, believing I could somehow do it because I had become more present in my life.

My coach wasn’t phased by my age or lack of recent practice. He simply said to me, “Okay, let’s do it.”

I would try it and fail. He’d give me advice. I’d try again and fail. He’d give me more advice.

We did this for about ten minutes when suddenly I performed it perfectly. Not just decently or even good. It was perfect enough to already take to high-level competition like I’d done decades before.

martial arts mastery by a spiritual practitioner
That moment was when I knew, completely and through my direct experience, that when I am present, my true nature could actually align with what my ego wanted.

This awareness rocked my world and sent me down a path of self-inquiry and discovery that led me to the insight I’m sharing with you today.

As I went further down this inner journey, I really grasped that whatever I thought my ego wanted was something that my soul wanted too. The only difference was that the soul sees it through the lens of purity and True Nature, while the ego distorts my desires because it, in and of itself, cannot grasp the fullness of presence.

I have more stories. Many more. Maybe I’ll tell you them sometime. For today though, I just want to point out that being present also did ultimately help me make more money and step into relationship with a high-quality, conscious, spiritually-minded woman.

How, you might ask?

By being present with what is true in my business, whether what it was effective or not, I begin to see things as they were (not as my ego wishes they were). This has allowed me to adapt and pivot, including during the covid-19 pandemic, and not stay stuck in what my ego thought I “should” be doing or what I “had been doing” all these years.

Instead, I took chances and risks that my ego didn’t like, that weren’t
logical to my ego, yet were soul and presence-driven and brought the balance I so dearly craved. The present moment told me what to do.

The result: My business served more people, made more money, and I was more at peace. You know what else was more at peace? My ego!

What about that relationship I told you about? The same principle applies.

My partner and I consistently strive to be present, and that allows us to move past triggers and conflict quickly and easily. Why? Because we don’t listen to the part of our egos that want to be right. Instead, we listen to the present moment as it reveals to us what actually will bring us closer in relationship.

couple meditating, peaceful, happy marriage, spiritual tips for good married life

The thing is, you can apply this to improve any area of your life. Even though the three in this article speak to wealth, health, and relationships, there really is no limit. That’s because while your ego is limited, presence is not.

Don’t take my word for any of this. This is my experience and truth that arose from my present moments. For any spiritual teaching to be useful, it must be practically applicable in your own life.

Here’s what you can do to bring a balance between the ego and soul:

Next time you want something, be it more money, a great relationship (or even a wonderful first date), or even better health, first focus on being present and in the moment.

Feel the sensations in your hands and feet, including the pressure of your feet on the ground. Notice your breath and feel it move in and out. Listen to the sounds around you. When you look, don’t seek with your eyes but rather allow the sights to come to you.

balance ego soul, breathwork, present moment awareness

The more you do this, the more present you’ll become. This softens the grip of the ego and allows you to listen more fully to the soul, creating a fine balance. In those moments, Spirit will speak to you.

It’ll speak in big and profound ways, as well as quiet and simple ways. Make no mistake about it though, when you are present then Spirit speaks more clearly and directly.

Concluding Thoughts

Do what that present moment guides you to do. I believe that when you do this, you’ll discover what I’ve used all of the previously written words to illustrate: You can make more money, have better health, and significantly improve the quality of your relationships.

Even though that’s what the ego likes to hear, and your ego will love the changes it sees in your life, make no mistake about it: presence made it possible.

More specifically, you’ll start to understand that your Spirit’s wants and desire to be present can fully co-exist with what your ego desires. There is no conflict, and any attempt to believe there is conflict, is merely the ego resisting being present. The resistance doesn’t come from the ego not wanting what Spirit has to offer…

Chris Cade
Chris Cade

Chris is the founder of The Miracles Store, an inspirational online store where you can get uplifting shirts, hoodies, and coffee mugs with positive quotes on them. 10% of the profits help women and children rise up from domestic violence. He is also a certified Firewalk Instructor by Sundoor’s Peggy Dylan (she taught Tony Robbins how to
firewalk), has swum with wild dolphins in the Bahamas, bent spoons with The Monroe Institute, left a six-figure job to become an entrepreneur, and is a grateful full-time single father. His online courses are made completely free by the generous tithes of his community supporters. He also manages a directory of free online spiritual growth events found on the link below.


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