How Complaisant are You?

Not to be confused with complacent, being a total smug, self-approving jerk, the “complaisant mode” is more widespread and activated in us, than we realise. Don’t believe me? Think about these questions.

  • How often do you cut people slack, when you really shouldn’t?
  • How often do you let injustice slide, because it’s a minor inconvenience or doesn’t impact you at all?
  • How often do you conform to society, because you’re too ‘used to’ the way things have always been?

We are all over-accommodating, to several degrees beyond what we’d like to admit. As a matter of fact, this infamous human behaviour can be scene working at different levels.

I consider these our levels of acceptance, for all the wrong reasons.

Globally Complaisant

Global Warming, Ecology, Nature

Signs : Global Warming, Terrorism, Child Trafficking, etc.

How we cope with it : We are helpless. The UN should do something.

What our acceptance means : It’s happening around the world, and to everybody. We’re in this together, even if it’s our doom.

Nationally Complaisant

Euro, Bank Notes, Handshake, Transaction

Signs : Bribery, corruption, blame-games with no action, etc.

How we cope with it : We are powerless. The government is at fault – let’s wait for the elections.

What our acceptance means : Well, atleast it’s better than dictatorship, eh?

Group Complaisance

Signs : Minoritizing, Sexism, Racism, Groupism, Lesser Opportunities, Ostracising, etc.

How we cope with it : We are outnumbered. We don’t even belong here, it’s better to keep our head down.

What our acceptance means : No big deal – we just hang out together and numb the truth.

Read More : 5 Effective Tips to Deal with Toxic People

Personal Complaisance

One Against All, All Against One

Signs : Emotional blackmail, Ragging/Bullying, Peer Pressure, Addictions, etc.

How we cope with it : I deserve this. I don’t know how to live any other way. I would rather be a part of society than a loner.

What our acceptance means : I am okay living a sub-standard life.

We have been brushing things off, at every single level. It’s become second-nature for us to blame everyone else.

“What can I do?”, you may ask.
Start small. That’s always the answer.
We are so focused on perfecting our actions, the quantity, about the instant, tangible gratification that should come from our work, we stay in the procrastination mode.

Robbe, Lazing Around, Lazy, Rest

It is easy to get bogged down trying to find the optimal plan for change: the fastest way to lose weight, the best program to build muscle, the perfect idea for a side hustle. We are so focused on figuring out the best approach, that we never get to taking action.

James Clear, Atomic Habits

If you can’t make an impact on the country or even your city, start in the area (apartments/street) you reside.
If you can’t help anyone else, start in your own house.
Start in your room.
Start in your mind.

The best is the enemy of the good.


Just do something, even if it’s very small and it makes no difference to anyone except YOU.
Upgrade YOUR life.

There are too few people taking up the responsibility for all of us. If we all could do just something to bring change, there would be a lot less heavy-lifting, and the world would definitely, radically change overnight.


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